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  1. #61
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    So do you test people just to see how far they are gonna go and what something is worth to em or do you use your judgement of worth and compare it to theirs to know when to stop?
    What are you talking about?
    Nowhere in my post did I mention "testing people." My post had nothing to do with anything like that, whatsoever.
    Let's start over.

    Someone asked my opinion, if they should do X.
    I asked them to think about what it was worth to them.
    My goal for them was to have peace of mind.
    Would taking certain actions cost them their peace of mind?
    That is what they needed to evaluate.


    It doesn't get much simpler than that.

  2. #62
    Glycerine
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    FeNiTiFiNeSiSeTe

  3. #63
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    This is how I usually test: Fi>Ne>Ti>Ni>Te=Se>Fe>Si

    But the accepted order of INFP functions makes sense to me when I view them in this light.

    Primary: Fi
    Understanding myself, what I feel-think, and the imaginative tones of Fi (as Fi can be felt in images, atmosphere, and fantasy) is definitely my comfort zone & strong suit. I think grasping meaning, finding meaning, and creating meaning to meet an ideal is pretty much a focus of my thinking. Anything that I could reason to have value would be accepted to me, and I could excel in it. School was easy - I saw value in it. I couldn't relate to people, they honestly bored me, and they constantly misinterpreted me. I didn't know how to be "appropriate" (see "Fe-tard" below). I would mainly relate to people through works of art. I could read a novel and feel understood and that I could understand. If I liked you, I'd probably draw you a picture.

    As a child, I was called ornery, and I was dead sure of what I felt to be true, but I had trouble explaining it to someone else. I was also keenly aware that these feelings did not align with other people's values very well. I was constantly creating as a child, as I needed some outlet to express who I am, how I feel, and what I liked, in terms that were relatively easy for me. The older I've gotten, the more articulate I've become, and the more I rely on words to express myself. Now, I obsess over precision of these words, but not in a Ti way, but more of a poetic, emotional way so that the tone, or the FEELING is accurate. Maybe this is Devilish Ti stepping in also though....

    Supporting: Ne
    I saw my Ne develop beyond serving my inner world when I finally began to relate to other people....it wasn't just an outlet for Fi to create, to dream of what could be, to give external shape to ideals and ideas, but a way to see the abstract connections between myself & others.

    In that sense, I think it does support primary Fi interests, be it creatively or in relationships. I can honestly say that it did not kick in with regards to connecting myself to other people until my late teens. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my inability to focus on the moment even when I feel relatively engaged by it. Everything just spurs some other idea/thought & my mind is off & running in 5 directions....I love to look at things & take in information to chew over & be inspired by. The real world is just fodder for my imagination.

    Relief: Si
    This is definitely my stress function.....I will bury my head in pleasant sensory experience which is familiar & associated with positive emotion, so as to bring back past pleasant feelings. Bust out the ice cream & the re-runs...

    I also will note small details that have changed, such as a different cheese in a favorite dish. I can tell what fabric something is by touching it, but only if I am familiar with that fabric. Once I have an expectation for something to be one way, I may count on it to be that way and feel disappointed or confused when it is not that way. This is not my general mindset though, as I'm usually more taken by novelty than nostalgia.

    In less frivolous ways, I learn using Si. It aids my Fi in finding meaning in my past, and it allows Ne to avoid possibilities that have proven to not work. Otherwise, FiNe idealism will continue to insist that the theoretical model of the world in my head SHOULD work, and the world is the problem....and Si reminds me that it didn't work in reality, so learn & move on.

    The Aspirational Role: Te
    I really see Te come out when something is important to me, and I then I can be a bit critical & demanding when it comes to efficiency and organization and other details. I start to judge based on these external measures because I almost am desperate for the importance of a Feeling to be validated in the real world. It's very immature, needless to say. On the other hand, it can also be impressive. Used properly, it aids FiNe in formatting clarity of ideas & feelings so that others can understand and appreciate them. It also means I am NOT a flaky hippy :P. I have high standards for what is important to me, and I will meet those standards without letting anything distract me. This is my ESTJ business suit, but again, it can be a fault when I'm too direct, too much to the point, too obsessed with the "cause" so that I forget about people.

    Opposing: Fe
    My Fe definitely refuses to play your game :P. I'm such a Fe-tard, I can only marvel at Fe people . The biggest puzzle for me is that people should or should not feel a certain way in reaction to something....I don't know what is appropriate, normal, or accepted in this regard, and sometimes I don't care.

    Critical Parent: Ni
    Not sure how this plays out in me....lack of foresight in other people irritates me. I'll have a paranoid sense of foreboding that doesn't play out, but just inhibits me. I've had very important moments in my life where I achieved a sort of metamorphosis of myself and my circumstances, just by a change in perspective. These have been key moments in my growth as a person, but it's difficult for me to get there. I can get sucked into the Fi-Si loop too easily.

    The Deceiving Role: Se
    Physical awkwardness? Detachment from "the moment" despite desperately wanting to be there & enjoy it? Realizing the moment actually bores me to death & being disappointed with MYSELF? Yes....

    When I do yoga, I have brief moments where I feel so connected to the physical experience that it's bizarre...it's completely unnatural for me to be intune with my physical self. It's actually refreshing, but too much for me to sustain for more than a few minutes. I also get overwhelmed very easily by external stimuli. I love sights & sounds & hustle & bustle of people, but from a safe distance, where I can slip in & out of reverie.

    The Devilish Role: Ti
    Again, I don't know how this plays out in myself....I actually can relate to Ti in many ways, but I don't know if that's just my Fi being pretty refined in its primary role paired with inferior Te.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    What are you talking about?
    Nowhere in my post did I mention "testing people." My post had nothing to do with anything like that, whatsoever.
    Let's start over.

    Someone asked my opinion, if they should do X.
    I asked them to think about what it was worth to them.
    My goal for them was to have peace of mind.
    Would taking certain actions cost them their peace of mind?
    That is what they needed to evaluate.


    It doesn't get much simpler than that.
    Thanks. Something caused me to focus more on the second part of your wording in the previous post. I am missing Se on here which makes things much harder. I cant pick up on tone, inflection, etc.
    Im out, its been fun

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