I don't know how easy it is for the Te or Fe user to do this though. It's contrary somehow to what's perceived as objectivity, even about subjective things. Fe users seem to be the ones saying there's less of a difference than Fi users insist there is. And I, as an Fi-user, do insist there's a difference. IRL, it wouldn't look very obvious though.I would suggest that while one certainly has one's preferred mode of thinking, it is something of a character flaw to refuse to recognize the validity of the alternative mode of thinking, especially for communication and interpersonal harmony. That means being able to recognize the alternate mode, and making an effort to understand it in its own terms, before applying one's preferred thinking-space.
I agree with this.Where these threads tend to break down appears to be when a failure to successfully understand/transform the information between thinking-spaces is interpreted as an attack or a willful insistence that information is only properly evaluated in one's preferred thinking space.
Agreed.Moreover the question isn't whether Fe vs Fi plays a role in misunderstandings of this nature, but rather how and to what degree. People will occasionally misapply or mislabel aspects of these misunderstandings, but that shouldn't be taken as evidence that Fe vs Fi considerations don't apply, but rather should be understood as a failure of understanding in that particular instance.
Yes, well said. Generally though, I just get a feeling of who gets it and who doesn't (for example - who is enthusiastic or who seems annoyed, guarded etc) and work more from those feelings.I suspect that part of the problem is that the Fe-Fi transformation is drastically limited by text communication. Body language, tone of voice, awareness of other contexts only visible to those present in person, all contribute to one's ability to do this transformation. One needs to learn new, text-based, cues to properly transform the understandings, e.g., "if someone is speaking in terms of how-I-feel, then one should read the words in Fi-space, not in Fe-space."
Difficult though, yes, in writing, because the Fe-users are trying very hard to keep emotional expression out of their posts and that is the info I need. IRL, I can read a whole lot more, including all of the body language cues etc. Speaking reveals more too because the spontaneous nature of verbal communication demands a much brisker pace.