BTW - great thread, Jen. Limey is one of my favorite people and would likely be one of my closest RL friends.
Are you sure about that?
Seriously though when I first saw Ivy at INTPc I thought she might have been a friend of mine irl (same name and lives in NC) but then I realized that my friend would never hang out on a forum never mind a psychological one. At that time I thought to myself that we'd eventually become friends so I stalked her and now we are bff's. It's true! And to think all along Ivy had no clue what I was up too.
I've never really had a problem with INTJ's. They are actually a lot more warm than they first appear and are fairly reasonable most of the time.
ENTJ's are another story. Mature ones are great, but the immature ones come in and try to take charge of things even when they have no idea what they are doing. That annoys the hell out of me.
I agree Liquid - I have a friend who's INTJ. I wouldn't call her warm, but she's kind and involved with her kids. She can be a good hostess, but she doesn't seem to need close friendships, her family fulfills most of her social needs. She's funny, intelligent, thoughtful and well-informed about many subjects, including pop culture. I'd enjoy being better friends with her, but she's pretty self-contained.
I'm not friends with any ENTJs, but I know a guy who's most probably one - he's a smart, articulate raconteur. Some friends and I tried to get together a dinner party with him, but he never responded to my emails. A few months later I saw him at a mutual friend's house. I asked if he'd gotten my emails about the dinner party. He got right into my face and said in a very nasty tone of voice "I've been busy."
I really like INTJ's actually, although I wouldn't want to be one (because most other people dislike them).
They can be very blunt, even weird in some of the things they say, but once they show you the "key" to that Fi-ish perspective they have, you'll go back over everything they've ever done or said, and you'll see little hints of their feelings at almost every turn. You'll really never see them quite the same way again. It's like a "Twilight Zone" episode. The weirdest part is that once I see it, I perceive most of they say as being fairly nice, even if it would be considered blunt/rude by most people... because their intentions are usually a lot nicer than how their communication comes across, although they don't like to admit this for fear of looking weak/incompetent. I would say that if they did do anything cruel, I think it would probably be because it didn't quite "hit home" for them in such a way that they understood the severity of it.