Do Extraverts hate Extraversion?

[Magic Poriferan]

It's pretty widely agreed that Introverts are a disenfranchised minority of society, and as such, there's a great deal of information about the "problem" of Introversion and how to "fix" it.
This actually sinks into the minds of a lot of Introverts, and they become ashamed of themselves, and more admiring of other Extraverts than other Introverts.

Well, I wonder, does this kind of thing ever happen to Extraverts in this out-going society of ours?
I ask all you E's out there:

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

Two additional, somewhat unrelated questions:

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

 

[SillySapienne]

I am a self-hating extrovert who prefers introverts to extroverts on most days and in most regards.

People seem to appreciate my extroversion, coolness, I say.

Talking is fun, writing is better (imo).

Introverts are awesome because they don't often offend your personal space in a public place.

I think it's pretty safe to assume that nobody likes the loud and obnoxious guy/girl, although, except on days where I happen to feel ill, I happen to find them more offensively amusing than emotionally taxing.

 

[substitute]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

Sometimes, yes... some people seem to think that if you're their friend, you should be friends with all their other friends too, and don't seem to respect or comprehend someone's right to choose their own friends. I've had some infuriating 'episodes' with one or two people like that, who've called my lack of desire to socialize with their friends "hurtful" and even seen it as an insult not only to their friends, but to them!!

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

Tendency to speak before thinking sometimes often; easily frustrated by lack of stimulation; tendency to talk the hind legs off the unfortunate person I first accost after a period of enforced silence/inaction; sometimes too quick to confront openly; deliberately kicking over tables so I can watch the chips fly, catch and rearrange them, just to see if I can, just because I'm bored.

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

Most definitely. But it's getting better with the ones here as I think they're learning more about us that challenges their prior conceptions.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

Sometimes - just sometimes it seems there's a sorta double standard, whereby their need for solitude and "me time" is more important and valid than my need for interaction and company - they expect me to respect their need and say I'm annoying if I don't. It feels to me as though I've far more often foregone an introvert's company when I've really needed it in order to respect this need of theirs, than an introvert has foregone their solitude when they needed it in order to keep me company.

In fact in the population in general, not just extraverts, I think there's a general sorta tendency to look down on a person's need for company unless it's at an actual crisis time. Y'know, like if someone's just been bereaved or suffered something awful, people will say it's fair enough that they want some company and put aside their quiet times to comfort them and be with them. But if you just need some company because you're getting frustrated and stuff from lacking people-stimulation (and that can honestly lead an extravert to feel VERY sad, to the point of depression even), you're told you're a big baby and don't need people to "hold your hand". Especially if you're male.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

you're getting frustrated and stuff from lacking people-stimulation (and that can honestly lead an extravert to feel VERY sad, to the point of depression even)

Oh, I'm well aware.
I have an ENFP friend who definitely has that need. For some strange reason though, she always wants to deny it.
Perhaps it is because of this anti-company mentality you speak of?

 

[substitute]

Yeah, there's a definite bias towards an idea that people should be completely independent in Western society. That's why I sometimes get on my soapbox about individualism being a mean ol' bogey and interdependence being a more natural human inclination.

 

[miss fortune]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

I'm annoyed when people who I don't know well insist on hugging me upon seeing me. People who are too friendly straight off the bat- I just don't TRUST them- it's not like I know them or anything so why are they acting like we've known each other for ages?!? :steam:

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

I talk too much, I disclose too much information, I get bored when stuck at home with nobody to talk to, I talk to people in the line at the grociery store and probably drive my customers crazy by keeping up conversation with them the whole time they're in my line, I often get caught up in judging myself based on others and how they see me... several things- I do like being an extrovert though!


Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

I think that I drive some introverts crazy by talking so much and such, but I hope not! A good number of my friends are introverts, as are both of my parents, so I hope that I've learned to tone down the exhuberance some to suit them better!

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

only the ones who I have to DRAG a conversation out of and we're the only 2 people in a room I ask questions that are supposed to be open ended- I'm willing to do more than my part to get a conversation going- yes or no is NOT a sufficient answer! :steam:

 

[nemo]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

First off, I make a distinction between silliness and stupidity. That said, some extroverts can be flamboyantly stupid. That annoys me. I thrive off silliness though.

But in general? No -- nothing really irritates me. It's a person by person thing.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

This is sort of a double-edged sword, but I have a bit of a dependence on external things/people/situations/projects to keep me entertained. On the one hand, it's not always possible to be out romping around with my latest fascination, and if I don't get to play with any of my new toys I get BOOOREEED and want to die. But on the other hand I stay pretty active and involved.

Also, I can be awkward in some social settings. I think NT has something to do with that, though.

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?


Sort of. I think some introverts have the wrong idea about what extroversion is, and associate it with status-conscious, sociable, shallow people with little or no inner lives. Extroverts just direct energy outwards -- sometimes it hits people, sometimes it doesn't. I think many introverts would be surprised how asocial an extrovert can be.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

Nope. I <3 them. I actually think that in general I'm irritated by extroverts more than introverts!

