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  1. #191
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I don't what know "social rules" you are referring to as far as inside jokes are concerned. You want me to explain what an inside joke is? I've already stated that I was joking about the stereotypical Fe herd mentality. Yes, I think the lack of body language and tone of voice would have made my comment more indicative of a joke.
    Yes...I would say its a joke on whats "known", not a social standard.

    edit: like an acceptance of what is and can get to the point of playing around with it jokingly. Both within and without(with others...outside of ourselves )
    Im out, its been fun

  2. #192
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I agree there's the possibility of O's reply being facetious.

    Regardless, at the core I get a sense of her being frustrated at not being able to get her message across and feeling somewhat attacked in trying to do so. I do genuinely think her feelings are hurt here.

    I don't think that is isolated or specifically directed to only protean though. It's an overall sense of being overwhelmed with the reactions to her thoughts in general, and I suspect that's why she's not been present here in thread since that post.

    She needs time to work through how she feels about what has been said and regroup.

    That's why I am interested to know what was in the two deleted posts protean refers to.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I agree there's the possibility of O's reply being facetious.

    Regardless, at the core I get a sense of her being frustrated at not being able to get her message across and feeling somewhat attacked in trying to do so. I do genuinely think her feelings are hurt here.

    I don't think that is isolated or specifically directed to only protean though. It's an overall sense of being overwhelmed with the reactions to her thoughts in general, and I suspect that's why she's not been present here in thread since that post.

    She needs time to work through how she feels about what has been said and regroup.
    I could see the logical use of several angles so I couldnt form an opinion on the use. In this case I prefer to just take a back seat and see where it ends up going. My other option would be to just pick one and run with it to see the response.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I agree there's the possibility of O's reply being facetious.

    Regardless, at the core I get a sense of her being frustrated at not being able to get her message across and feeling somewhat attacked in trying to do so. I do genuinely think her feelings are hurt here.

    I don't think that is isolated or specifically directed to only protean though. It's an overall sense of being overwhelmed with the reactions to her thoughts in general, and I suspect that's why she's not been present here in thread since that post.

    She needs time to work through how she feels about what has been said and regroup.

    That's why I am interested to know what was in the two deleted posts protean refers to.
    I second this notion.

  5. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I've already stated that I was joking about the stereotypical Fe herd mentality. Yes, I think the lack of body language and tone of voice would have made my comment more indicative of a joke.
    It is telling that it was pointed to and 'called out' with the perception of--"See! There's freakin' Fe group mentality again! My perspective on Fe was right all along! God! "

    I don't mean to imply that I was 'above' not seeing the joke myself. Because I didn't see it at first, either

  6. #196
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I agree there's the possibility of O's reply being facetious.

    Regardless, at the core I get a sense of her being frustrated at not being able to get her message across and feeling somewhat attacked in trying to do so. I do genuinely think her feelings are hurt here.

    I don't think that is isolated or specifically directed to only protean though. It's an overall sense of being overwhelmed with the reactions to her thoughts in general, and I suspect that's why she's not been present here in thread since that post.

    She needs time to work through how she feels about what has been said and regroup.

    That's why I am interested to know what was in the two deleted posts protean refers to.
    Now HERE is a possible Fe/Fi difference!

    When my POV is being severely disagreed with (believe me, I know all about that), I don't feel like it's a "wound" that needs to be nursed. It doesn't require a therapeutic massage and incense! I feel like I put it out there into the public domain and something is going to get said about it. I've put in emergency exits for myself when things start hitting me personally--when I need to stop participating in a thread if it's pushing my buttons. but seriously, I don't expect to be gently patted on the head and coddled. This has more to do with my relationship to internet forums and attachment to my ideas, I suppose. Things I don't want criticized I hold to myself. My preciouses....

    Additionally, is this a sign of a person who doesn't tolerate being disagreed with very well? And what about my (possible/hypothetical) feelings of frustration? Because I didn't make a dramatic exit from the thread they don't exist? Squeaky wheels!

    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    It is telling that it was pointed to and 'called out' with the perception of--"See! There's freakin' Fe group mentality again! My perspective on Fe was right all along! God! "

    I don't mean to imply that I was 'above' not seeing the joke myself. Because I didn't see it at first, either
    Yeah, I have pretty deadpan delivery. People tend to not tell when I'm joking.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    And what about my (possible/hypothetical) feelings of frustration? Because I didn't make a dramatic exit from the thread they don't exist?
    You seem plenty frustrated to me...


  8. #198
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Well, no, it's not about coddling ... that's not really it. And O will take lots of stuff head-on and not bail out. I am assuming something has hit a soft spot is all; I have an idea of what that is, but don't want to infer too much.

    I hear what you are saying about your ideas, and your feelings about them, and the way you self-regulate when any of your buttons are being pushed. Even in print you are a powerful force; I can only imagine how tremendous your energy is IRL. I sense your passionate feelings on this subject as well and respect them deeply.

    I focussed on O here because she's the one who's backed out and the rest of the participants are still in the ring and ready to go (so to speak). The why of that matters to me; I don't see that action as her needing to be babied. I see it as potentially something (that if addressed) can lead to greater self-discovery. I want to get her back in. I want to support her so she can express that inner stuff ... Fi users can find it hard to articulate at times, and can be easily squished by strong Te or Fe convictions.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  9. #199
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    I'm never afraid of over-inference: correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't she feel that all the Fe-users were essentially ganging up on her?

  10. #200
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ more than that, but that's all I am going to say on the subject.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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