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Thread: How is it I get along with ENFJs long term but not ESFJs?

  1. #1
    eating bugs out of hair. Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Jun 2007

    Default How is it I get along with ENFJs long term but not ESFJs?

    I mean they're both Fe dom, but for whatever reason it's the ENFJs I end up being friends with longer. One of my best friends is ENFJ all the ESFJs I've been friends with we've had some sort of falling out. Does it have to do with the N? even though I'm NeFi and ENFJs are FeNi. Is the problem the Si? but than why do I get along with ISFJs and ISTJs? is the Si as the aux that's causing me problems? Because I don't really get along with ESTJs that well either. Any clues?
    by @magpie

  2. #2
    Member Array
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    Nov 2010


    Um. Not a lot to go on, but I would guess a Fe-Fi clash. You irritate their Fe in some way and they come back at you, so there's a fight. ISFJ's withdraw when you irritate them, and since you don't pursue them, there's no fight. The ENFJ's Ni allows her to focus on the long-term friendship and avoid the squabble.

  3. #3
    Certified Sausage Smoker Array Elfboy's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp
    SLI None


    the auxilary is the "parenting" function. hence, Si in ESTJs and ESFJs is more applied towards other people, hence why you (and many people) find ISJs easier to get along with than ESJs

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Retmeishka's Avatar
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    Jan 2011


    I have enjoyed reading about intertype relations in Socionics. Socionics has charts describing the relationships between every single one of the types. - If you click on the links below that chart, it describes each relationship: contrary, supervision, mirror, etc. It is different from any other theory that I've seen before about how the different types get along. Right now I am testing to find out whether their idea of a dual relationship works for me.

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