User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 64

  1. #31
    Member maydelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    50

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    it amuses me when someone starts a thread and then jumps all over the responses they receive in a flurry of defensiveness. if you want your unfettered thoughts to remain unchallenged/unexamined - start a journal rather than a thread on a forum.

    if you read some threads here on nts and relationships you might find some of the ideas resonate - nts and intj robots in particular have different needs when it comes to partnering up. there's also those tests on 'love languages' - some people value hearing words of affirmation rather than receiving physical affection….blah blah - google it.

    in my experience though you learn more valuable stuff about lovin' and being loved through doing. you need to get muddy in the trenches.

    all best
    strawberries
    I'm happy it amuses you. Well just glad. I like my thoughts to be challenged if I didn't I wouldn't have asked people what they thought. Please please please challenge me.

    I've just joined and was a tat too eager to ask something.


  2. #32
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Are you seeking a deep convo on the topic?

    You can ask the mods to change the thread title perhaps to something more appropriate, so we dont all tell you how much we love you. Cause we might just love you. Just saying. I know we havent known you for very long, but love is a magical thing....

    Can a human be emotionally attached to another human which does not reciprocally display affection? Absolutely, although there has to be something to spark that affection, likely rooted in projection of emotional feelings onto the recipient. We are all born thinking other people think and feel as we would and have to be taught or learn that is not the case. Emotional assumptions make the world go round. The duration of such a relationship would depend upon the obliviousness of the party emoting and their need for display of affection in turn. If they could tolerate or misunderstand displays from the recipient, perhaps the relationship would continue.

    However if those projections collapse, the question of the persistence of love in spite of a lack of love in return, perhaps, will trigger the assumption that the recipient does not actually feel love. In this case could love continue? It might be replaced by feelings of hate, feelings of good will or perhaps no feelings at all....

    With absolutely no signs of external affection, the one offering affection is putting themselves and associated resources at great risk for no return on investment, thus I would argue against it being a biologically, hormonally induced state that would continue for very long...

  3. #33
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    eNxp
    Enneagram
    5/7
    Socionics
    eii
    Posts
    849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maydelle View Post
    What I want to know is how many of you would be willing to stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't show any signs of love towards you?
    Wow. You just described every relationship I've ever been in. And yet I keep coming back for more. So to answer your question - yes, I have and yes, I would. But I kind of don't give a shit about myself like that.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    242

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maydelle View Post
    What I want to know is how many of you would be willing to stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't show any signs of love towards you?
    BASED ON THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS ( YOU) ON HUMAN TOLERANCE NOT ME.
    NO! Been there. Done that.

  5. #35
    Phantonym
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maydelle View Post
    What I want to know is how many of you would be willing to stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't show any signs of love towards you?
    Hm. Not showing any signs of love doesn't mean that there is no love. Just because you're not gushing all over the place doesn't mean that you don't love them. Maybe that person has their own personal and unique way of showing love and if you do love somebody, you'd want to share it with that person in some way. In that case, yes, I would be willing to be with them because the love is there.

    But, going with the understanding that not showing signs of love means that there is no love. No, I would not look forward to being in such a relationship. Personally, I don't consider this a healthy kind of behaviour in the long run. From my point of view this would be idolizing somebody in such a way that you disregard yourself and rob yourself and the other person a chance to be with somebody they do love and get that love reciprocated. Just because I happen to love somebody doesn't mean that I would be willing to bury myself in such a relationship that is not based on reality and could only bring suffering...to both parties really. It does not end well in reality, no matter how far you'll get with your fantasies.

    However, there are different kind of relationships, and as others have said, love can be expressed in different ways. The relationship could be based on something entirely different in a way that works for both parties and does bring some kind of satisfaction and fulfillment. If it works, then good for the people who do like this kind of arrangement.

    But...could I fall in love with an INTJ? Why, yes, absolutely. Not showing any signs of love towards people isn't an exclusive INTJ or type thing at all, it just shows that you don't love the person and you should definitely stop wasting your own and their time asap.

  6. #36
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    i don't mind if someone's not openly warm with everyone - i actually like my partner to be more reserved and less mushy-gushy than me. i appreciate a cooler, calmer balance to my sunshine and firestorms. with an INTJ it's not usually hard to tell if they're being genuine anyway, ime.

    i have more of a problem with people who are warm but i'm not sure if they actually love me, or just enjoy my company. people get warm and open and goofy around me... call it the ENFP effect or something... but sometimes i'm not sure if they're doing it because they actually like me or just because i know how to make them feel warm and fuzzy inside... actually... i'm not sure they always know either...


  7. #37
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,960

    Default

    an INTJ.. maybe. i'm not going to say never although i surround myself with FP's and i think most of the guys i've been interested in have been SP's with a couple NF's in there. someone who doesn't show any signs of love towards me? hell no. there would be absolutely no point in being in a relationship like that for me. i require a certain amount of coddling, and if i don't get it i start questioning their feelings for me so if i got nothing at all it would drive me crazy. i'd probably never be interested in someone that cold to begin with.

  8. #38
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    Ime, INTJs tend to show their love through helping you out and making the world more safe around you. And I very much appreciate that. I have one of my own, as well. He may appear very stern and rigid to the world, but he's not with me though, and I do think that's due to our dynamic. He learned that it was ok to let go at times though it took him a while. As for me, I don't expect that though it's a very nice bonus. INTJs tend to have a particular way to look at you that's very piercing..and yet when you do something they don't anticipate (and yes, believe me, we are capable of that ) they suddenly get that incredibly sweet and confused look on their face...often followed by a faint smile. I love doing that to them. Coz I know it means they care...they like what I'm doing. I don't need much...just the look in your eyes

    Also..I'm used to just about *anyone* being less gushy and affectionate than I am...so it doesn't really bother me, as long as it doesn't bother you to be force cuddled at times, and kissed at the most crazy moments, and generally being smothered with affection yourself. I have enough for both of us..no need to worry
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #39
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,390

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maydelle View Post
    Being an INTJ myself I've noticed that in any type of relationship I've ever had
    I have not been able (or willing) to give back as much intensity as I've received.

    What I want to know is how many of you would be willing to stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't show any signs of love towards you?
    BASED ON THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS ( YOU) ON HUMAN TOLERANCE NOT ME.
    Welcome to the INTJ forum conundrum and why we learn to keep such threads for INTJ only forums.

    Communicate with other people? You'll be misunderstood because of a slight of context.

    In this case because you said 'shows no signs of love towards you' rather than 'unconventional signs of love towards you'.

    It takes a relatively long time (for me) to trust someone enough to let my hair down and want to do all of the 'fun bubbly' ExxP boring and irrelevant nonsense with them. *glares at Strawberries and Halla for throwing rocks at a 17 post member*

  10. #40
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by maydelle View Post

    I'm not easily offended.
    Hence why I said I doubted it

Similar Threads

  1. [ISFJ] How can make an ISFJ fall in love with me again? <3
    By Cristina in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 08-22-2016, 11:13 PM
  2. [INTJ] INTJ falls in love with INTJ...
    By Misty_Mountain_Rose in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 01-12-2009, 02:30 PM
  3. [MBTItm] Rationals over there, how do you behave when you fall in love?
    By kathara in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 08-05-2008, 11:12 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO