User Tag List

Page 10 of 77 FirstFirst ... 891011122060 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 765

Thread: Dear Fe User,

  1. #91
    Administrator Array highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    16,394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    The continued assertion that the two functions are so different is meaningless when you're on a granular level. If a Fe user gets burned by a flame they go "ow!" and a Fi user goes "aw!" Literally like the nerves and sensors of the body react in completely different ways. People act like Fe and Fi users have completely different emotional repertoires, that concepts don't translate between languages and if they do it's a barely understandable translation. I believe the people that have the most problems bridging between the Fe or Fi users in their real life (I think these miscommunications are exacerbated online) are the ones that are very deeply entrenched in their Fe or Fi mindsets.
    I think most people use hybrids of the processes so it can be hard to distinguish IRL. That being said, it's a theoretical construct though and within that construct, I believe them to be very different. Fi is highly personalized. It involves subjective values vs. objective ones. Fe is about upholding values of a group - it strives to hold everybody to a common standard. So it involves objective values vs. subjective values. I don't think either is better than the other but I do believe them to be very different.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  2. #92
    Administrator Array highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    16,394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post


    All this rabble about "Why are you here?" is ridiculous. Isn't disagreement with the content on TypoC a reason to be here?

    If you think that only people who believe in the content should be here, it reads as though people should only be here to confirm and conform.
    I think the point is that if you don't see the value or purpose in something then why spend time on it.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  3. #93
    Senior Member Array Jaguar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    11,131

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post


    All this rabble about "Why are you here?" is ridiculous. Isn't disagreement with the content on TypoC a reason to be here?

    If you think that only people who believe in the content should be here, it reads as though people should only be here to confirm and conform.
    Speaking of conformity. . .
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ogy-forum.html

    Take a walk down memory lane. In that thread someone is suggesting that those who do not display an MBTI type "lack courage." Conform, you cowards!


    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    It's like this ranch just got a shipment of new cattle and now they're a ready for a brandin'!

    From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Array IndyGhost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEI
    Posts
    2,399

    Default

    hmm... i don't know that all Fe users are created equal, either.

    Ni vs. Si makes a big difference as to how Fe works as well.


    i'm Fi/Se and my sister is Fe/Si. (which is kinda funny...) i've had a lot of close hand experience of the clash of Fi vs. Fe growing up... :steam: and at holiday get togethers... (not to mention, clash of the Se vs. Si)

    but there are many things i admire her for, as well.
    first of all, it took me ages to develop my people skills... for her, it was a natural gift. and i often relied on her for this gift, as i was just not good at making friends, where as people flocked to her. ultimately, my sister was always one of my best friends growing up, and much of my time was spent hanging out with her and her other friends.

    if you're ever in a situation where someone is treating you badly, an Fe user will immediately come to your rescue . they are indeed guardians. i've experienced many a times, Fe users rescuing me from serious Fi hurt.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  5. #95
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default


  6. #96
    Plumage and Moult Array proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,523

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I think most people use hybrids of the processes so it can be hard to distinguish IRL. That being said, it's a theoretical construct though and within that construct, I believe them to be very different. Fi is highly personalized. It involves subjective values vs. objective ones. Fe is about upholding values of a group - it strives to hold everybody to a common standard. So it involves objective values vs. subjective values. I don't think either is better than the other but I do believe them to be very different.
    This just occurred to me. From a Fe perspective when I hear the word "group" I believe my baseline picture of a group or is way different than yours. Maybe we should clarify this. When I re-read the OP and hear words like "groupthink" and "conformity" I get confused about how that differs from agreeing with someone or holding similar beliefs. If someone believed similarly to you and enough of you got together would it be groupthink anymore or just the right thing to do?

    I checked out wiki to find out exactly a group is and maybe some ideas on why I'm not getting this at all. This is helpful, at least for me.

    ...a group can be defined as two or more humans who interact with one another, accept expectations and obligations as members of the group, and share a common identity. A true group exhibits some degree of social cohesion and is more than a simple collection or aggregate of individuals, such as people waiting at a bus stop. Characteristics shared by members of a group may include interests, values, representations, ethnic or social background, and kinship ties.
    When I think of group, the focus for me is not a bunch of faceless, nameless hunks of flesh amassed together, my interest is focused on the shared interests, values, and ties. So what rankles me about these threads is that when I personally tell people what my focus is--the ties between people--it gets reinterpreted as disregard towards the individuals or tripping over social ritual. I suppose this is annoying as well for other Fe-users or maybe just FJs, IDK. I admit, the individual tends to blur a bit, but ultimately there is no tie or bond if there are no anchoring points. The anchoring points (the individuals) get a significant amount of attention too, especially when I'm one of them! And then when you think about the ties and connectors themselves: what are they, why are they important, just so many things to look at it even further annoys me when there is no thought into why I/a Fe user does what I do or just goes along with what I'm told to do when I feel like it's way more complicated than that.

