Adapting subconsciously to one's environment

[Ezra]

I've noticed that I do this often. Depending on the environment I'm in, different characteristics inherent within me will make an appearance. I've two instances to describe this. One is around one of my best friends. He's an erratic, fun-loving, amusing guy, full of ideas. An ENFP (and an IEE in socionics) 7w6 sx-first. He often almost passes over some of his tense energy to me. He'll ask me to do something, and I'll do it, and then he'll ask me to do something else. He thinks I want to join in his fun and games, so he'll quicken the pace for all those around him. I don't like it, and I feel more pumped when he leaves my presence; I recognise the change within me and begin to calm down once he's left.

Another is on the16types.info. I find that each of the forums I post on has a unique aura or atmosphere. I enjoy this one, because there's some really mature and intelligent discussion that goes on. I find I can actively participate without feeling like I have to be on guard from individuals. This atmosphere is actually the best in my eyes, even though I've only been posting for a month or two. It's relaxed but encourages open discussion and debate. On t16t, there are quite a few individuals who take delight in attacking others. It's a lot more hostile as an environment, and there's more tension. In this atmosphere, I myself become much more aggressive and on guard. I begin to join in on some of the attacks, and take on an almost sadistic approach to the forum.

Does anyone else feel this way in their own environments?

Do you think it's type related?

 

[misha vainberg]

I also adapt to the personalities of people im with. my istp best friend and i go back forever, but we dont engage in the deep philosophical and emotional kinds of interaction that i really desire sometimes. we have more down-to-earth discussions, and he is good at keeping me grounded with my choices. talking things out with him gives me good practical insight into my problems. we have also shared so many expereiences that i sometimes feel we connect at a deeper level even without talking expressing it.

another old friend, an entp, is very flaky at times, doesnt have any idea how to keep his shit together, but can be a very enjoyable person to spend time with. our conversations are erratic and very stimulating, and can get very deep, completely different from those with my istp friend.

my third best friend, who havent known as long but still for a few years, i would type as ixfp. hard to tell which. i feel i form the deepest connection with him. we have a lot of fun building creative plans and ideas together, which leads me to think he leans toward N.

among my two N friends i am less practically inclined and more freely expressive of my ideas, and get caught up in how i would like things to be rather than how they are. while this is most enjoyable for me a lot of the time, it can get in the way when i actualy have to get things done in my life. being with my more practical friend, i automatically take a more reality-based approach to life.

 

[INTJMom]

I've noticed that I do this often. Depending on the environment I'm in, different characteristics inherent within me will make an appearance. I've two instances to describe this. One is around one of my best friends. He's an erratic, fun-loving, amusing guy, full of ideas. An ENFP (and an IEE in socionics) 7w6 sx-first. He often almost passes over some of his tense energy to me. He'll ask me to do something, and I'll do it, and then he'll ask me to do something else. He thinks I want to join in his fun and games, so he'll quicken the pace for all those around him. I don't like it, and I feel more pumped when he leaves my presence; I recognise the change within me and begin to calm down once he's left.

Another is on the16types.info. I find that each of the forums I post on has a unique aura or atmosphere. I enjoy this one, because there's some really mature and intelligent discussion that goes on. I find I can actively participate without feeling like I have to be on guard from individuals. This atmosphere is actually the best in my eyes, even though I've only been posting for a month or two. It's relaxed but encourages open discussion and debate. On t16t, there are quite a few individuals who take delight in attacking others. It's a lot more hostile as an environment, and there's more tension. In this atmosphere, I myself become much more aggressive and on guard. I begin to join in on some of the attacks, and take on an almost sadistic approach to the forum.

Does anyone else feel this way in their own environments?

Do you think it's type related?

Yes, I believe it's type related.

I have read over at the INTJ forum that a lot of INTJ sort of adapt themselves to the people or situation around them. Not sure if I could find the thread again.

I know I do this also. If someone speaks quietly to me, I will respond to them in the same way. If they're loud and boisterous, I will be loud and boisterous.

 

[Totenkindly]

It sounds like a "mirroring" function. Some types might be more inclined to mirror others than other types. Perhaps that's worth some evaluation.

For my own personal experience, I became aware at some point that I am very reactive to others.

To start with, I usually respond to (rather than initiate) the conversation.

If someone takes a calm considered tone and flexes in conversation, I approach things the same way.

If someone jokes and flits around, I go into Ne mode and respond the same way.

