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Thread: the Fi bias

  1. #21
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Let's hope this thread ends right here.

    No offense intended ZBuck for starting this thread, I know you are simply looking to understand. However, there are many, many threads on this site that critique each function from the opposite perspective, each accusing the other of a variety of "sins".

    Let's all respect each other's reality instead, isn't that the nobler path? And the path that works best for us all, together?
    Sorry, Peacebaby. I really did just want to understand. Whenever this Fe/Fi thing comes up, it really grates me. I just wanted to figure out why it happens and why it grates me, and I was having trouble getting 'there' by myself. I knew if I could just understand why, then the comments wouldn't bother me anymore. Seymour's comment actually really shed some light on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    But people still insist on mixing Feeling functions with emotions and depth or breath of emotion. Which it just isn't. Therefore conversations that suggest one function has more ability to feel [insert any emotion here] will of course cause angst because the claim is ridiculous, insanely subjective and impossible to prove. Therefore: butthurt.
    ^and this too. It put something into words that I was having trouble articulating myself.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  2. #22
    Glycerine
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    I apologize for the abrasiveness. I was focusing too much on the individual for Fi users. lol I have had close relationships with 4 IXFPs (3 INFPs, 1 ISFP) and got below the surface with 2 INFPs and 2 or 3 EXFPs (2 ENFPs, 1 ESFP) so it would be bad news if we weren't on the same page.

  3. #23
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    That. Fi and Fe are subjective and irrational, they're deeply personal. Subject matter that fits that criteria is often less likely to stop a person being defensive and look at an alternative pov if it lends even a sniff of offence to their preference. Basically Fi and Fe get butthurt.
    You've always done a wonderful job emulating what a dom-F is like, especially when they are part of any particular thread.

  4. #24
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think it's actually a little dismissive to accept someone's reality without understanding why it's their reality. I don't have any beef with Fi users, but I think there's a lot that could potentially come out of the conversation, even if there's a bit of conflict along the way. There are enough mature, thoughtful people here that it seems like it should be possible to not feature the more highly emotional perspectives and also not have to abandon a conversation that could be enlightening. Sim isn't here and I haven't seen a lot of scratchiness towards either side yet on this thread.

  5. #25
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I really don't find Fe & Fi at odds that much in reality, and as a Fi-dom, I don't have any problem with Fe people (not more than any other function or type). A function can appear quite differently depending on what other functions it is paired with anyway.

    I don't Fe as any more or less shallow than Fi, and as mentioned, the authenticity thing can be more a matter of what is valued, and not about who is actually authentic. A function is NOT a person anyway.

    I notice that when these functions are "pitted against" each other, it's often by someone who is not even an F type, or the person has some personal negative experience with an individual who is opposite of what their Feeling function is, and they have some less than pure emotional motivation behind their claims. Funny how often some of these people are NOT even F types....I've seen Fe & Fi discussions develop very peacefully until one of those people steps in.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  6. #26
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    Yeah I don't feel pitted against Fe people in my daily life. If anything, best case scenario I bask in their warmth and get addicted to the sort of attention they give me to the point that it's painful for it to be taken away, in the middle ground admire their different way of dealing things than mine, or else worst case note our differences in approaches to ethics and attempt to work around it.

    I've also learned through life experience that I can feel as icky and annoyed, etc. around an Fi person I don't like as an Fe person I dislike, it's just two sides of the same coin.

  7. #27
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    You've always done a wonderful job emulating what a dom-F is like, especially when they are part of any particular thread.
    Huh?

  8. #28
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think it's actually a little dismissive to accept someone's reality without understanding why it's their reality. I don't have any beef with Fi users, but I think there's a lot that could potentially come out of the conversation, even if there's a bit of conflict along the way. There are enough mature, thoughtful people here that it seems like it should be possible to not feature the more highly emotional perspectives and also not have to abandon a conversation that could be enlightening. Sim isn't here and I haven't seen a lot of scratchiness towards either side yet on this thread.
    Me too. And discussing the contention on the actual battlefield (the empathy/sympathy threads) seemed kind of pointless. It just seemed like there might be a better chance at understanding in a new discussion aimed at what's sitting underneath, without even bringing empathy/sympathy into the picture. And I also knew I wasn't the only person around here who was getting annoyed, so I thought a thread might benefit others as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I really don't find Fe & Fi at odds that much in reality, and as a Fi-dom, I don't have any problem with Fe people (not more than any other function or type). A function can appear quite differently depending on what other functions it is paired with anyway.
    Me neither. At least not any more than I find myself at odds with other Fe types.

    the authenticity thing can be more a matter of what is valued, and not about who is actually authentic. A function is NOT a person anyway.
    That's a really good point.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  9. #29
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I'll echo Seymour, and add:

    I think the reason that it surfaces more with Fe and Fi is because Fi is described as being 'authentic', aka, in the MBTI descriptions as well. It tends to not be mentionned with other functions, including Fe, as it's not relevant to the nature of the beastie in the description. Fi however, has the innate need to be authentic. And, as mentionned before, it's not always a good thing, and can cause a lot of trouble.

    Add to that that a lot of Fi-users like understanding others and often don't get Fe that well, and you've got yourself a forum board of inquisitive and also some frustrated Fi-users trying to flesh out the differences between Fi and Fe in detail, as they do seem to overlap on things or rather, people do have both functions, it's just hard to differentiate where Fe ends and Fi begins at times. If you don't have a lot of Fe, it's hard to identify it
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  10. #30
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    Fe gets called "fake" or "shallow" and Fi gets called "selfish" or "pretentious" - both of these are terrible, even hurtful, generalizations.

    However, I'll give an example of why an Fi user might say Fe was shallow - let's say certain Fi user will only spend a great deal of time and energy on someone they strongly prefer the company of, and they think the same is true of a certain Fe user, only to find that the Fe user gives that particular warmth to many people and the Fi person isn't as "special" to the Fe person as the Fe person is to the Fi person. So then the Fi user might accuse the Fe user of being "shallow" since they could give a level of warmth to several people that the Fi user can only give to people they strongly prefer.

    I'm just saying that might be ONE explanation, aside from the usual stereotypes about expected social behavior.

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