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View Poll Results: Trust first or relationship first?

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26. You may not vote on this poll
  • I'm sure I'm task-oriented, and I begin with trust first, then relationship.

    14 53.85%
  • I'm sure I'm task-oriented, and I DON'T begin with trust first, then relationship.

    1 3.85%
  • I'm sure I'm people-oriented, and I begin with relationship first, then trust.

    5 19.23%
  • I'm sure I'm people-oriented, and I DON'T begin with relationship first, then trust.

    2 7.69%
  • I might be task-oriented, and I begin with trust first, then relationship.

    0 0%
  • I might be task-oriented, and I DON'T begin with trust first, then relationship.

    0 0%
  • I might be people-oriented, and I begin with relationship first, then trust.

    2 7.69%
  • I might be people-oriented, and I DON'T begin with relationship first, then trust.

    0 0%
  • I am so tempted to try and skew your results.

    2 7.69%
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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Question trust first, relationship first ?

    I heard something new. It made a lot of sense, and I was just wondering how true people here thought it might be for themselves. This is from DISC theory.

    I have two sets of questions since some people are unsure or not positive of their type.
    If you're 90% + sure of your type, you can answer in the I'm sure category.
    That's enough guidance.


    Premise:
    NTs and NFs are task-oriented.
    SJs and SPs are people-oriented.

    This is the point in question:
    Theory:
    Task-oriented people begin with trust first, and then build a relationship.
    People-oriented people begin with a relationship first, and then build trust.


    This is very true for me, and I was just wondering if there was a large majority of people here who could also say it is true for themselves.

    Edited to add:
    There is disagreement about the correctness of the premise. Be that as it may, I still find it interesting to know that:
    Some people need trust first, and some people need relationship first.
    Last edited by INTJMom; 02-25-2008 at 02:53 PM.

  2. #2
    Procrastinating
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    I'm sure I'm task-oriented, and I begin with trust first, then relationship.

    Although, I must say that some degree of "relationship" is required for a comfortable degree of trust... circular I know but observation can only accomplish so much.

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Premise:
    NTs and NFs are task-oriented.
    SJs and SPs are people-oriented.
    I'm not sure why these distinctions were chosen, do you have more info on why?

    It's more likely that T's are task-oriented and F's are people-oriented. (That distinction shows up a LOT.)

    SJs also can be very task-oriented. It's the Fe/Te predominating. Fe is personal but is also distanced a bit from "intimate" (like Fi is), so it can result in being task-oriented in appearance. (I.e., they like doing things that are helpful to others, but ISJs don't necessarily like to interact with others directly to help them).
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    My ENTP friend once told me he has a high level of trust, which seems to fit the model. He's definitely task-oriented.

    Jae Rae
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  5. #5
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm not sure why these distinctions were chosen, do you have more info on why?

    It's more likely that T's are task-oriented and F's are people-oriented. (That distinction shows up a LOT.)

    SJs also can be very task-oriented. It's the Fe/Te predominating. Fe is personal but is also distanced a bit from "intimate" (like Fi is), so it can result in being task-oriented in appearance. (I.e., they like doing things that are helpful to others, but ISJs don't necessarily like to interact with others directly to help them).
    Well, I agree with you. I have learned the same thing. I have the same questions, so I was just wondering how true it really was.

    Here's some more info on the DISC types

    Active/Task -oriented - NT
    "D" - Dominating,
    Directing, Demanding,
    Determined, Decisive, Doing.
    Basic Motivation: Challenge & Control

    Passive/Task -oriented - NF
    "C" - Cautious,
    Competent, Calculating,
    Compliant, Careful,
    Contemplative.
    Basic Motivation: Quality & Correctness

    Active/People -oriented - SP
    "I" - Inspiring,
    Influencing, Inducing,
    Impressing, Interactive,
    Interested in people.
    Basic Motivation: Recognition & Approval

    Passive/People -oriented - SJ
    "S" - Steady,
    Stable, Shy,
    Security-oriented,
    Servant, Submissive,
    Specialist
    Basic Motivation: Stability & Support


    Additionally, equivalences were made to the LaHaye (since I noticed you mentioned them once) types, and I translated them into MBTT types.
    (Choleric) D-type, (Sanguine) I-type, (Phlegmatic) S-type, and (Melancholy) C-type.
    (Note: Keirsey is wrong.)

  6. #6
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Premise:
    NTs and NFs are task-oriented.
    SJs and SPs are people-oriented.
    i'm ridiculously people-oriented. i suck at tasks.

    i'm people oriented, and i trust everyone first. relationships come way later.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Kaleidoscope's Avatar
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    I am going to question the source of this information and the conclusions they came to. I am INFP and I know many other INFPs and all of them, including myself, would fit better in the "S" category than the "C" category. One of the reasons we are INFP is because of our ability to understand people so well and, while we can be task-oriented when we want to be or when it is important to us, it's the people side of us that truly make us INFP, rather than some other type (it's why possible careers for INFPs list counseling instead of accounting).

    However, as for the actual poll, I think it's a little off as well. While I require trust to form a serious relationship, I also require some sort of a relationship before I start developing some trust. I certainly won't pour my heart out on the first date, but I also won't get in a serious relationship without having a lot of trust. So is this asking me about serious relationships? One-time flings? Just general? I really can't give a real answer with what little I was given. It needs to be more specific for me otherwise I think too much into it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Premise:
    NTs and NFs are task-oriented.
    SJs and SPs are people-oriented.
    I'm NF and certainly people oriented.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaleidoscope View Post
    I am going to question the source of this information and the conclusions they came to. I am INFP and I know many other INFPs and all of them, including myself, would fit better in the "S" category than the "C" category. One of the reasons we are INFP is because of our ability to understand people so well and, while we can be task-oriented when we want to be or when it is important to us, it's the people side of us that truly make us INFP, rather than some other type (it's why possible careers for INFPs list counseling instead of accounting).

    However, as for the actual poll, I think it's a little off as well. While I require trust to form a serious relationship, I also require some sort of a relationship before I start developing some trust. I certainly won't pour my heart out on the first date, but I also won't get in a serious relationship without having a lot of trust. So is this asking me about serious relationships? One-time flings? Just general? I really can't give a real answer with what little I was given. It needs to be more specific for me otherwise I think too much into it.
    Welcome to the forum. I like your avatar.

    Looking at the S description, it is kind of vague. I have studied the Basic Four profiles quite a bit. As a matter of fact, I knew about the basic four long before I had heard of MBTT. Sorry for the lame description, but in my opinion NF is most accurately portrayed as the "C" type. It's just not as obvious when you're looking at those descriptions. Also, they are lumping all NFs into one category and we all know how different INFP, ENFP, INFJ AND ENFJ can really be from each other. Sorry, it's not as precise as you would like.

    Just think of the question concerning a relationship where trust is eventually helpful or required: business partner, doctor/patient, teacher/student, employer/employee, acquaintance/close friend, etc.

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