If someone comes out very aggressive and pushes hard on people, if I bother to respond at all, I come out just as hard and push back just as hard.

If someone is very serious and somber, I usually reflect that back to them.

Part of it is uncertainty over how to relate with me as the initiator (because if I initiate or change the tone, I don't know how it will be perceived);

part of it a desire to accommodate others and communicate in the most effective way with them;

and part of it is an inherent need for balance -- I present an opposing force equal to what they have presented, to return the conversation to some sort of equilibrium.

I'm not sure if it's totally type related (maybe the "balance" thing is), but it's definitely one of the standardized "relational" patterns for human beings. People who mirror generally don't like conflict or are afraid of being the initiator and disrupting others / losing their support and interaction, so they trying to "sync up" with whomever they are around, to keep the connection.

 

[nightning]

Mirroring and self monitoring tendencies?

People who want to get along with others tends to do that more often. I'm not sure whether that's type dependent, I suspect there's no direct relationship between the two.

I'm a chameleon of sorts myself. Adapting is pretty much how I fit into different environments. Something like different preset modes for general stuff in which I modify to fit that particular situation. Besides mirroring though, sometimes I change my demeanor to modulate the tone of the interaction. Keeping things under control I suppose... harmony.

 

[Ezra]

People who want to get along with others tends to do that more often.

In my case, this is not how it is. I automatically do it on a subconscious level. I would never attempt to get along with others unless there was a good reason for it (i.e. one better than 'I want more friends' or the like).

 

[Totenkindly]

In my case, this is not how it is. I automatically do it on a subconscious level. I would never attempt to get along with others unless there was a good reason for it (i.e. one better than 'I want more friends' or the like).

If we include the concept of communication or "speaking in the other person's professed language" as part of "getting along," would your stance change?

Mirroring primarily is a way to relieve anxiety when one is unsure of how to communicate. Basically: Look around/observe, and instantaneously adjust behavior to not cause friction or at least to better sync with the behavior/communication around you.

 

[INTJMom]

It wasn't too hard to find after all

Here's that thread I told you about where INTJs were talking about how they "adapt" themselves to their surroundings. I know you're not an INTJ, but I thought you might gain some insight from it all the same.

Are INTJs chameleons? - INTJ Forum

 

[Randomnity]

Doesn't everyone adapt to their environment, at least to a degree? That's part of social skills, isn't it? I guess some types might be better at it/more severely adapting though.

I do it a lot, anyway. Observe first, then act.

 

[Night]

I suspect adaptation might mean realization of susceptibility - when one understands potential obstacles and consciously works to bridge them with a learned behavior, it could be argued that one is "adapting" as to prevent failure of some sort.

This ideal probably is not exclusive to type and could instead be a shared instinctual feature we all possess. Heritage is likely owed to the necessity of communal cooperation as a bygone tactic to increase probability of survival in our ancestors.

As our brains matured and civilization settled, it seems probable to assume this inherent impulse naturally morphed into different strategies appropriate to cultural context.

I'd offer our current cache of emotions as evidence of a "universal" system of sophisticated adaptation techniques used as to bulwark ourselves from environmental hazards.

 

[The Ü™]

Are we talking about adaptability in terms of social interaction or physical changes in the environment? Either way, I'll offer my perspective.

I tend to follow the rules that I know so that I don't get in trouble in formal situations, but I often work my way around the rules that are not explicitly stated so that I can get away with shocking others. Of course, I also get into trouble for doing that which isn't explicitly stated in writing. So I tend to break morés.

In terms of my general environment, I need structure, control, and predictability. I do not like sudden changes, although I find I am able to adapt to them within a reasonable amount of time.

However, I am not a good self-starter, because I get addicted to the control I gain from having structure. That and I am addicted to the computer and the Internet. Any thoughts of actual changes I have hardly ever go beyond the conceptual stages because (A) I am either impatient with the details of making them a reality or (B) I give up on it because I get stuck in the details.

Personally, the description of the INTJ in Type Talk nails me in the head, especially since it recognizes that INTJs are often underachievers and not always good workers.

 

[Night]

Are we talking about adaptability in terms of social interaction or physical changes in the environment? Either way, I'll offer my perspective.

I'd imagine both require a similar repertoire to successfully navigate.

Either way, I like your assessments.

 

[Ezra]

If we include the concept of communication or "speaking in the other person's professed language" as part of "getting along," would your stance change?

Good point. I have an ENFP friend, who is heavily interested in seeing others' point of view, which I am particularly poor at doing. So now, when he says something about seeing his point of view, I say "fair enough; I respect that".

