Can knowing your "type" help you manage stress?

[Alchemilla]

I've been thinking a lot about stress lately. Partly because I have a lot of it: personality types aside, I'm 23 and I've been struggling with a severe illness for the last 13 years and counting; I've been housebound for almost all of that time, sometimes bedbound, and very, very isolated.

It's frustrating, especially because my desires for a social life, a job, an education and to move out are still very much intact.

A lot of my stress comes from living at home with a family who are very different than I am, and living with my parents means I have even less control over my life than I already do. Moving out will be a massive step for me, but until then I want to know if or how knowing about your personality type can help you manage stress.

I'm not entirely sure I am in the INFJ category (my health and lack of experiences get in the way of knowing my true preferences) but it seems to fit. If I'm an INFJ then I'm an INFJ with a deeply rationalist bent.

I'm going to make a second version of this thread specifically for INFJ types (if a similar one doesn't already exist) but for now I want to put this here so I can get the widest range of opinions and perspectives as possible. I'll appreciate any replies a lot! I know you probably won't be able to comment much on my situation, but don't worry about that: I want to know YOUR experiences on this. Thanks for your time

(Also, as I'm new to this can you explain or keep any jargon down to a minimum? I'm uninitiated and don't know what all the "Se" "Ne" references mean yet!)

 

[Kasper]

Understanding your stress, what causes it, what subdues it and so on can help, understanding your type (and Enneagram) can sometimes give some specific questions or answers that help narrow that down as well as some ideas on how to avoid becoming too stressed, it does depend on the individual though. If other people are the cause of what stresses you than understanding their type can also help. Basically it's a tool that may help.

Btw, INFJs already have a "rationalist bent".

This link my be of help: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...nality-matrices/29028-form-inferior-injs.html

 

[highlander]

This link my be of help: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...nality-matrices/29028-form-inferior-injs.html

I second that. Read this which is mentioned in the first line of the OP in the thread:
Naomi Quenk's book "Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality"

 

[skylights]

things like "Se" and "Ne" are shorthand for extraverted Sensing and extraverted iNtuition (which, just in case you don't already know, are the cognitive functions that some theorists believe correspond to type - more here)

i think that knowing your type can help you look at potential areas of weakness, and reasons for them you haven't considered before, which can then help you manage stress. it can also help you capitalize on your strengths! and i think there's a certain peace of mind that comes from understanding how you are, and accepting that... i still want to be the best ENFP that i can be but it's easier now to stop trying so hard to be an ENFJ, and knowing the ins and outs of my type can suggest some strategies for how i can be more J-like in a way that runs more in tandem with my personality.

for me, in particular, learning more about Fi (introverted Feeling) and about Fi/Fe conflicts has helped me with dealing with social anxiety.

 

[Thalassa]

Yes. It helps tremendously, especially the thought that I'm ENFP explains sooooo much. I'm happy to know that if I don't grow up to be an SJ that doesn't mean something is wrong with me, and if I don't grow up to be an NT, that doesn't mean I'm dumb.

That's a great stress reliever by itself.

 

[rav3n]

If you have a chance, stalk cascadeco and fidelia's posts and see if they resonate with you. Both are intelligent INFJs.

+3 for Kasper's suggested link/read!

 

[wildcat]

I've been thinking a lot about stress lately. Partly because I have a lot of it: personality types aside, I'm 23 and I've been struggling with a severe illness for the last 13 years and counting; I've been housebound for almost all of that time, sometimes bedbound, and very, very isolated.

It's frustrating, especially because my desires for a social life, a job, an education and to move out are still very much intact.

A lot of my stress comes from living at home with a family who are very different than I am, and living with my parents means I have even less control over my life than I already do. Moving out will be a massive step for me, but until then I want to know if or how knowing about your personality type can help you manage stress.

I'm not entirely sure I am in the INFJ category (my health and lack of experiences get in the way of knowing my true preferences) but it seems to fit. If I'm an INFJ then I'm an INFJ with a deeply rationalist bent.

I'm going to make a second version of this thread specifically for INFJ types (if a similar one doesn't already exist) but for now I want to put this here so I can get the widest range of opinions and perspectives as possible. I'll appreciate any replies a lot! I know you probably won't be able to comment much on my situation, but don't worry about that: I want to know YOUR experiences on this. Thanks for your time

(Also, as I'm new to this can you explain or keep any jargon down to a minimum? I'm uninitiated and don't know what all the "Se" "Ne" references mean yet!)

You are a brave lass.
Can knowing your type help you manage stress?
Very much so.

I found typology, and therefore my type, when I was bedbound. It is 25 years hence.
A friend had bought me an open book with empty pages to fill, and pens.

Typology helps you to make the decisions you have to make. Because finally you are able to see yourself from outside.
Good and evil are not rational terms.
Difference is.








.

 

[Amethyst]

To answer your question, it can help a lot as to how someone can manage stress, as some people just 'work' differently than others, and one thing that stresses one person out may not necessarily stress another.

That's how I sort of ended up on this site, I think. I just wanted to learn about all of this and how to deal with things and how others deal with things and differences, etc.

I can't really pinpoint a particular experience where typology has helped me try and understand the viewpoints of others where at times I just couldn't, and times where I was stressed and I wasn't sure why or what would fix it, or why everyone else was stressed except me, etc.

And if you haven't yet...click on that link up there...good stuff.

 

[wolfy]

The process of self reflection that is needed on deciding on your type can help with stress and it's causes.

