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Thread: I got thinking

  1. #1
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Default I got thinking

    And I realize I may be onto something. It's said that intps develop one of their feeling preferences further as life goes on, and yet I have been toldore than once (mostly by my mother) that I seem to be getting less empathetic as I get older. I also notice that it seems that I'm becoming more sociable, ie i'm getting better at conducting my interaction with others, and I find this greatly satisfying, yet I still don't see the need to be amicable or empathetic so much as sociable. Funny thing, but I don't think I ever really made a distinction betweenthe two before.

    This may have to do with some combination of my having nonverbal learning disability and ADD, but as this has once again raised doubt as to my mbti type, I figure with the varied perspectives on theory in here, I'd see if you (collectively) would attempt to shed some light on this.
    Last edited by captain curmudgeon; 10-02-2010 at 12:35 PM.

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    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    actually, for reasons very similar to what you posted here, I have this kind of policy which parallels yours-

    Everybody i meet is automatically treated amiably and friendly, unless the past warrants otherwise. Therefor, no one is nor can be my friend, since everyone is automatically treated with the highest amount of consideration possible. Furthermore to make one person a friend in my automation system would be unfair to all the rest out there that are - my species. It would improperly be putting extra favor towards one human for selfish political and social favor/gain, which is lamentable.


    Most people don't agree with or get this kind of interpersonal "foreign policy" strategy. my ESTP friend certainly didn't get this, which was a shame.

  3. #3
    Senor Membrane
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    Does this mean you guys just want someone around, and don't really care who it is?

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    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    actually, for reasons very similar to what you posted here, I have this kind of policy which parallels yours-

    Everybody i meet is automatically treated amiably and friendly, unless the past warrants otherwise. Therefor, no one is nor can be my friend, since everyone is automatically treated with the highest amount of consideration possible. Furthermore to make one person a friend in my automation system would be unfair to all
    the rest out there that are - my species. It
    would improperly be putting extra favor
    towards one human for selfish political and
    social favor/gain, which is lamentable.


    Most people don't agree with or get this kind of interpersonal "foreign policy" strategy. my ESTP friend certainly didn't get this, which was a shame.
    That's not really what I'm saying at all...

    My point is I thrive on a certain level of interaction with people, and need it more than I used to, but at the same time I'm not nearly as willing to empathize with most people or make an emotional connection as much as I
    used to be. That being said, I think I ask people about how they are with actual interest a tad bit more than I used to...I guess I just have lost patience for the rest of rhe conversation that some people want to develop after I ask!

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    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    And I realize I may be onto something. It's said that intps develop one of their feeling preferences further as life goes on, and yet I have been toldore than once (mostly by my mother) that I seem to be getting less empathetic as I get older. I also notice that it seems that I'm becoming more sociable, ie i'm getting better at conducting my interaction with others, and I find this greatly satisfying, yet I still don't see the need to be amicable or empathetic so much as sociable. Funny thing, but I don't think I ever really made a distinction betweenthe two before.

    This may have to do with some combination of my having nonverbal learning disability and ADD, but as this has once again raised doubt as to my mbti type, I figure with the varied perspectives on theory in here, I'd see if you (collectively) would attempt to shed some light on this.
    Yes, I found I became more sociable as I matured, and less empathic. And becoming more sociable I needed empathy less, so I give empathy less.

    I am much more able to enjoy the interaction, without worrying about being understood. And others seem to enjoy their interactions more with me.

    I guess I get what I give. And give what I want.

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    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    I find as I get older I am far less sociable, and far less tolerant of all those annoying tendencies in others. I am more appreciative, however, of deep and genuine human interaction when I do get it, as well as more generous since I now have more resources at my disposal to help others.

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    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Well understood and well put. I guess my question is- do you think this is just a human nature thing, an introvert thing, or an NT thing?

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    i think to a certain extent it's a human nature thing.

    as we grow older, we learn the need for and benefits of networking with more people. yet the more people you know, the more discriminating you can and must be, if only because we don't have unlimited resources. deep emotional connections can be very pleasant but also very taxing...

    i think we also develop a better sense of what we like and what we don't, and what we find acceptable and what we do not, and it becomes easier to "sift" through people and deal with them on different levels. i think it might be part of the reason many people see kids as "pure" - they're less likely to do the automatic sifting that adults tend to do.

    some of it may be influenced by your type, though, I making you a little more lots-of-intense-external-engagement resistant and T making you a little more lots-of-people-engagement resistant. i think we all experience ebb and flow in our lives, too, due to stages of self-perception, needs, and environmental changes. but perhaps you're also getting a little more pleased with exercising your Ne around people (therefore liking the new inflow of ideas interaction generates) but still not really being excited about engaging Fe to a huge extent.

    also - i think that as an NF Fi type, i tend to see a big difference in empathetic/amiable and sociable - default for me is empathetic and amiable but not super social, even though i am an E - i connect with others very easily but lots of social interaction (not necessarily being around people, but lots of intense interaction, especially with people who are acquaintances (aka i need to be on "good"/reserved behavior) does wear me out.

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    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    Well understood and well put. I guess my question is- do you think this is just a human nature thing, an introvert thing, or an NT thing?
    I think you're becoming more extroverted. Introverts tend to prefer fewer close connections, while extroverts (mostly) prefer more contact with more people that is more casual and less close. But that's probably not necessarily true for all extraverts.
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