 

[Ezra]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

The loud, obnoxious abrasiveness of them, despite the fact that I often exhibit this behaviour. Hypocritical, but at least I sometimes attempt to tone it down, and I see the benefits of solitude.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

Those I've described above. Besides that, I appreciate everything about myself in terms of Extraversion. I'm not horribly Extraverted; I have an Introverted side too, which is a quality thing to have in my eyes.

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

Partly, but I may just have in mind people who have a problem with my being loud and very talkative as opposed to genuine Introverts. I'm not particularly concerned about what others think of me.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

By no means. My best friend is an Introvert, and I like and respect a great deal those aspects of him which are related to Introversion.

 

[white]

Individually bolded questions are like singly wrapped dark chocolates. Thoughtful.

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

They feed off you, but then project their views from your inputs, vs really listen. Sometimes you feel robbed, like they've stolen your story and merely want you as an audience.

They're nice to everyone. What does that mean really. Who's special or not is hard to tell.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

Too much dependence on external validation and affirmation. Not able to balance sometimes, a healthy sense of self with external expectations. I feel it keenly if I disappoint someone, even if the delivery of the word would've cost me too much.

Inability to say no - poor followthrough as a result.

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

My own sister calls me a bimbo. What do you think.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

Only those with a holier-than-thou, I-spend-more-time-in-reflection-read-more-deep-things ergo I-am-way-superior-than-you attitude.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Individually bolded questions are like singly wrapped dark chocolates. Thoughtful.

Haha. Glad you like them, maddam.

My own sister calls me a bimbo. What do you think?

I think that probably has more to do with sibling dynamics than Introversion to Extraversion.

 

[white]

Haha. Glad you like them, maddam.

I think that probably has more to do with sibling dynamics than Introversion to Extraversion.

Thoughtfulness, yes. Always liked.

Not really, INTPs don't usually lie. I know deep down, most introverts think they're better.


Extraverts just allow them to think that.

 

[TickTock]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

They feed off you, but then project their views from your inputs, vs really listen. Sometimes you feel robbed, like they've stolen your story and merely want you as an audience.

AMEN to that.

 

[proteanmix]

It's pretty widely agreed that Introverts are a disenfranchised minority of society, and as such, there's a great deal of information about the "problem" of Introversion and how to "fix" it.
This actually sinks into the minds of a lot of Introverts, and they become ashamed of themselves, and more admiring of other Extraverts than other Introverts.

FYI: http://www.capt.org/products/examples/20025HO.pdf

Introverts slightly outnumber extroverts according to research done by the Center of Applications of Psychological Type, mostly ISs. This was also echoed by a study in the Journal of Psychological Type. The number of extroverts to introverts is hard to pin down due to the fact the extroversion isn't defined the same by clinical psychologists and MBTI. I think the MBTI definition is more neutral because it suggests where energy flows, either inwardly or outwardly. Also as far as MBTI is concerned, introversion and intuition tends to be conflated as are extroversion and sensing.

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

Sometimes other extroverts just won't shut up. But since I'm an extrovert, I'll try to out talk them to get them to shut up. Yes I know, completely illogical. Sometimes other extroverts don't do the turn taking thing in conversation too well. We'll often talk at the same time and not really hear what the other is saying. The talking thing is the only main problem I have with other extroverts, but it's really not that bad to me. I like talking to people cause it's stimulating. I've learned so much stuff from just talking to people and asking questions, most recently a conversation with a tax lawyer who told me he charges hundreds of dollars per hour for what I got in a 20 minute subway ride. Unfortunately most of what he said went over my head.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

Other extroverts have already mentioned this, but I really have to be around other people interacting. Sitting in my cube all day makes me sleepy and tired. I have to get up and walk around and talk to people once an hour or so. I think better when I'm in groups, brainstorming things. It helps me to solidify my thoughts and figure out what I think and feel about things. Other people jog me into trains of thought I wouldn't come up with on my own and then I develop them further. My best thinking is done out loud with an audience. That kinda sucks because it makes you appear like you can't think on your own or your need other people to feed thoughts to you, but that's not really it.

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

No, not really (to both). Most of my friends are introverts, freaking IPs at that. The only major thing that irritates me when dealing with some of my introverted friends is how homebodyish they are. We'll go out and I'll be back at home by 10 because they're tired and I'm just getting started. Not all of them are like this. Prejudice against me as an extrovert doesn't seem to exist IRL.

aelan said my major beef with introverts:

Only those with a holier-than-thou, I-spend-more-time-in-reflection-read-more-deep-things ergo I-am-way-superior-than-you attitude.

I've thought that this stems from the fact that everything (well not everything) but a lot of what goes on with extroverts is fairly easily observable and people don't recognize that things are also happening behind the scenes as well. I read somewhere that I notice introverts tend to think your vocalized thoughts are final decisions, when that's not always the case. Actually with me you'll probably hear my whole train of thought and I'll sound pretty confusing because I'm talking out what I'm thinking. I was actually told this weekend to talk less and think more. I was thinking when I was talking!

