My mother was an ESFJ, and just a sample of her many complaints of me when I was growing up:
- You're too assertive, you can't accept that men are in-charge
- You're too messy
- You're heartless
- You don't appreciate traditional practices (funerals, marriage, etc)
- You never care about housework
- I want grandchildren!!!1!!one
- You don't believe in religion
- You're too critical and you think too much
- You're not chatty with people and you aren't warm-hearted enough!
- You need to settle down and stop "playing the field"!
- Why don't you like kittens, puppies and tiny fluffball dogs? ALL women love them! You're the ONLY ONE who doesn't.
- You're EVIL for not liking poetry, flowers and romance films.
I've gotten a lot of these complaints from other SJs in my life (except maybe the grandchildren part, lmao). I've also had SPs meeting me expecting me to be a "traditional female", but then being kind of glad that I'm not, lol.
But my point is, males have a lot more freedom: have fun, get down and dirty, do whatever you want, you can be assertive, you're allowed to be messy.
Does the whole SJ-idealized culture apply mainly to women?