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  1. #21
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    different people look for different things out of their mates. some NFs prefer the balance that NTs give to their F and have the N there as common way of seeing the world. some NFs prefer clones from themselves as mates who they can live in their own little la la land with etc etc. its just a personal preference, it seems to be pretty common for people to look for qualities that offer balance for them in their mates
    Dude, I'm talking about SPs here. Tell me how an SP is a clone of an NF. My SP husband doesn't understand my la la land in the slightest, while an INTP friend gets it.

    While NF and SP appear to have nothing in common according to Keirsey's temperament matrix; Linda Berens introduced a "cross-factor" that ties them together, and explains what you describe.
    Both are "motive-focused", which basically is a people focus as opposed to task focus. They like to work with others rather than force them into a structure. So yes, they will seem more "fun" to each other than the more serious NT's and SJ's.
    Meanwhile, of course, what you will have in common with the NT's is the iNtuition, and you will differ on T/F (impersonal vs personal and emotional).

    NT's and SJ's will sync more in maintaining structures; though they will disagree as to whether the structures are concrete (organizations, etc) or abstract (plans, ideas).
    Thank you for this insightful answer, Eric B.

  2. #22
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Dude, I'm talking about SPs here. Tell me how an SP is a clone of an NF. My SP husband doesn't understand my la la land in the slightest, while an INTP friend gets it.
    if you tell me first why do you think that i was talking about you and your husband
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  3. #23
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    As a wonky/baby Fi user, Fi comes on strong for me too when it manifests so I understand where you're coming from completely. Think of it this way. How many NTJs or ENTPs like "losing" or walking away? INTPs are naturally passive-aggressive so it's easier for them although one way to push their buttons in return is to erode on or devastate the framework of their arguments.
    hahahah, so true.

    my brother (INTP, e5w4) likes to bait me then walk away, it drives me up a wall. SO hard not to react. but it's hilarious to ignore him, because he gets really antsy if he doesn't get the reaction he's looking for. he'll come back and check on you, annoy you until you react.

    Quote Originally Posted by thealchemist View Post
    I was thinking about this today! My dad is an INTP and my mom an ENFJ. My almost bff is an ENFJ. I suspect that my closest male friend is an NFJ as well. I find it natural to talk to NFJs and NTPs actually (but it's a bit harder to get that close to NTPs sometimes). I suspect the NFJs think I'm a lost soul that needs some direction (their words, not mine) so they take me under their wings.
    lol, i can see that. i balance well with NFJs because i'm curious about their inner selves, which is mysterious to me, and they're curious about my behavior, which is mysterious to them, and you know curiosity kills an N. i suspect we both take joy in "fixing" one another too, even though we find relief in one another at the same time.

    i like NTPs a lot, and having 3 in my close family, i am well acquainted with how much fun NFP-NTP relations can be - but i do connect more solidly/fluidly with NJs. i feel like i'm probably going to end up with an NJ significant other, because there's such an ease of "grounding" and focusing that i feel with many NJs. somehow the interaction feels right.

  4. #24
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    if you tell me first why do you think that i was talking about you and your husband
    Cause I'm the OP and you didn't quote or refer to any other post. So tell me why I would think you were talking about someone else...

  5. #25
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Come to think of it, of all the temperaments, NTs are least common among my friends, but quite common in my dating history. As for female friends, well, female NTs are just less typical. Most of my female buddies are FPs with a few ISFJs.

    I find I have a lot in common with SPs as friends. We often like the same things (art, music, food, culture), but for different reasons. The different reasons part is why I generally don't date them. I agree with the OP though - they get me out of my head, doing stuff, having fun, experiencing life. NTs and I are more likely to sit around discussing, because we can actually talk about things we often don't get to talk about. Otherwise silent INTx types can become quite talkative around me.

    As for guy friends, NFs, especially NFJs, tend to populate my set, with a few SJs tossed in. There's a certain kind of ISTJ guy I get along with well (and a certain kind I don't clique with...).

    However, the NTs I've been closest to were generally romantic interests (Always INTx. I'm not close to any ENTx types; I only know some from a distance, as mutual acquaintances.). We cliqued because we had tons to talk about & the ease of N communication to facilitate that. I suppose our mutual interests are in the intellectual realm, whereas with the SPs its in the tangible world. Of course, NFs feel the most like kindred spirits .
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #26
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    my brother (INTP, e5w4) likes to bait me then walk away, it drives me up a wall. SO hard not to react. but it's hilarious to ignore him, because he gets really antsy if he doesn't get the reaction he's looking for. he'll come back and check on you, annoy you until you react.
    A very consistent INTP fear, the fear of being invisible.

  7. #27
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    it's the flow that i love. the not having to discuss the mechanics
    of 'how we work' but just running off on the energy that we just
    work. awesome. so fun.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  8. #28
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Cause I'm the OP and you didn't quote or refer to any other post. So tell me why I would think you were talking about someone else...
    because they way i used words refers to that i was talking about NF-NT pairings generally.

    how does this for example refer to that i was talking about you in any way:

    "different people look for different things out of their mates."

    seriously wtf
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #29
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    er well i hope you guys don't mind me butting in, but INTP and brainheart, there's this pattern that happens between me and my INTP dad sometimes...

    > TP makes general statement
    > FP applies statement to self, does not find true and/or pleasant
    > FP gets annoyed at TP for statement
    > TP gets annoyed at FP for misinterpretation

    just... that kind of looks like what might have happened here too...

    :blushing:

  10. #30
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    er well i hope you guys don't mind me butting in, but INTP and brainheart, there's this pattern that happens between me and my INTP dad sometimes...

    > TP makes general statement
    > FP applies statement to self, does not find true and/or pleasant
    > FP gets annoyed at TP for statement
    > TP gets annoyed at FP for misinterpretation

    just... that kind of looks like what might have happened here too...

    :blushing:
    i noticed that, and yes its pretty annoying when people fail to read and then start to act like they got some sand in their vagina
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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