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Thread: Dear Fe User,

  1. #161
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    the best way I can explain it is internal feeling that can best be sensed when it eminates out of the person "riled up", but "riled up" is more about overflowing. An Fi user who has learned that The best way to manage Fi is through Fe actions will focus on Fe actions, but this is not Fe. You cant possibly define things this way. I will do Fe actions because it pulls Fi out of people. My focus is not on the action, but the person. Defining this by an action confuses things. Yes I will/can pull out negative Fi, but I dont like to so its not my strong point. Some people need to have negative Fi pulled out though and this will not come across as harmonious.

    Also where people get confused is places where protean said that they stick with comfort, this is where Fe has problems with pulling out Fi vs Fe action. They try to balance but err on the side of comfort in this manner. But dont think that they err on the side of comfort for everything...they are still J and they still have that drive that pushes them outside of that comfort in a different way.
    Im out, its been fun

  2. #162
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Pretty much all the Fi doms I am close to are all about harmony with others. themselves. The Fi users that I have noticed that have the "I will say and do whatever the hell I want" vibe are the XXTJs.
    LOL.

    Yes.

    But they (we) are attaching values to other things than just value itself. I'm going to go ahead and say the more aware a person is of feeling (which by default means the higher feeling is in function order), the more likely they are to privilege exactly that, and subordinate other concerns to feeling per se. And since other people are a constant source of feeling validation and invalidation, the higher up the F, the more concern for other people just as people.

    How about I walk out on a limb and say Fe people (not unlike TJ people) see other people as important items within a system, and Fi people see other people less as systematic items and more as relatively random (though often understandable) objects outside of them?

    That seems to me how I can understand Fe/Fi. But it's complicated by other functions being involved. How about this: the higher in the function order is Fi, the less likely a person is to care about systematizing the outer human environment, and by default the less able they are to systematize that outer environment, while the higher the Fe, the more likely the person is to care about outer organization and engage in organizational activity.

    As to what the specific goal of that organizational activity may be and what methods get used, presumably this varies according to the person and what they have come to know about themselves and others.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  3. #163
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think SFJ Fe is different than NFJ Fe from the feedback I've gotten from other people about how they see SFJ Fe at work. I liked your synopsis though highlander from PM's stuff. I think Fe has a lot to do with using all angles of how the group works, connects, gets along (or doesn't) and all of their views and then deciding what is the course of action most amenable to the intended goal, while accommodating the most people. However, Fe sometimes has no problem opposing people. It's not that you only do what the group consensus wants. I think for me, Fe is being aware of how my decision or actions or expressed opinion is going to be reacted to, countered or felt by others and then weighing what course of action will most closely achieve the goal that I am trying for. There are times when opposition is extremely necessary. However I think you should go into it knowing whether you will be winning the battle but losing the war when doing so or what implications it has for everyone involved (will me doing this screw someone else over and does the good to be gained from that counterbalance the cost it will have to me or the person who I am affecting by making this an issue, etc).

    Fe also means that I tend to come to a decision or opinion, but then will run it by several other people whom I rely on. Depending on their reactions, I may take more time to consider or may go ahead. I may decide that my emotions about the issue at hand are temporary or should not be acted on, or that they are valid and my gut feeling is right, depending on the uniformity or strength of response from those I trust.

    I think Fe starts with itself and what makes sense based on observation and thought put in and then looks outside for input. Fi appears to me to be more open initially to external ideas and influences no matter whom or where they come from, but the final call comes from within one's own self.

  4. #164
    Glycerine
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    @ Kalach: This is going to sound really bad but MY Fe sees life as a social chess game (which I really suck at). I think it kind of related to what you said about Fe working more within a system.

  5. #165
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    ^Wow, that is exactly how I see it. I didn't really assoc that with Fe *shrug*. (I don't participate, I feel like more of an observer but I feel like I can see everyone I know moving within their little orbits, who they orbit around and why. It's not something I try to see, it just happens. Sorry if this is a tangent.)

  6. #166
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    No violaine, I do that too. I can't help it either. In fact one of the big things I find fascinating in getting to know new people is figuring out how they fit into the bigger picture. Even on this forum, I like knowing what other people are within one person's orbit, what they care about, what their hot buttons are, where their strengths lie, who they don't hitch with. I think in part it gives me a bigger sense of security because I better know what to expect from them. I also just find it fascinating. Some people like studying science or some kind of business system etc. I like studying human systems and seeing if I can find any particular "laws" at work within a particular little culture of people or within my own interactions with someone. I also like investigating how far afield those laws apply - do they work across many different sub-cultures or not? Is it a human condition or just a person or group specific one?

    I don't know if that's Fe or not, but I kind of suspect it is from talking to other people.

  7. #167
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    What happens when you win?
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  8. #168
    violaine
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    @ Fid: How interesting. It didn't even occur to me that people don't do this automatically! For me it's just how you've described and I would feel blind somehow without it.

  9. #169
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    we dont win, we all die

    edit...lol...as in...we all have a lifespan.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #170
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    *this discussion just got really interesting*
    The Justice Fighter

    INTJ - 6w5 8dw 3w4 sx/so - Neutral Good

    "I trust what you are doing though…I just see it a little differently.
    I don’t see it as you stepping away from the fire. I see it as the fire directing your course.
    No matter how airy or earthy or watery you become... to many of us you will always be...a super nova."

    "Behind these gates of seeming warmth sits, loosely chained, a fierce attack dog. Perhaps not crazy, but dangerous"

    The Aggressive 6
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