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  1. #1
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    Default Type and Reminising

    This question is triggered by a reuinon of sorts that I had recently with some of my close childhood friends. We decided to revisit the old school we used to go to late one night to see if it had changed at all. To me it was very powerful experience, as when I got there I could see vivid memories myself all over the place doing different things, playing games, injuring knees etc. I shared these with my friends who had a mixed reception to my reminising. My closest friend, oddly enough "tested" as a ESTJ (weak S) joined in, along with an ESTP (possible F). Whereas another friend an ISTJ saw this reminising as a pointless exercise, and the others (ISTP's) seemed quite indifferent.

    I'm just interested in what you think in regards to this situation. At the time it struck me as pretty odd, as I can't really see how someone could completely disregard their past in such a manner. I'm all for the "here and now" but surely there is room to see where you have come from? I'll be particularly interested in what the E's and S's think of such activites.

  2. #2
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I find reminiscing and nostalgia a useful tool. That is, I know other people seem to feel it quite powerfully and like to sorta wallow in it from time to time. I don't personally get it... but I just know they enjoy it. So it's a useful thing to use as a bonding tool, something to draw people out, that I know they'll enjoy talking about, even though personally I find it all quite tedious.

    I know that with someone of a certain age I only need to draw an analogy between what they just said or what's currently happening and some aspect of a popular kids' show from the time they were in their formative years, and they'll instantly be engulfed in a sea of nostalgia. They'll then go into depth trying to remember things and listing all the things they remember about it, recalling it and asking if I remember it too. When I say I do, and that I also used to love it, it seems to make them feel closer to me or something. Maybe it makes them less afraid of my eccentricity or whatever, cos they see that deep down in some ways at least, I'm just like them. I'm not sure.

    But whatever the case, when other people start reminiscing, though for the first few minutes I might enjoy the sorta bonding aspect of being in the same "remembering club" as it were, it very soon gets tedious to me. Apart from its current 'use' as a bonding tool, I have no feelings really about the memories. Recalling them doesn't induce in me the state of euphoria it does in others... I don't know why that is either. It's kinda like to me, "Oh! Do you remember...?" and I'm like "Um, yeah... *shrug*" thinking well, since I haven't had a stroke or any other amnesia inducing event, why wouldn't I remember it? Of course I remember it. But why is the fact that I remember it so great?

    I find that it's often a 'papering over' device between people who used to know each other well, used to have a lot in common and do a lot together, but really don't have much to talk about any more besides the past. When you've run out of nostalgia to talk about, there's awkwardness.

    Sometimes when other people are reminiscing, I'm thinking ahead to the awkward silence when they run out of memories to recall, and how I'll steer them through and over that, or avert it by subtly changing the topic of conversation before it runs dry.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I like reminiscing partly because it evokes past emotional states that let me "feel" things... but I think even more importantly it feeds my Big Picture view of my life, because I'm looking for many patterns and the narrative through-line, to see how it all fits together. (Thinking only of the present is like living in one or two dimensions, including the past raises a third.)

    Everything's got to be tied or have some consistency, for me. The past is part of the puzzle.

    Plus... well, it's just fun remembering good experiences with old friends.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Maybe that's why it doesn't affect me Jennifer... I didn't really have much of an emotional investment in 90% of what happened anyway, and whatever involvement I had in it was as a person I wasn't. Detached from both ends from everything that was happening, so y'know, if I didn't feel any great affinity or attachment or anything about it the first time round, I don't the second, third, fourth or fifth times!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I find that it's often a 'papering over' device between people who used to know each other well, used to have a lot in common and do a lot together, but really don't have much to talk about any more besides the past. When you've run out of nostalgia to talk about, there's awkwardness.
    I can see your point here, it is pretty difficult for me to engage in discussion with a group of S's, and i guess I hope by reminising we can sort of remember what we had in common in the first place. Which funnily enough probably was a shared sense of humour and intelligence level rather than just shared interests.

    I guess in the end it's just that old chestnut of childhood friendships. Kids can be friends with anyone really; you've got a bike! you're my friend, you've seen this movie! you're my friend, you know this person! you're my friend etc. Now in early adulthood it has only just dawned on me how different me and my friends really are. They all talk about cars, fishing, and movies when personally I would love to have a philosophical discussion in some form. But I'm pretty desperate to cling to these friendships so I make a concerted effort to participate in these discussions that I know very little about.

    Where do people meet "N"s? I just find it so difficult to find someone who views the world in a "similar" way and my introversion seems to block this process a lot of the time.

  6. #6
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I often reminisce about the good times with my family and old friends. I very very very rarely think about old flames or friends I'm not down with anymore. I am mostly nostalgic for the good memories.

  7. #7
    Senior Member MerkW's Avatar
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    INxPs, in general, tend to enjoy nostalgia the most of all types.
    "The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or the poet's must be beautiful; the ideas like the colours or the words, must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics..." - G.H. Hardy

    "Another roof, another proof." - Paul Erdős

    INTJ (I = 100, N = 100, T = 88, J = 43)
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  8. #8
    Senior Member 6sticks's Avatar
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    I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp. I'd rather do something memorable than remember something I did... I can be nostalgic when I'm dead.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 6sticks View Post
    I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp. I'd rather do something memorable than remember something I did... I can be nostalgic when I'm dead.
    It's not something I do 24/7 but to me it provides perspective. I know I have to switch it off to live my life, but it helps me identify mistakes and not repeat them again. Or to put it optimistically figure out what I did right the first time, and do that again.
    Good Dog Nigel

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    Arfing round the bend.
    Nice dog! Goo boy,
    Waggie tail and beg,
    Clever Nigel, jump for joy
    Because we're putting you to sleep at three of the clock, Nigel. -John Lennon

  10. #10
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    reminiscing is one of my favorite things to do. =) It makes me happy, and bring back good memories.
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