 

[SilkRoad]

Learning that I was INFJ at least told me that I wasn't totally insane for becoming physically ill when stressed, and that it was an all-too-common experience.

I still have a really hard time managing stress, unfortunately. I wish I was getting better at it. Maybe I am a tiny bit...I think age and experience has contributed more to that than type, though.

A lot of my stress management just involves telling myself "this will pass" a lot, and just praying to really take that good thought to heart.

 

[Mouse Army]

I think knowing your type can help a lot! This New Years I sat down and tried to figure out why last year had been so stressful and horrible despite finding a job, finishing projects, getting "prettier" through clothes and a haircut, etc. I found that I hadn't been nourishing my INFP self and had, in fact, been spending a lot of time talking down to myself and hiding my feelings from people. I wasn't doing anything to nourish my strengths/interests (spirituality, giving back, private reflection time, art). So maybe reading about the strengths of your type will help you realize what's missing in your life that would make you happier and more relaxed. Similarly, you can work on reducing the weaknesses that may make you more stressed out.

Yes. It helps tremendously, especially the thought that I'm ENFP explains sooooo much. I'm happy to know that if I don't grow up to be an SJ that doesn't mean something is wrong with me, and if I don't grow up to be an NT, that doesn't mean I'm dumb.

That's a great stress reliever by itself.

This resonates hugely with me! Coming to embrace my personality is a long process, but I know it will be harder to be a stressed out mess if I am content within my own self.

 

[Alchemilla]

Thanks for all the replies. I've been doing a little bit more reading on personality type theory (I find it difficult keeping track of the letters and jargon - dyslexia!) and it's highlighted so many things about myself that I've taken for granted and just struggled with. For example, I feel other people's feelings as if they are my own. And I'm too nice! It gets on my nerves, as if I'm constantly giving my power away even when I'm not. Hah.

I don't know if I'm an INFJ or an INFP, but that seems like a pretty common doubt from what I've read.

Understanding your stress, what causes it, what subdues it and so on can help, understanding your type (and Enneagram) can sometimes give some specific questions or answers that help narrow that down as well as some ideas on how to avoid becoming too stressed, it does depend on the individual though. If other people are the cause of what stresses you than understanding their type can also help. Basically it's a tool that may help.

Btw, INFJs already have a "rationalist bent".

This link my be of help: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...nality-matrices/29028-form-inferior-injs.html

Thank you, I'll take a look at it! When I read the type descriptions, I saw red flags waving over my areas of stress. It's a good highlighter and certainly makes me feel validated, and more accepting of myself too.

I thought I was weak or "wrong" to feel the way I do, or to feel as much as I do.

Yes. It helps tremendously, especially the thought that I'm ENFP explains sooooo much. I'm happy to know that if I don't grow up to be an SJ that doesn't mean something is wrong with me, and if I don't grow up to be an NT, that doesn't mean I'm dumb.

That's a great stress reliever by itself.

Yes! I agree. It's funny but one of the descriptions mentioned that INF types often wish they were "SP wannabes." That's definitely me, and even though you know the cliche that everyone is unique and to just be yourself... it's still just a meaningless cliche unless it clicks.

Typology has given me quite a few clicks over the past couple of weeks. I'll be interested to read more about how it's played a role in other people's lives here on the forum.

If you have a chance, stalk cascadeco and fidelia's posts and see if they resonate with you. Both are intelligent INFJs.

+3 for Kasper's suggested link/read!

I will, thank you!

You are a brave lass.
Can knowing your type help you manage stress?
Very much so.

I found typology, and therefore my type, when I was bedbound. It is 25 years hence.
A friend had bought me an open book with empty pages to fill, and pens.

Typology helps you to make the decisions you have to make. Because finally you are able to see yourself from outside.
Good and evil are not rational terms.
Difference is.
.

Thanks, wildcat

I think knowing your type can help a lot! This New Years I sat down and tried to figure out why last year had been so stressful and horrible despite finding a job, finishing projects, getting "prettier" through clothes and a haircut, etc. I found that I hadn't been nourishing my INFP self and had, in fact, been spending a lot of time talking down to myself and hiding my feelings from people. I wasn't doing anything to nourish my strengths/interests (spirituality, giving back, private reflection time, art). So maybe reading about the strengths of your type will help you realize what's missing in your life that would make you happier and more relaxed. Similarly, you can work on reducing the weaknesses that may make you more stressed out.

Good for you! I also found it useful seeing my strengths and weaknesses laid out in this way, and it made me realise some areas I perhaps should look at and give more of an outlet to, like my desire to be more creative or more assertively say how I feel rather than "bravely" playing it down (it isn't really bravery!)

I might come back an ask a few more questions in the next couple of days; I'll keep checking back for replies. Thanks again!

 

[guesswho]

No, knowing your type doesn't help you manage stress. Knowing how to manage stress, helps you manage stress. Can type give you more insight on how to manage stress? Yes, a theoretical insight. Is it enough? I don't think so. Experience with managing stress, helps you manage stress.

 

[Alchemilla]

I don't think anyone has suggested typology is a way to replace stress management, just that it could help. I think the more you know about yourself (especially about your strengths and weaknesses, preferences and processes) the better you will be able to implement stress management techniques.

As part of the standard care for teenagers with chronic conditions, I was sent to see a psychologist and (later on) I went to stress management classes that were run by the hospital. A lot of the focus was on learning about who you are, what you are like and using that knowledge to figure out what works for you. It's self-awareness, and this is especially true in my occupational therapy sessions. As many people have said in this thread, knowing yourself and having validation (such as from typology) can help a lot.