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  1. #11
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    The article also mentioned wearing sexualized clothing like really high heels as a direct reaction to a male compliment. Responding to personal male compliments on dress is saying, "I am here to please you". There is eye contact based on interest and respect in a business sense, and there is eye contact that has a swoony manner where your pupils get larger, tip your head, be too close, and you hang on their every word suggesting an infatuation. They said the flirting is subtle and conveyed in the nuance of the normal type of interactions. The article is saying to "flirt between the lines" type of thing.

    I think what it does is boost the ego. It gives the illusion that women are attracted sexually to the men even if they won't cross the lines for professional reasons. The ego is still boosted by the undercurrent of possibility. The problem is that the ego is equally offended when that undercurrent possibility is not offered. A woman can make male enemies based on that alone.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #12
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    I'd agree that most of what they are describing is just basic social contact stuff. Although (in my view) social stuff of the forced, "ass-kissing bullshit" variety. Not that those behaviors can't be genuine, just in this context, I can imagine the author of the article with some big fake smile and pervasive strained eye contact and laughing too hard at things that aren't funny. The article has an additional sexual spin with the 'stiletto heels which add to her already tall frame' description and more.
    +1
    -end of thread-

  3. #13
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    I'd agree that most of what they are describing is just basic social contact stuff. Although (in my view) social stuff of the forced, "ass-kissing bullshit" variety. Not that those behaviors can't be genuine, just in this context, I can imagine the author of the article with some big fake smile and pervasive strained eye contact and laughing too hard at things that aren't funny. The article has an additional sexual spin with the 'stiletto heels which add to her already tall frame' description and more.

    In any case, this probably, (somewhat laughably), DOES work in a corporate setting, and less surprisingly, in less institutionalized environments. That said, I can see this blowing up in your face if you try it with the wrong people, who will either:

    - see right through your bullshit and either use you or dismiss you
    - be oblivious, and think you are being genuine, and certainly cause problems for you
    I'd be curious why this methodology of friendly social interactions offends you so much.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Corporate environments interest me.

    A guy I work with now quite frequently used to work in in an office. I pointed at one - a shiny glass postmodern rectangle "like that?" I asked him. "Yeah."

    We talked about a variety of things. He mentioned how he had "an office wife." He explained that many people have an office pal or frequently a person of the opposite sex who they are close to but on a professional level.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  5. #15
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Office environments are hazard zones. It's always best to have someone watch your back, regardless of gender.

    Networking matters quite a bit where it gets you noticed.

    Not sure why it has to be viewed as fake or insincere. Most often, your allies and network of contacts are people you get along with. But it's true there are the insincere frenemy types.

  6. #16
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    I just try and be positive and charismatic and that has worked wonders so far...

  7. #17
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    I'd be curious why this methodology of friendly social interactions offends you so much.
    Short answer:
    The methodology in question is terribly disgenuine.

    I find it offensive because when you sacrifice and betray your true emotions for a generic, always pleasant facade, you:

    - impede the airing of legitimate grievances which could be solved readily if not for the pressing need to always present a false positive image

    this requires that both individuals (or more) have the esteem to deal with the situation as it is. the danger of the facade is the potential to sugar coat a major problem with social niceties.

    if you want to be competitive, I think you can see why that is an issue.
    - create a mockery of true friendship and camaraderie
    - fail to truly assess the other person - you are focused on your own image rather than the people around you
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    I'd add that all the regular rules still apply, meaning, conduct yourself as a civilized person, regardless if you like who you are dealing with or not, or perhaps more applicable to this article - whether or not they are an individual who you can use for your own advancement.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  9. #19
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Short answer:
    The methodology in question is terribly disgenuine.

    I find it offensive because when you sacrifice and betray your true emotions for a generic, always pleasant facade, you:

    - impede the airing of legitimate grievances which could be solved readily if not for the pressing need to always present a false positive image

    this requires that both individuals (or more) have the esteem to deal with the situation as it is. the danger of the facade is the potential to sugar coat a major problem with social niceties.

    if you want to be competitive, I think you can see why that is an issue.
    - create a mockery of true friendship and camaraderie
    - fail to truly assess the other person - you are focused on your own image rather than the people around you
    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    I'd add that all the regular rules still apply, meaning, conduct yourself as a civilized person, regardless if you like who you are dealing with or not, or perhaps more applicable to this article - whether or not they are an individual who you can use for your own advancement.
    These two posts conflict. Either people are supposed to get along or they're supposed to be direct and honest.

    So, say you're naturally flirtatious and flirt with both genders as a sign of friendliness. Must you stop being this way if this person can advance your career?

  10. #20
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    Flirting in the corporate world will only take one so far (aka, 'brown nosing'). Some amount of showmanship around the office is important, but I think focusing on quality work, and promoting a genuine team atmosphere is more important.

    I'd rather my review say, "kicks asses & takes names with her work."... rather than, "kisses asses and takes sexy to new heights."

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