User Tag List

First 56789 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 83

  1. #61
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ingenue View Post
    Perhaps unstable is too strong of a word to generalize ESFP mothers. I'm inclined to think more like heedless. My ESFP mother took her parental duties very responsibly, but there was a level of recklessness in her decision-making process. For example, she was not very good at managing money, and that combined with my INTP father's lax and often oblivious attitude about money turned into stupid investment decisions. She's certainly a risk taker and has a kind of "if everyone else is [making money/doing something] then why can't I?" attitude and happily jumps into an investment without much thought. But yes, it does help when there is a stabilizing figure in the equation. I would say that both my mother and father are doing much better financially (and emotionally) now that they have more "stable" spouses.
    It's just my personal bias, of course, because I like stability and think it's very important for children. (This is why I think I'm probably enneagram 6 rather than 4.)

    My mother made me not want to have children at a young age, for real, for paranoia of being anything like her.

    It's not just me, either. My sisters have fond memories of being screamed at for wanting the last of the peanut butter, there literally being no food in the house, other people having to watch them all of the time, and not being taught "normal" girl things by mom, say, like how to shave their legs. Their clothes were often missing, and their socks mismatched. My ENFJ sister I think was probably the most traumatized by it, but she is thankful for other relatives she had who gave her more stability and order. My other two sisters are, unfortunately, a lot like my mother - one more so than the other.

    I don't think my judgement of my mother would be so harsh if she'd had the sense to not have children before she was mature enough to take care of them. That's the whole problem, really, is that she was just thoughtless and selfish.

    I also pretty much decided I fucking hated her when I was about 21 when I realized how little responsibility she took, even years later, for the things she did to her children when she was younger. I am so, so, so thankful for my grandparents. I think this constantly, even now that I've forgiven my mother and no longer feel any real anger towards her.

    I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a better mother now, I suppose...I just would never, ever want to subject any child to what she did, nor to what I saw a couple of other members write about their ESFP mothers in this thread.

    I was lucky to be the oldest child, and from a different father than my three younger sisters. They were able to legally adopt me without his interference, unlike the father of my three sisters, which is why they were raised by her (with the exception of a few months or a year here and there).

  2. #62
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    246

    Default

    ahhhh??? . . . drum roll please . . . my mom . . . is . . . an . . . INTP!!!
    (i am an enfp) As a child i was very shy & attached to my mother. i perceived her to be very nurturing, caring, giving & perfect. when i started getting older i started kinda feeling like my mother was a lot smarter (hee hee) than everyone else's mothers & that was interesting. i also thought she was kinda cold & rigid but in a smart way. As a teenager i thought she was rigid, uptight, persnickety & timid but still always very giving & kind. As a teenager young adult i would get very frustrated at how impartial she would always be- like whenever i had a boy problem or friend problem my mom would just never be on my side. she was too fair / too objective & that kind of hurt me because i felt like she didn't "stand up" for me or understand me or maybe just didn't love me if she could always remain so damn objective ALL THE TIME. Now that i'm older & in my 30's i really am noticing more & more everyday how much influence / shaping she has had over me & i am EXTREMELY grateful to have been raised by such a different kind of woman. i could go on & on & on with how i've been shaped but now i can't even remember what the thread was asking exactly

  3. #63
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,262

    Default

    i started a thread about this a while back entitled, "mommying MBTI style". the link:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...bti-style.html
    ✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
    (¯`✻´¯)
    `*.¸.*'ღϠ₡ღஇڿڰۣ
    •.¸¸. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒჱܓ. இڿڰۣ.¸¸.இڿڰۣ´¯`·.─♥


    Cerebral Artery
    http://www.facebook.com/CerebralArtery

  4. #64
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    i started a thread about this a while back entitled, "mommying MBTI style". the link:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...bti-style.html
    Actually This thread is supposed to be about if your mother's type had a positive or negative influence on your perception of that type.

    It just kind of turned into a mommy love fest. which is fine.

  5. #65
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,262

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Actually This thread is supposed to be about if your mother's type had a positive or negative influence on your perception of that type.

    It just kind of turned into a mommy love fest. which is fine.
    oh, sorry. well, maybe it can be used in some way.
    ✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
    (¯`✻´¯)
    `*.¸.*'ღϠ₡ღஇڿڰۣ
    •.¸¸. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒჱܓ. இڿڰۣ.¸¸.இڿڰۣ´¯`·.─♥


    Cerebral Artery
    http://www.facebook.com/CerebralArtery

  6. #66
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    My mum is an ESFJ.

    I have a few issues with my mum but i love her and try to see her point of view.

