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  1. #1
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Default Why is 'Small Talk' associated with S Types?

    Just a question that I have asked myself a few times. It appears that any 2 human beings, in order to establish some kind of foundation have to feel each other out. That's where 'small talk' comes in.

    As much as it irks me, talking about the obvious- like the rain that's got both of you wet, is not only the easiest, but it's all you have to go on until you have something else. Really, isn't it what you do with that opener to determine what's next?

  2. #2
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    it shouldn't be, but somehow everyone blames annoying trivial things on S types.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    What about asking off the bat what are your goals for the next 5 to 10 years and where do you stand on politics, sexuality and the economy? That's the kind of small talk I'd like to start with. I get a bit lost for words when convos start with hows the weather, what did you do today, hows travel etc.

  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    What about asking off the bat what are your goals for the next 5 to 10 years and where do you stand on politics, sexuality and the economy? That's the kind of small talk I'd like to start with. I get a bit lost for words when convos start with hows the weather, what did you do today, hows travel etc.
    Seriously you're going to get that deep? Doesn't that have it's place with someone you know better? Let's say you're in a waiting room- you'd go that far?
    Don't you think you can take the conversation the way you want with your response to 'what did you do today?'

  5. #5
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it escapes me sometimes. I just look at people with a puzzled expression not sure what to ask, can't over do it and yet if I don't say anything it gets awkward. I suppose I can start with what music and film are you into, that at least is less confronting. hahah when I asked the goals bit even with friends in my social circle they were at a loss to say and reversed the question onto me and I was happy to answer but they still didn't. pfft.

  6. #6
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    Unfortunately it escapes me sometimes. I just look at people with a puzzled expression not sure what to ask, can't over do it and yet if I don't say anything it gets awkward. I suppose I can start with what music and film are you into, that at least is less confronting. hahah when I asked the goals bit even with friends in my social circle they were at a loss to say and reversed the question onto me and I was happy to answer but they still didn't. pfft.
    I guess people have their guard up, more or less, until you're worthy of knowing more information, or you'll be receptive to more questions.

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    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I have trouble talking in situation conversations, they say you can generally tell what to ask from what people say as a carry on of the conversation. Well the obvious escapes me and I don't want to ask from the conversation to carry the conversation. I want to ask what I'm interested in knowing about them rather than the situational stuff.

    Say if a person started saying they had to go get something for their cold I wouldn't ask what did you get but I would ask what is your health like, discuss your medical conditions with me.

    I know its too much so I don't really say whats on my mind and try to break it down so its less demanding or rather say nothing much, probably go with nice clothes and wouldn't know how to say, where did you get them from in real time, totally doesn't occur to me.

  8. #8
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I suppose the small talk gets associated with S's because they tend to notice the details of their day better so as to actually have something that isn't 'deep' to ask when confronted with a new situation, that requires small talk. It is a stereotype though, I agree.

  9. #9
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    The majority of people make small talk to a degree - though I find INTs claim to despise it the most - but I think the stereotype is that Ss are more satisfied spending large chunks of their time this way, where as Ns either want to move on to another topic or get the hell away from the person who keeps making chit chat.
    Likes chubber liked this post

  10. #10
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I guess people have their guard up, more or less, until you're worthy of knowing more information, or you'll be receptive to more questions.
    Yeah I know, my small talk ability tends to be a bit random sometimes, were I good at small talk I would have stayed in sales.

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