The sensitivity between Fe/Fi (disregarding the inclusion of any input from T-types) stems from our intense feelings.
It's incredibly difficult because each side is so impassioned in its attempt to make the other side see (or feel) its own perspective. Personally, I find it difficult to understand why Fe is so focused on groups to the point where this focus could in fact compromise my feelings. Likewise, Fe doesn't understand why Fi gets all pissy even if there's a lovely environment and everyone is having a good time.
I also think there are inclinations in both types to view the other in pejorative terms: Fi could look at Fe as ingratiating and servile to appease others, while Fe could look at Fi as self-indulgent and whiny to the point of never being satisfied.
That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
Of any world where promises were kept,
Or one could weep because another wept.
It's called an empath without emotional boundaries.
That's interesting. Where is it called that? I hadn't heard of that. What if the empathy is accurate? Do personal boundaries require some degree of distorted perception in favor of one's ego? If that sort of empathy is incorrect, then it would make sense that it signified some sort of issue. The accuracy of empathy that doesn't take things personally would be at the core of defining what is going on - also actions and choices done in response to a negative behavior. Perceiving negative actions/words as impersonal does not automatically mean the behavior would be accepted or allowed to continue. Instead it is about seeing that it stems from the other person's own history and issues. It can be rather helpful in creating internal boundaries.
Edit: I wonder if a case could be made that it would be the opposite - it would create (perhaps unrealistically) an impenetrable emotional boundary? I still think it is a question of accuracy. Taking nothing personally might be inaccurate in which case it would be a problem, but it certainly seems like a great many behaviors are acting out past issues or current frustrations. So much is misdirected.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
Introverted NP does not divide N.
Extraverted NP does not divide F.
wildcat can you explain this more? do you mean INFP is more in tune with both Ne/Ni and ENFP with both Fe/Fi?
Originally Posted by violane
It's like they can't see past the words I'm using to my calm tone and demeanor.
are the people you're talking about Ti doms? this is a frequent source of misunderstanding between my INTP dad and myself. he reads only words, and not emotional language. i tend to read more into emotional language than specific words, and so i will misread into his emotions that, for him, mean nothing.
Originally Posted by Annwn
I've wondered if the most empathetic person would be the least sensitive in their reactions to other people - at least in terms of taking things personally.
i think both yes and no... how much you understand about the other person's processing doesn't necessarily correlate with how you choose to respond to it, if that makes sense. i might understand that a friend treated me curtly in the heat of being stressed out by a project, but that doesn't necessarily mean i have to forgive her for treating me curtly, because, at some semi-conscious level, she decided that i was not worth treating kindly. i think because behaviors are based on so many different layers of thought and emotion, you can break them apart and accept some and reject others. in that case, i understand that emotionally she was stressed, and her cognitive resources were being devoted to the task at hand instead of attending to me. at the same time, there were other, less cruel options that she could have chosen that would not have hindered her greatly, and as such, i might wonder why she didn't choose one of those, and subsequently determine that somewhere along the line, i was not valued enough for her to put in the effort to treat me kindly.
so i guess my point is, that at some level, every interpersonal interaction is personal, and your level of empathy really doesn't determine whether you decide to take something personally or not - it only shows you greater nuances and more options in terms of understanding why that person may have treated you like they did.
i think emotional boundaries are also somewhat separate, in that for a Fi dom/aux, we must literally introvert the Feeling - ie, take it on as our own - to process it, much like Ti dom/aux create their own internalized system of logic to deal with external logic. this means Fi and Ti systems are more comprehensive and less ad-hoc, but also that they can't process information without taking it on as their own to a certain degree. whereas a Fe dom/aux can keep interpersonal distance while information-gathering with Ni or Si - they can find the info they need inside themselves, whereas Se or Ne need the external info. consequently FPs have to get closer to a person and dissolve boundaries to accurately assess Feeling, while FJs can more easily hold boundaries while assessing Feeling. this results in the FJ being able to keep better distance, but the downside of distance is... well, distance. distance protects both the individual subject and empath but at the same time removes them from one another - the distanced empath is less motivated to protect the subject, and the distanced subject is less motivated to trust the empath.
1. Fi explains why Fe is shallow
2. Fe explains why Fi is pretentious
3. Fi get's stroppy
4. Fe tries to smooth things over with gentle hand holding
5. Fi feels patronised and bites
6. Fe feels hurt at being bitten and sulks, loudly
7. Fi explains in an accusing way why Fe was wrong
8. Fe tells Fi to FO