To be serious, this communication issue is one of my bigger pet peeves. (Sorry to rant in reply to you Jen, not focused at you at all...just the topic) It is the assignment of motive and value judgments on top of a simple objective, external description that really actually devalues sim's attempt. He contaminates his own work by making presumptious statements about the intents, motives, and objectives of another type, then denies the corrective feedback he gets in return.
I have seen this a lot with respect to ENFP behaviors even out of INFPs, as well as ENTPs.
1. It is always safe to give a description of what is seen.
2. It is okay to postulate an underlying jungian mechanism.
3. It is never okay to assume you understand what the other person subjectively thinks/feels or what motivates the behavior.
4. It is never okay to tell the other person they are incorrect-as it is their head after all.
5. Pose the observation as a question. I see this behavior..does this sound correct and can you please explain how it differs/concurs with what you observe internally?Then open a dialogue...I see this which doesnt seem to match what you are saying...let them explain further...