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  1. #51
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm starting to wonder if being a mother makes you crazy.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #52
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I'm starting to wonder if being a mother makes you crazy.
    That or people with crazy mothers are drawn here.
    -end of thread-

  3. #53
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    That or people with crazy mothers are drawn here.
    Would that be surprising?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  4. #54
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Would that be surprising?
    Not at all. I know I'm still trying to make sense of it all and MBTI is one avenue of explanation for some of the crazy.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #55
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I wonder if people would accurately type an SFJ mother as SFJ who let's say had higher educational attainment (thus increasing your Openness score in the Big Five), wasn't a teacher or nurse (an SFJ engineer or scientist), wasn't always trying to lick you to death, stuff you with cookies and other baked goods, and didn't obtrusively insert herself into your life.
    My mom is an eSFJ and doesn't fall into the stereotypes you mention ... but she would have made an excellent doctor or nurse though; she's a very intelligent, resourceful and caring planner, and loves the subject of medicine.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #56
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    That surprises me too. While most of the SFJ women I know personally are indeed career and achievement oriented, family also seems to be an important life goal for them.

    I wonder if there are cultural factors at work?

    I'm not sure. Such a mother would break the traditional mold in every sense of the word, which in itself might call into question her SFJ-ness.
    I think there are generational factors involved also. Women are supposed to "have it all" now. It is a cultural norm now in many ways to pursue career first, then have children in your 30s; or that having career means sacrificing being a parent. Fe adjusts to social/cultural values, so I'd see younger SFJs as aiming for this "new" norm, especially since this concept has been emphasized the past 30 years in western culture, and it's what has been set before them as the ideal.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  7. #57
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I think there are generational factors involved also. Women are supposed to "have it all" now. It is a cultural norm now in many ways to pursue career first, then have children in your 30s; or that having career means sacrificing being a parent. Fe adjusts to social/cultural values, so I'd see younger SFJs as aiming for this "new" norm, especially since this concept has been emphasized the past 30 years in western culture, and it's what has been set before them as the ideal.
    Excellent point.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  8. #58
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Mine's an ISTJ 1w2 sp/so.
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    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
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  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    I have noticed some hostility towards types from some people who seemed to have had bad relationships with their mothers who are that same type. Especially ENFJs .. To me ENFJs seem to get their label of being manipulative from people who had bad relationships with their ENFJ moms. So I was just kind of expanding on this thought to see if the trend expands beyond ENFJs .
    Well I hate to say it, but this thread has actually reinforced my opinion that ESFPs can make horrible, unstable mothers unless there is a stabilizing father figure of a more responsible type.

    Anything I can say about my SJ grandparents utterly pales in comparison to the disdain I sometimes feel for my mother, and the pity I feel for my sisters having been stuck with her more than I was.

  10. #60

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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Well I hate to say it, but this thread has actually reinforced my opinion that ESFPs can make horrible, unstable mothers unless there is a stabilizing father figure of a more responsible type.
    Perhaps unstable is too strong of a word to generalize ESFP mothers. I'm inclined to think more like heedless. My ESFP mother took her parental duties very responsibly, but there was a level of recklessness in her decision-making process. For example, she was not very good at managing money, and that combined with my INTP father's lax and often oblivious attitude about money turned into stupid investment decisions. She's certainly a risk taker and has a kind of "if everyone else is [making money/doing something] then why can't I?" attitude and happily jumps into an investment without much thought. But yes, it does help when there is a stabilizing figure in the equation. I would say that both my mother and father are doing much better financially (and emotionally) now that they have more "stable" spouses.

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