    It always depends on how much it matters to me and what I think I can do about it. Especially, when I know within myself a lot of mental and emotional energy goes towards figuring things between myself and another person or between other people. A lot of it points back inward to me and I start realizing things about myself when I think about these connections and ties, so even internally it's a chain reaction even if what catalyzed it happened externally. For me, this is a 360 degree process and ranges in scale, zoom in/zoom out as best as my mind can grasp it.

    For example, a friend of mine recently told me she's having trouble sustaining a mentor relationship with someone she asked to mentor her. My mind immediately went to crunching on the nature of mentor/mentee relationship, why is it weakening, what can be done to strengthen it, what kind of communications between her and her mentor could occur to revitalize the relationship. Yes, secondary thoughts were why is she feeling this way, what is frustrating her about this, why is it important to her, but when I say secondary, I mean within the length of a conversation. So then that's another point of frustration for me, to say that Fe doesn't think individual or contextual because for me it tends to happen within minutes. They may not be my first thoughts, but they're not very far behind and I'm not sure how you can even say the word "value" without factoring in the individuals. I need the anchors because it's pointless otherwise. So it's very hard for me to understand these things people say about "the collective" and "the group" because I don't view myself as operating on that level very often, at least not in my daily life. At work, I'm in a deparment, in a division, in a business unit, in a corporation, but my life mainly revolves around those small relationships, between a handful of people.

    So now I'm back to wondering what group is again. Thanks wiki, you make my life so much easier!

    Primary groups are small groups with intimate, kinship-based relationships: families, for example. They commonly last for years. They are small and display face-to-face interaction.

    Secondary groups, in contrast to primary groups, are large groups involving formal and institutional relationships. They may last for years or may disband after a short time. The formation of primary groups happens within secondary groups.
    When I think of a group, my immediate frame of reference is the primary group. Feel free to correct me, but I think when people think of Fe, they immediately think of the secondary group. highlander, just for the purposes of what you're saying here let's say generally for Fe the secondary group is the primary group. Do you think that may lead to a high level of internal wrangling and dissonance with those values are at odds? What do you think the decision points are for conflicts between two primary groups (a SO and the family) with a Fe user or between a primary and a secondary group?

    I can get real with you and say that there is often a conflict with me when I'm an individual person, with my own individual interests and desires, and when I'm an African-American woman who's part of the larger black community. How do you articulate when those things conflict and how you decide how you're going to align yourself (sorry I don't opt out...it's the Jay in me) or how you move between the two or several? Sometimes it's not about me, and sometimes it is about me. Maybe it is simpler for a Fi user, who doesn't feel as much conflict between their group identity and their individual one because it's clear the individual identity will usually win. Personally, both are very important to me and I don't think my values are shadier because I hold a group identity on par with an individual one.

    I know you're not knocking the Fe process, but I can't help but feel like you've oversimplified it while valorizing the subjective process and I want to address this. I get that you're venting and that's all good and leads to productive discussion, but I'm quite happy with my Fe process as well. When you get to a point when these ways of seeing and being are at an impasse, to me the next logical step is to start looking for common denominators to move pass the loggerheads and become less trenchant. It's like two people stuck in a doorway and both refusing to let the other person go so there they remain. Like we said, the problem is figuring out who's going to step back and let the other person go so both people can get out of the mess. That's pretty difficult to decide.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #97
    Administrator Array highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    16,394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Speaking of conformity. . .
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ogy-forum.html

    Take a walk down memory lane. In that thread someone is suggesting that those who do not display an MBTI type "lack courage." Conform, you cowards!
    Oh that's right. You didn't like what I had to say in that thread either. You are hurting my feelings now

    It's a wonderful thing that we all have a right to our own opinions.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  8. #98
    Senior Member Array IndyGhost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEI
    Posts
    2,399

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    You are hurting my feelings now
    silly, highlander. INTJ's don't have feelings.

    jk.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  9. #99
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    If anything requires 'courage' here, it's the courage to be honest about one's own character.

  10. #100
    Permabanned Array
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,304

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Kanye West has the mind and mouth of a child. He needs a swift kick in the ass.
    I agree. He needs to be...corrected.

    Maybe that means we have Fe!! There were some NFPs over in the Kanye West thread saying they totally understand him and would do what he did. CLEARLY this must be an Fi/Fe issue.


Page 10 of 77 FirstFirst ... 891011122060 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. The reason behind your user name.
    By Yloh in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 255
    Last Post: 09-27-2016, 12:57 PM
  2. NEW USER
    By swordpath in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 01-30-2011, 01:32 PM
  3. That new user smell...
    By ewomack in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-17-2008, 12:14 PM
  4. hello from user #982738291
    By Electric in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-10-2008, 04:52 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •