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Thread: Dear Fe User,

  1. #591
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    I think it has more to do with the result rather than the motive. It's like if I as a Ti user screwed up an account for a major company with a Te boss by not doing my research and flying with a particular idea I felt had merit, they wouldn't really care whether I believed I was doing them harm or not or even whether or not I was sorry. The result is that I lost them a whole lot of money and some of their reputation and I need to fix it or at the very least make sure that I do not walk into the same problem again. If I don't really understand what caused the problem, I'm not going to know how to avoid it. If I don't acknowledge that I understand what caused the problem, the Te boss is not going to trust that I have learned anything to put into practice next time.

  2. #592
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    Notice that Tallulah's appreciation of Fi (which I think is reflective of mine as well) has a lot to do with what she can actually SEE that Fi does. It's got a tangible result. I think Te works similarly. It can appreciate Ti only where it sees that it has some visible beneficial outcome.

  3. #593

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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    This statement officially has the Uumlau seal of approval:

    does this seal belong to a social organization? Or is too old?

  4. #594
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    does this seal belong to a social organization? Or is too old?


    It's too old to join the BSCA (Baby Seal Clubs of America).

  5. #595

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Orobas, I loved this. So true. So true. I do the exact same thing by skipping to the main concepts in a book, report, or email. Good Lord! It's a wonder anyone is my friend. Like EVAH!

    But Te does have some advantages. As Uumlau pointed out, it can cut the wheat from the chaff and get to the important points without being bogged down in the subtleties. And, if Fe is similarly utilitarian then thank God for it!

    Yeah, the best moment was when I was reading an email the ENTP had sent to her ENFP boss outloud to give my thoughts on how an ENFP might take the messaging. As I read, I started filling in the middle of the email-where all the Ti details were-with "blah, blah, blah" outloud. She said "Is that how you read the emails I send YOU?" Ummm....Guilty as charged. I just started laughing, so now it has turned into another fun point we can make fun of each other over. Or rather functionally stab each other repeatedly over.

  6. #596

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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post


    It's too old to join the BSCA (Baby Seal Clubs of America).
    but it's very cute! Look at those winky little eyyyyeeessss!!! I suggest an exception.

    Do the baby seals get to go on camping trips and earn merit badges?

  7. #597
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Notice that Tallulah's appreciation of Fi (which I think is reflective of mine as well) has a lot to do with what she can actually SEE that Fi does. It's got a tangible result. I think Te works similarly. It can appreciate Ti only where it sees that it has some visible beneficial outcome.
    This is a good point. I do think it probably works that way for Te/Ti, too. The Ti "blahblahblah" probably only becomes relevant to a Te user when it's been proven to create some sort of visible change, but it probably seems unnecessary and tedious at the time. Kinda like, "why do I need to know all this?"
    Something Witty

  8. #598
    Meat Tornado Array DiscoBiscuit's Avatar
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    ^ pretty much.

    It seems like many people like to talk and talk and talk, yet they still manage to say nothing.
    Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.
    - Edmund Burke

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  9. #599
    thankful Array PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post


    It's too old to join the BSCA (Baby Seal Clubs of America).
    I would think he protests Seal Clubs, don't you?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  10. #600
    Moving to the BVI Array highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Exactly. We want the summarized processed version of your emotions along with a recommendation for action, while Te wants a summarized processed version of ideas along with a recommendation for action. Both sides are open to coming up with the action themselves, but do want the summary. Introverted thinking or feeling tends to view this as being far too superficial to adequately understand the problem and come up with an appropriate solution. I think both Fe and Te feel that bringing them unprocessed and summarized information is lazy or is requesting a lot of unnecessary attention and babying.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think it has more to do with the result rather than the motive. It's like if I as a Ti user screwed up an account for a major company with a Te boss by not doing my research and flying with a particular idea I felt had merit, they wouldn't really care whether I believed I was doing them harm or not or even whether or not I was sorry. The result is that I lost them a whole lot of money and some of their reputation and I need to fix it or at the very least make sure that I do not walk into the same problem again. If I don't really understand what caused the problem, I'm not going to know how to avoid it. If I don't acknowledge that I understand what caused the problem, the Te boss is not going to trust that I have learned anything to put into practice next time.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Notice that Tallulah's appreciation of Fi (which I think is reflective of mine as well) has a lot to do with what she can actually SEE that Fi does. It's got a tangible result. I think Te works similarly. It can appreciate Ti only where it sees that it has some visible beneficial outcome.
    These are outstanding explanations/analogies. Helps to make things much clearer.

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post

    As has been said before, Fi users can be oblivious to when they have stepped on Fe toes, and an Fe user can tend to "shut the door" of communication so you can barely drag the reason out at times, because to them it seems "obvious"! I think there's always that fear too, that fear of being "locked out" by an Fe user that I don't think is quite analogous to an Fi user ... if someone offered what felt like genuine regret and not "crocodile tears" to me I would be fast to move past any conflict. The fact that Fe users often want to retreat and process makes it hard sometimes to 1.) understand the offence and 2.) know what to do about it, when to brooch the subject again, how to be "forgiven".
    I feel exactly the same way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I myself dont need verbal apologies or emotional expressions of apology, if I recognize the person felt guilty and we have negotiated a Te action plan moving forward of how the offense will not be repeated.....almost like I see their guilt, instantly mirror it, then forgive????

    What are we wanting to hear form the Fe users? Cause I get what you are saying, but I get where Fidelia is coming from...I feel like I am seeking some sort of affirmation or acknowldgement of...something? Like my ENTP-I am waiting to hear the "right" words-but I dont really understand if those words-whatever they are-are something that an Fe user would ever innately say-just like it is weird for the ISTJ to apologize when he didnt actually mean to do anything wrong??? (sorry this is really babbly-I am grasping at something but not sure what....)
    Some people don't seem to apologize. Ever. I have always wondered why that is. Not sure if it has anything to do with type. I tend forgive pretty easily but do like to see something. What it is, I'm not sure. Time helps too. You just forget about stuff after a while.

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    What are we seeking to hear from the Fe users?

    My first kick at this would be the following:

    1.) That our opinion is important, even if not understood
    It's an interesting concept and I agree with you. However, it seems like a hard thing for another person to do if they don't understand it. Isn't that part of what we need to do - explain our opinions so others can understand? Maybe this is easier for some types than others.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This is a good point. I do think it probably works that way for Te/Ti, too. The Ti "blahblahblah" probably only becomes relevant to a Te user when it's been proven to create some sort of visible change, but it probably seems unnecessary and tedious at the time. Kinda like, "why do I need to know all this?"
    I feel badly that sometimes I interrupt people in these situations. I want them to get to the point. They are not always Ti users either.

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