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  1. #21
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Back up a second. The article is clearly aimed toward taking actions (with little regard of their genuine nature) which will advance your position with your superiors. It is to this content (and this interpretation of the content) to which I wrote my original post. (The article did include details such as 'flirting will only get you so far' but I found the tone exploitive). Let's not lose that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    These two posts conflict. Either people are supposed to get along or they're supposed to be direct and honest.
    Are you summarizing my posts as "Either people are supposed to get along or they're supposed to be direct and honest" or making a declarative statement of your own? I don't understand.

    So, say you're naturally flirtatious and flirt with both genders as a sign of friendliness. Must you stop being this way if this person can advance your career?
    Quick answer, no. There's a communication gap here so before we run down tangents let's check the main assumptions we're working with.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    I think you may not understand what I meant by civilized,

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    I'd add that all the regular rules still apply, meaning, conduct yourself as a civilized person, regardless if you like who you are dealing with or not, or perhaps more applicable to this article - whether or not they are an individual who you can use for your own advancement.
    ... but I'll let you confirm before I chase that one down.

    Also, you have an unusual definition of "flirt" above,

    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    So, say you're naturally flirtatious and flirt with both genders as a sign of friendliness.
    ... which may be exasperating communication problems. Most people do not flirt with both genders much less as a sign of friendliness. Sexuality differences aside I'll entertain the concept of "platonic flirtation" but that's just called being friendly.

    Flirting typically conveys romantic or sexual intent.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #23
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Back up a second. The article is clearly aimed toward taking actions (with little regard of their genuine nature) which will advance your position with your superiors. It is to this content (and this interpretation of the content) to which I wrote my original post. (The article did include details such as 'flirting will only get you so far' but I found the tone exploitive). Let's not lose that.
    The article is also silent on the genuine nature of these flirtatious interactions. Nowhere does it say that you dislike or don't respect the superiors that you're interacting with.

    Are you summarizing my posts as "Either people are supposed to get along or they're supposed to be direct and honest" or making a declarative statement of your own? I don't understand.
    Yes, I'm summarising your posts.

    Quick answer, no. There's a communication gap here so before we run down tangents let's check the main assumptions we're working with.
    Okay, cool. Another question for you. Do you feel it's wrong that men "dress for success" in the office?

  4. #24
    A window to the soul
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    ^You spin me right round baby right round... try as you may, you can't spin this. The article is as ridiculous as the argument. The title speaks for itself, "sleep flirt your way into the corner office."

    The connotation is what it is.

    EDIT: For clarification, I'm not suggesting the connotation is "sleep your way into the corner office." I'm suggesting that the connotation of the title, as written by the author, has a negative vibe. I threw the 'sleep' part in there to make you laugh. Me imagining the author throwing ideas around before deciding on a topic.

    Titles w/positive connotation:

    "work", "earn", "lead"...
    "____ your way to a corner office"

    When I'm at work, I work. I take my job very seriously and I forsee how my success or failure will affect everybody else on the team. In other words, if I develop a less than quality software product because I'm focused on flirting my way out of "cubicle paradise" and into a "corner office", then not only have I 'failed' myself (due to poor quality work), but I've brought the team down with me. (Leaving them to unfairly pick up the slack.) That would rob me of any joys of attaining the corner office.

    Looking at it in that context, the article is not logical. For me, there isn't enough time in the day to effectively work and make the social rounds. Perhaps the advice offered in this article is more useful for someone with little responsibility and a lot of time.

  5. #25
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    No spin. There is more than one way to perceive anything. Maybe I'm the P and you're the J?

  6. #26
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    I'm a P. I play hard. I play fair. I play fair because when I make the rules, I care about people and the overall well-being of the 'group'. There is nothing admirable about a 'phony' getting a corner office for being all talk, no action (no work). I don't care how hot & sexy you are. I'll be professional to you, but I wouldn't entertain/reward the advances with a promotion. Thanx-goodness my parents literally beat the P-irresponsibility out of me; most of it.
    You give men little to no credit. It would take a major duffus to promote someone just because they flirted with them. If the skills aren't there to back it up, it ain't gonna' happen. Flirting, being friendly and dressing for success get you noticed.

    We're not talking about sleeping with a superior to get a promotion. That's outside of the scope of this article.

  7. #27
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    You give men little to no credit.
    Tap, tap, tap. Is this thing on?? ^Me? lolz! I didn't write the article, nor do I agree with it.

    Am I speaking in German again?

  8. #28
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    I'm a P. I play hard. I play fair. I play fair because when I make the rules, I care about people and the overall well-being of the 'group'. There is nothing admirable about a 'phony' getting a corner office for being all talk, no action (no work). I don't care how hot & sexy you are. I'll be professional to you, but I wouldn't entertain/reward the advances with a promotion. Thanx-goodness my parents literally beat the P-irresponsibility out of me; most of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    Tap, tap, tap. Is this thing on?? Me? lolz, I didn't write the article, nor do I agree with it.

    Am I speaking in German again?
    Tap, tap, tap, your posts are recorded. P's usually have a pretty good memory for detail, particularly when they just posted it in the prior post.

    Anyways, this discussion with you is seriously getting silly. I'm out.

  9. #29
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    Lightbulb Forbes Article Titled, "FLIRT YOUR WAY INTO THE CORNER OFFICE"

    ^
    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    There is nothing admirable about a 'phony' getting a corner office for being all talk, no action (no work).
    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    You give men little to no credit. It would take a major duffus to promote someone just because they flirted with them.

    ...Flirting, being friendly and dressing for success get you noticed.
    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    ^Me (not give men credit)? lolz! I didn't write the article, nor do I agree with it.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    The article is also silent on the genuine nature of these flirtatious interactions. Nowhere does it say that you dislike or don't respect the superiors that you're interacting with.
    True. I'm filling in the blanks with bad things, you're filling them in with good ones. The article itself is fairly ambivalent.

    Yes, I'm summarising your posts.
    Incorrectly. I'll put the burden on you to describe how they are contradictory.

    Based on other responses, I doubt I'll get much from it, but I feel some obligation to respond.

    Okay, cool. Another question for you. Do you feel it's wrong that men "dress for success" in the office?
    You might lump "dressing well" and "flirting your way in the door" into the same category, but I don't.

    I do handyman work and network like everyone else. I wouldn't get the half the clients I do if I dryly told people "I am competent at the task you described, hire me" while I scowled at them.

    And I recognize that in many cases my clients are women. They don't want some scary looking guy coming into their house with a bag of tools which could double as weapons. I'm clean cut. I wear clothing that is frequently cleaner and nicer than it needs to be. I tend to do electrical work in my standard khaki and black, for instance. I keep my tools clean and organized, and I use quality gear.

    To say that I've encountered flirtatious undertones in my work is an understatement. But they have tended to be more damaging than anything else. I've dropped clients who have flirted with me inappropriately.

    However, I have told flirtatious jokes to my boss (separate business). Once, in a busy streak, I did something useful and she responded that I 'read her mind.' I quickly responded "I know what you're thinking right now, and it's inappropriate." As I walked away to my next task she laughed and yelled down the hall "yeah right dream on." It was funny and a mood boost for everyone. Including her husband who I'm good friends with. (We constantly rib each other.) I wouldn't consider it if I wasn't close with the people involved, and there was no "power play."



    The main point is: the author sounds like she is full of crap, and is encouraging behavior which sounds forced, disgenuine, and exploitative, which I deem offensive.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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