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  1. #11
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    ^ I guess randomness can freak somebody out if they aren't expecting it.

  2. #12
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    Yeah, I used to spend a lot of time talking to an ISJ and occasionally he'd just go, "What the hell are you talking about?"

  3. #13
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    There's a lot of small talk going on on this board. Not about the weather (some are) but people chime in.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    idk. i don't mind small talk. sometimes i start small talk.

    i mean honestly i might be an N-dom but i don't want to discuss theoretical physics with just whatever random person on the street. or religion. ugh. where i live i'd just get looks like i'm crazy and a lecture on loving the lord

  5. #15
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    I think all Fs - even NFs, and probably especially ENFs - make more small talk as a means of trying to connect with others.

    But I can tell you I get annoyed and try to get away real fast if a random acquaintence keeps going on and on about nothing.

  6. #16
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    ^ Yeah, social niceties are what occur most on this forum. Talk is usually limited by the fact that no one truly knows another person. I consider most of this small talk. However, in disagreement with myself I also see that we aren't always trying to get to know someone, but understand a general concept so that we can begin to know how to know someone. We can avoid small talk because we aren't trying to get personal, just flesh out the different facets of personality theories, or psychology in general.

  7. #17
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    My ENFP sister could converse with a rock if she had to.

  8. #18
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    Yeah ENFPs are good at talking at people, we don't even require a response. Thing is you might notice that it'll shift into a rant about politics or relationships or something real fast.

  9. #19
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    truth

  10. #20
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    What about asking off the bat what are your goals for the next 5 to 10 years and where do you stand on politics, sexuality and the economy? That's the kind of small talk I'd like to start with. I get a bit lost for words when convos start with hows the weather, what did you do today, hows travel etc.
    Oh, man. Check, please! I would feel so put on the spot. I think you have to feel people out for what their actual interests are. If I were stuck at a table with someone I didn't know, and they were pumping me for opinions on controversial subjects or mining me for personal information, I would want to leave as soon as possible. I tend to look for clues as to the person's actual interests. Are they carrying a book or magazine? What are they wearing? What are they talking to others about? Sometimes small talk is the bridge to get to the actual areas of interest.

    Now, I do hate a big ole 30 minute conversation that never moves on from small talk. When that happens, I'd much, much rather excuse myself and play with my phone or read a magazine. The conversation becomes work, with no real payoff.

    I also don't get really deep with people I just met. It's too much of an energy drain unless there's an immediate connection. If we end up spending more time together, then I'll go deeper as I feel comfortable. I'm an sp, though.
    Something Witty

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