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Thread: Emotional T's?

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleksei View Post
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    I really like...cats.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...1-post148.html

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    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    T relationships can sometimes be much more dramatic than F relationships. I used to think I knew how these things correlated, but it's not that simple. I used to assume T's were calm minded and detached, but some are really intense, get mad, and yell and fight dramatically in their relationships. Some Fs are way laid back in relationships with the needle on the drama meter hardly ever being activated.

    I think there are two sets of false assumptions. Firstly, the more emotionally dramatic Ts assume that anyone classified as an F is more that way than they are themselves. Likewise, more calm F's tend to assume that T's are even more detached and calm, and it's quite a surprise when you find out otherwise.

    I've been with the calm, rational T's in relationships, but as an F, I'm not that far behind in terms of calmness and rationality. I asked about this once just because I don't have an entire point of reference, but was told by my love that compared to ex's I barely register on the drama meter if at all. He also calls me rationalistic when working through problems of any nature.
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  3. #33
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I know a lot of times when I post on here I'm not being emotional, I'm being tongue-in-cheek or exaggerating or even being ridiculous and funny and people think I'm being "emotional" because I'm an NF. It makes me wonder if I changed my user name and type if certain people would begin to read the tone of my posts differently.
    I think people form an expectation of you by seeing your type which translates into them reading your posts with a slant toward how you're perceived by them. Your username and picture too. Just like we do to people on the street who look or dress a certain way.

    It's helpful looking at the patterns and associating them with a type but sometimes the preconceived bias is annoying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SNUGGLETRON View Post
    I think people form an expectation of you by seeing your type which translates into them reading your posts with a slant toward how you're perceived by them. Your username and picture too. Just like we do to people on the street who look or dress a certain way.

    It's helpful looking at the patterns and associating them with a type but sometimes the preconceived bias is annoying.
    Yeah there are totally Ts who get sensitive and pissed about certain things, of course. That's being emotional. It's interesting to me how emo is always equated with crying or hugging kittens and puppies, but not with anger, bitterness, touchiness, etc....

    Another thing that I've observed with the T/F misconceptions are the Ts who think they aren't using F in the MBTI sense.

    I'll give an example: there's an INTJ on this forum who claims they don't know what Fi is, but I see consistently in this person's posts a particular value system that they will strongly uphold in serious threads.

    I also see more than a handful of NTPs displaying glaring Fe ethics and calling it "being logical."

    It's because they're making the mistake of equating F with emotional and T with being rational.

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    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    A-fucking-men I don't think it's controversial to say that the F and T divide is probably the biggest in MBTI and probably the one that causes the most misunderstandings. TO be fair, I do believe that there are T's that are fairly stoic and unemotional. ISTP's and INTJ's come to mind. To say that T's don't feel emotions or F's just make a fuss because of their feelings however, is ridiculous and though a lot of people don't say that explicitly, it's quite an obvious theme in these forums.
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    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I know a lot of times when I post on here I'm not being emotional, I'm being tongue-in-cheek or exaggerating or even being ridiculous and funny and people think I'm being "emotional" because I'm an NF. It makes me wonder if I changed my user name and type if certain people would begin to read the tone of my posts differently.
    I suspect it makes a difference, and the same is true for all the functions. Each post is like clay which can be interpreted different ways. Here are a couple of examples -

    1. Posting in a detached and diplomatic manner
    If you are an F, then it is because you are polite and do not wish to offend. If you were a T, then you wouldn't be concerned about being rude or stirring the pot.
    If you are a T, then this demonstrates that you are detached and rationalistic in your thought processes and simply aren't emotionally invested.

    2. Posting in a style that pushes buttons, is generally considered rude, but is blunt and exactly what you think.
    If you are an F, then it is time to reign in that Fe.
    If you are a T, then it shows you aren't overly concerned about other people's feelings. You are tough and objective.

    There is also an overlay of content that can support one or the other interpretations of course, but far more often there is grey area. You really could look at it either way. Often it would be say 60% reasonable to interpret it one way and 40% reasonable to interpret it the other (just using percentages to show slightly more or less likely)

    There is also a funny phenomenon in which F's will tend to tell T's what they are feeling, but the reverse is also true. Far more often I've seen or had T's tell F's what their true motivations or feelings are. It's happens far more between the two functions that within. I haven't as often seen a T say it to a T, or an F to an F. I'm not sure what that is all about.
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah there are totally Ts who get sensitive and pissed about certain things, of course. That's being emotional. It's interesting to me how emo is always equated with crying or hugging kittens and puppies, but not with anger, bitterness, touchiness, etc....
    I think not counting anger, arrogance, and dominant emotions as being as subjective speaks to the larger culture. Men have traditionally been allowed to get angry or enthusiastic at sports and such and it isn't considered emotion in the same vein as sorrow or tenderness, which is more permitted in women. This is seen again in the T and F. Getting angry or becoming arrogant does not seem to be seen as subjective as it is. I would venture to suggest that anger, and even moreso arrogance, are the most subjective of the emotions because these require ego/self investment more than the other emotions. It also might be the one to most easily distort reason and yet it does not seem to call into question a person's objectivity to the same extent that a nurturing instinct or melancholy does.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annwn View Post
    I suspect it makes a difference, and the same is true for all the functions. Each post is like clay which can be interpreted different ways. Here are a couple of examples -