 

[Nocapszy]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

Yes, Extraverted judgement is quite obnoxious.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

No not really. I'm not a huge E. I have no problem dipping down into Ti to support myself, and when necessary, get me, or keep me out of trouble.

Two additional, somewhat unrelated questions:

Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

Not in real life. Unless they know about MBTI, chances are, their issue with me isn't that I'm outgoing and active, but more likely the things I do in that activity and the people I socialize with. Here, I think there might be, and on INTPc Im 100% positive that there is lots of it.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?

Hell the fuck no.
Is are my favorite. They let me do my Eing, and every once in a while chime in with something helpful. How could I complain?

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

Are there aspects of Extraverted behavior in others that really irritate you/put you off?

Not off of the top of my head, no. Extraverts are more likely to say stupid things, but once I realized that they are saying the same things that introverts are thinking I stopped getting annoyed. One of my hobbies is fighting ignorance, and extraverts give me cues toward what that ignorance is.

Are there qualities of Extraversion that you are critical of in yourself?

No, in fact I wish I acted more extraverted sometimes. Because I associate with a lot of introverts I can pick up some of their bad habits. If there was an Extraverts Union then I would have been kicked out a long time ago.


Do you often feel like there is a prejudice against you among Introverts?

I've only seen something like this from IxTx's. I think I frustrate and confuse a lot of them, because they can see I am bright and well educated, so they naturally assume that I am like them. Then when they realize that I'm really an extravert it's like I've sort of betrayed them. A lot of introverted intellectual types think that all extraverts are shallow simpletons by default, so when they encounter an extravert that is as bright (or brighter) than they are it seems to frustrate them.

Would you say Introverts aggravate you a great deal?
The only way I would say this is true is when I'm in a community that is introvert dominated. It's too freakin' quiet and low key. Make some noise already people.

 

[sinnamon]

Sometimes - just sometimes it seems there's a sorta double standard, whereby their need for solitude and "me time" is more important and valid than my need for interaction and company - they expect me to respect their need and say I'm annoying if I don't. It feels to me as though I've far more often foregone an introvert's company when I've really needed it in order to respect this need of theirs, than an introvert has foregone their solitude when they needed it in order to keep me company.

I'm glad you said this. As self-centered as it sounds (big surprise, right?) I'm honestly never thought about this. My ENFJ husband wants to go do things with family & friends lots more often than I do, & we usually don't go because "I just don't feel like being around people right now," and he doesn't want to go without me. I never thought about his needing this as a way to recharge as much as I need my alone time for the same reason. I'll have to put some work into this.

 

[Valiant]

I dare say some things...

I sometimes hate myself when i'm around introverts because I seem to take so much space.

I would never, EVER, get into a relationship with an Extrovert. Oh well, time will tell, but I love introverts and respect their inner thinking.
It has to do with one thing... If you're romantically engaged with someone who is an extrovert, you get the feeling of unsafety, and that everyone shares them. Sounds bad, I know.
But with introverts it's like there's this hidden vastness inside them that they only show to a few loved ones, and once you get in there it's usually quite wondeful and fulfilling. They wouldn't let you inside their heads if they didn't love and respect you. You don't get that with extroverts most of the time, because it seems, like I said, that everyone shares them/us.

 

[sinnamon]

But with introverts it's like there's this hidden vastness inside them that they only show to a few loved ones, and once you get in there it's usually quite wondeful and fulfilling. They wouldn't let you inside their heads if they didn't love and respect you. You don't get that with extroverts most of the time, because it seems, like I said, that everyone shares them/us.

I don't know about all E types, but I know w/my ENFJ husband there is his outer self he shows the world & then there is his private self he shows me. It makes me feel privileged that he reveals his "real" self to me, while the rest of the world gets the "show."

I would think that most extroverts have a public persona and a private one, no?

 

[miss fortune]

I definitley have 2 sides I control my public image very tightly, but don't control my private image very strongly at all! If I trust a person I'm willing to be me with them!

 

[substitute]

I was actually told this weekend to talk less and think more. I was thinking when I was talking!

Yes, I've had that one too: "When you can actually come out with a DECENT idea instead of your usual half-baked nonsense, I'll be prepared to take you seriously!" A criticism often levelled at me by an ISTJ I know. And again, my ISTP father, constantly berating me for not thinking before I speak, completely unwilling to entertain the idea that I was thinking by speaking!!

Ne is a bit of a gnarly one I think, cos it means you're totally engaged with the environment the whole time and thinking, rethinking, thinking again, y'know like every moment is a micro-thought in response to a micro-observation, it's impossible for there ever to be an end to it and any "conclusion" is only arbitrary and by no means fixed... and usually only hazarded at because of pressure from someone else to reach one, or state one, when in fact I'm still thinking. I'm always thinking.