Here's that thread I told you about where INTJs were talking about how they "adapt" themselves to their surroundings. I know you're not an INTJ, but I thought you might gain some insight from it all the same.

Are INTJs chameleons? - INTJ Forum

That's interesting. Nonetheless, this INTJ claims he adapted to be hard-nosed, serious and hardworking; I thought these were characteristic of INTJs anyway.

 

[alcea rosea]

Doesn't everyone adapt to their environment, at least to a degree? That's part of social skills, isn't it? I guess some types might be better at it/more severely adapting though.

Yes, I agree 100% to this. Everybody does it no matter what their type is.

 

[INTJMom]

...
That's interesting. Nonetheless, this INTJ claims he adapted to be hard-nosed, serious and hardworking; I thought these were characteristic of INTJs anyway.

I thought you might skim through the whole thread, not just read the first post. A lot of other INTJs responded and added insight to the topic.

Like your new avatar.
Is that Patton?

 

[INTJMom]

Yes, I agree 100% to this. Everybody does it no matter what their type is.

INTJs adapt in a certain way that is different from other types, and it's more difficult for them to do than for other types.

Not only that, but I had a run in with a salesman once that I will never forget though it was 27 years ago. He was the most unpleasant human being I have ever had to do business with in my life. He was LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD. I sure wish he would have adapted himself to us, and turned down his volume. The volume of his voice actually hurt my ears.

Not everyone adapts.

 

[Ezra]

I thought you might skim through the whole thread, not just read the first post. A lot of other INTJs responded and added insight to the topic.

I'm surprised. One person said that they can adapt on a whim. I would expect this to be far more attributable to a Perceiving type. Seems you learn things all the time.

Like your new avatar.
Is that Patton?

No, it's Erwin Rommel. (He does make an appearance in the 1970 film Patton, apparently.) I briefly read about him and found him to be an admirable character. For example, when he was asked by Hitler to carry out certain procedures on captured Jews, he essentially refused. Fantastic military figure.

 

[alcea rosea]

Not everyone adapts.

I correct my writings. Most of people adapt their behavior according to other people.

I do it a lot, the adaptation.

 

[The Ü™]

That's interesting. Nonetheless, this INTJ claims he adapted to be hard-nosed, serious and hardworking; I thought these were characteristic of INTJs anyway.

Well, I think any type can be either hardworking or lazy, but the difference is that Js are more focused and structured while Ps are more spontaneous and open-minded. But that doesn't necessarily mean either is organized or disorganized in their physical surroundings (which actually seems more S, since they are more dependent on their surroundings), but rather the kind of lifestyle they prefer.

And Js and Ps can both be procrastinators -- Js procrastinate in the wake of loosening up, opening up to new experiences, and letting go of their obsessions. Likewise, Ps procrastinate in the wake of becoming more focused on one thing. However, the traits of J can sometimes hint at being more successful in work, but not necessarily. For most people, being hardworking only works if you're interested in the subject.

Which brings us to what S and N procrastinate about. The S procrastinates in tasks that involve fanciful thinking, the N procrastinates in the wake of practical sensory-oriented tasks.

But I think laziness in anyone comes from a lack of motivation (and this is often due to depression), and this is sometimes a part of life. And an unmotivated J is at risk of becoming a creature of habit. On the other hand, an unmotivated P could become a mindless pleasure seeker. And it's hard for either of these types to get out of their respective ruts.

 

[Ezra]

And Js and Ps can both be procrastinators -- Js procrastinate in the wake of loosening up, opening up to new experiences, and letting go of their obsessions. Likewise, Ps procrastinate in the wake of becoming more focused on one thing. However, the traits of J can sometimes hint at being more successful in work, but not necessarily. For most people, being hardworking only works if you're interested in the subject.

Which brings us to what S and N procrastinate about. The S procrastinates in tasks that involve fanciful thinking, the N procrastinates in the wake of practical sensory-oriented tasks.

I wouldn't call it procrastination. I'd call it more of a stubborness; an unwillingness to let go of one's habits and traits which may impact negatively upon the individual.

But I think laziness in anyone comes from a lack of motivation (and this is often due to depression), and this is sometimes a part of life. And an unmotivated J is at risk of becoming a creature of habit. On the other hand, an unmotivated P could become a mindless pleasure seeker. And it's hard for either of these types to get out of their respective ruts.

This is a good point.