    1. Posting in a detached and diplomatic manner
    If you are an F, then it is because you are polite and do not wish to offend. If you were a T, then you wouldn't be concerned about being rude or stirring the pot.
    If you are a T, then this demonstrates that you are detached and rationalistic in your thought processes and simply aren't emotionally invested.
    Yes and no. It seems to me like you're comparing Fe to Te, not Fe/Fi to Te/Ti.

    Fe is more likely to seriously not want to offend or stir the pot. Fi sometimes delights in it.

    Also, Te is often detached and not emotionally involved, yes, but they also could have the motive of wanting to avoid social drama.

    2. Posting in a style that pushes buttons, is generally considered rude, but is blunt and exactly what you think.
    If you are an F, then it is time to reign in that Fe.
    If you are a T, then it shows you aren't overly concerned about other people's feelings. You are tough and objective.
    I think Fs can be unafraid to be tough or objective about certain topics. I think Fi can be unconcerned with other people's delicate sensibilities. I do agree that there are more trends toward T's being detached and wanting to be objective, and F's more or less wanting to avoid hurting other people or "teach them an ethical lesson" through an overbearing means, but it isn't the case 100% of the time with all users.

    Case in point: I've had another ENFP on here tell me that she mostly sees me use Te/Si in my posts. Another ENFP told me I use "far more Te" than she does. An ISFJ told me he agrees that he sees the Te/Si. Then I had an INTJ tell me I'm "very F". Lulz. It all comes down to perception, varying degrees of T/F, and preconceived notions of being NT or NF, male or female, past history, et al.

    There is also an overlay of content that can support one or the other interpretations of course, but far more often there is grey area. You really could look at it either way. Often it would be say 60% reasonable to interpret it one way and 40% reasonable to interpret it the other (just using percentages to show slightly more or less likely)
    I also think that NTPs are very inclined to view Fi as more irrational than Fe, and that NTJs are more likely to stereotype or keep applying a certain concept to a person because it worked in the past, even if it's actually totally wrong.

    There is also a funny phenomenon in which F's will tend to tell T's what they are feeling, but the reverse is also true. Far more often I've seen or had T's tell F's what their true motivations or feelings are. It's happens far more between the two functions that within. I haven't as often seen a T say it to a T, or an F to an F. I'm not sure what that is all about.I think not counting anger, arrogance, and dominant emotions as being as subjective speaks to the larger culture. Men have traditionally been allowed to get angry or enthusiastic at sports and such and it isn't considered emotion in the same vein as sorrow or tenderness, which is more permitted in women. This is seen again in the T and F. Getting angry or becoming arrogant does not seem to be seen as subjective as it is. I would venture to suggest that anger, and even moreso arrogance, are the most subjective of the emotions because these require ego/self investment more than the other emotions. It also might be the one to most easily distort reason and yet it does not seem to call into question a person's objectivity to the same extent that a nurturing instinct or melancholy does.
    I agree with most of this, but I don't agree that anger doesn't warp objectivity. It actually seems to me kind of ridiculous for you to say so after I had a relationship with a particularly angry person who often behaved irrationally although he was intelligent and quick and insightful when he was calm.

    Yeah, T's will tell F's what they are feeling, especially on-line. They sometimes want to assign strong, authentic emotion where there is none, just because we are Fs.

  8. #38
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Pretending you don't have feelings or emotions is the best way to ensure that they get out of hand and expressed in the worst way possible down the line. I've been making a strong effort to give my own Fi some room to breathe lately because I don't want it destroying me later in life, and it seems to be helpful so far. I'm more in touch with myself than I used to be.

    What people don't seem to understand is that the two judging functions an individual uses feed each other. Te won't get anything done if it doesn't know what Fi considers to be important in life. I'm sure it's similar for Ti and Fe.

    It is interesting though, how feeling is generally looked at negatively and thinking is not. There aren't many people who would consider "Thinker" to be an insult, yet it's the worst thing imaginable to be called a "feeler." Doesn't make much sense, does it?
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    Everyone has emotions.

    I see T's as getting more upset about emotions they can't reason out though.

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    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I agree with most of this, but I don't agree that anger doesn't warp objectivity. It actually seems to me kind of ridiculous for you to say so after I had a relationship with a particularly angry person who often behaved irrationally although he was intelligent and quick and insightful when he was calm.
    I think we agree here. I was saying that anger does warp objectivity - possibly moreso than other emotions.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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