    When my mother left my father, although she stayed the nurturing type, something changed. She still cared but she let me and my brother have free rein. We could go out first thing in the morning and be back for 9.45pm, she'd let me have days off school to help her, i was basically able to manipulate her but there was a line i couldn't cross. She had one hell of a temper. Lol, she once put my thumb (i sucked my thumb as a child) on the chopping board and got the largest knife out and threatened to cut it off. I was petrified she'd do it. I think she was lax about things i now realise because her marriage to her second husband was incredibly abusive so she wasn't in a good head space but she hid it well from us. When i fell pregnant at 15 things deteriorated big time. She wasn't aware of the abusive relationship i was in as she very rarely came to visit me, although one time i dared ask for £10 to buy the children some food and she gave it to me. I wasn't invited to family gatherings so was practically pushed away. Once whilst chewing on a mouthfull of painkillers, she asked 'why are you being so stupid' .. Not the advice you need when you are crying out for help. In recent years things have got better, i see her nurturing side but she can also be suffocating in her help.

    I try not judge her behaviour, afterall she lost her mother when she was 16 months old so has longed to have a mother of her own.

    She is not very open minded to new possibilities and every now and again, i'll tell her to cut the apron strings. She worries endlessly.

    Me as a mother and an ESFJ

    I've turned into my mother

    I worry, i fight my children's causes especially at school with my xNTP kid. I don't have a college fund for them but if i did, possibly they'll need it for counselling. I've told my boys not to look at me as a role model but instead as a human being who makes mistakes. Me and my ISTJ son get on really well but things are very strained at the moment with my xNTP kid. Sometime i beat myself up for not doing a better job.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  7. #67
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    478

    Default

    I'm not sure if this is a love fest - so many of the mothers described are incredibly needy and selfish.

  8. #68
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,437

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    I'm not sure if this is a love fest - so many of the mothers described are incredibly needy and selfish.
    Not mine!!!
    <3 <3 <3

    Healthy INFJ moms for the WIN
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #69
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INtP
    Posts
    2,169

    Default

    My mom was the one who introduced me to mbti (via my ex-stepfather) -- she's an ISFJ, with all of the good and not-so-good things that sometimes means.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    In my experience with average ISFJs, they really want to give selflessly to those they love; but if they start to feel taken advantage of or they are not shown a response to their commitment, this can develop into disappointment, hurt, lack of self-worth, pessimism/dourness, martrydom, cynicism, etc.
    Oh yes. Totally.

    Mom's a great person, very nice, thoughtful, responsible, and giving. She will absolutely go out of her way to help people, *especially* her family. She highly values traditional family values and events, a spotless house, etc., but with all of her responsibilities often can't live up to her own expectations. In the past she's not had time to read newspapers she subscribes to... so her solution is to pile them up, get bothered that there are stacks of stuff everywhere in her house, and then spend vacations reading old newspapers so she won't feel irresponsible for wasting money on them without reading them.

    There is *definitely* some martyr complex that can jump up in her, very much related to what Jennifer said, above. Mom's a worrier, even when her kids are grown up and in general, doing well and responsible -- one anecdote: An episode where Mom was looking up sister's neighbors (who she didn't know) on the web and cold-calling them asking them if they'd seen her when sister was 2 hours "late" from a weekend camping trip. Sister was 35 at the time . She often *needs* to be doing something "productive". She'll offer help that's not really wanted, do it over your objections ("Oh, no, really Mom, you don't need to do that!"), and then be angry when you're not gracious enough. She bottles this sort of thing up, and can blow up in a... well... I don't know how to put it. Emotionally destructive manipulative guilt-trip? I'm not sure that does it justice... it's not good. It's much better now that I'm older and live away from the house, but I think in large part it's *because* I'm older and live a long ways away -- my sister (who lives in the same town, or did until not long ago) has had *way* more drama than I have - she deals with it better than I do.

    Mom's a wonderful person and I love her a lot -- she'd do anything for me, and I know it. But she has made me wary of ISFJ's in ways. I'm often very nervous around her when things aren't just great, because when she strikes out, it really, really hits me hard (I doubt she knows how hard -- I also have no doubt that in the moment, she doesn't care... and that after the moment, it would just crush her to find out, which is why I've never told her). I am a *total* sucker for guilt trips, and would never want to put myself in the position of being with someone who made a habit of using that sort of interpersonal tactic... and right or not, I tend to associate it with ISFJ's. I know that it's not fair, but I do have history -- it could be overcome, but it's there.

    So, yes.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #70
    NPcomplete
    Guest

    Default

    My mom's an ENFJ. She is extremely caring and constantly reminds us of what has to be done. She's also open-minded (apparently a lot of my friends' moms are not ) and generally lets us do what we want. Sometimes, though, she would go all "you're so insensitive!" on me but that's alright. I sometimes say those things just to get her all worked up (but of course she doesn't always look at it this way).

    Although sometimes the random thought about how emotional she is crosses my mind, I think overall, growing up with her had a positive impact on me. I mean, I do have a lot of NF friends who are similar to her in a lot of ways. Even my sort of best friend is an ENFJ.

Similar Threads

  1. Typology and Integral Philosophy
    By Abhaya in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 08-30-2013, 03:11 PM
  2. Typology and Nostalgia
    By Mole in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 08-19-2009, 03:07 PM
  3. Typology and Left-Right Sidedness
    By Alwar in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-07-2009, 04:42 PM
  4. Typology and Music
    By Night in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 12-18-2008, 12:54 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO