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  1. #61
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    So, you've figured your opposite type. What you think of them?
    Mine is IxFJ...but I feel like ISFJ is more alien to me...Two were my best friends at one point. One is still my best friend, the other just became...well, not my friend. I'd say they're pretty cool, very different, but pretty cool.

    Do you feel that type is shrouded in mystery?
    Oh most definitely! You have no idea how much I have quarreled with my friends about the silliest things.

    What strikes as the oddest thing in them?
    Their beliefs in things, for the most part. I find them to be very 'moral' and about doing the right thing (which is totally out of the ballpark of my understanding, there's no right or wrong in my mind), I guess, like my one friend is a vegetarian because she doesn't want the animals to be hurt, but hey, that's her belief, I'm not going to go shove beef in her face. I just think it's a rather absurd reason, and I've told her that.
    Can you begin to understand what their life is about?

    Do you think it's a more or less commonly understood type than yours?
    Definitely not. I'd say they're much more popular than me, and people understand them a lot better than anyone could understand me, so that's a no.

    What kind of societies or groups these people participate in?
    The ones on Earth, presumably.

    Do you see those types a lot?
    Neh

    How do you act around them?
    Like I act around everyone else, although I do tend to be more wary around them about what I say. Apparently I offend them...a lot.

    What would you think they think of you?
    Well, one thinks I'm awesome...the other, not so much.
    I'd say most of them would think I'm awesome

  2. #62
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Huh. Hotmale, I really appreciate your responses. You have a really insightful understanding of INFPs.

    Quote Originally Posted by hotmale View Post
    What strikes as the oddest thing in them?
    I found it is best to be straightforward and logical with them, as I think INFPs don't respond to emotional threats and psychological manipulation unless they are sexually turned on by it. (don't ask...)
    Hahaha, this is so true!! I think because of the NF we typically end up noticing inconsistencies and questioning the nature and origin of emotional threats and psych manipulation... I suspect that if you told an INFP a blatant lie in a straightforward and logical manner, we'd believe it with much greater consistency, lol. And yeah, toying with me emotionally is kind of sexy

    Objectively speaking, I think we ESTJs are more often misunderstood. Our motives always have some sort of "symbolic" motive when oftentimes, we are being looked at through a macro lens- and the whole picture of who we are is overlooked and replaced with general stereotypes.
    This might be where I fall short in my analyzing. But whatever, I'll give it a shot! I had a boss who was an ESTJ, which was very enlightening.

    Here goes: ESTJ

    So, you've figured your opposite type. What you think of them?
    They are much more practically-minded than I am, and more anchored in now. I appreciate their abilities to unify and get things done. I feel like a lot of INFPs would tend to say ESTJs care about superficial issues, but we miss that the ESTJ recognizes the details as part of the whole, whereas INFPs readily ignore details we determine to be non-essential. INFPs prioritize very differently, and I can get frustrated when ESTJs get upset about the smaller things when I feel like I'm using my time and energy for something that will be more important in the long run. And I imagine that ESTJs can get frustrated when I up and decide that certain things are more important to me, while things that are important to them get overlooked.

    I think that INFP also looks at ESTJ as having trouble relating with people, because we think of people's feelings being of similar importance as principles, and we judge ESTJ by how others react to them emotionally. Also, I think that ESTJs generally connect at a different level than us - that of community organization. INFPs seem to grasp one-on-one and global/universal connection, and miss the middle layers of group connection that ESTJ is such a natural at.

    Do you feel that type is shrouded in mystery?
    I think that to an INFP, it can seem like ESTJ doesn't have much depth of caring, and nitpicks (1) to assert authority and (2) because they can. But INFP and ESTJ actually seem to be quite similar in the sense that strong purpose guides our lives. We just manifest that very differently.

    What strikes as the oddest thing in them?
    Haha, that they're really kind of similar to INFP. Purpose-driven and stubborn.

    Can you begin to understand what their life is about?
    They seem to be very much about actively making a good life - clear, efficient, secure, social, enjoyable, and moral. I think it's very similar to INFP's idealizations, but we see our visions of goodness implemented differently. I think ESTJs are more likely to climb to positions of power and make change from the top down, but INFPs are more readily able to influence people at the personal level and make change from the bottom up.

    Do you think it's a more or less commonly understood type than yours?
    Eh, I think we both have points at which we're more and less understood. It depends on the type of the people trying to understand us, I guess.

    What kind of societies or groups these people participate in?
    Community groups, religious groups, teams at work. Businesses. Things that I wish I was better at being a part of, lol.

    Do you see those types a lot?
    Actually, I don't know that many. Just a few, and only one very well.

    How do you act around them?
    I think they ground me, but can frustrate me. Around them, I'm more logical, more reserved emotionally, and more productive. Because they're extraverted, I feel the need to open up more. If we share a common cause, we can make a good team. I've found discussion between me and ESTJs to generally start with us both feeling slightly annoyed at one another and ending with common understanding as well as better appreciation for one another's strong points. Interaction with ESTJs is usually a little draining for me, though, because I feel like I'm always on the verge of failure (which, if I understand this correctly, makes my Fi super anxious).

    What would you think they think of you?
    On the downside, that we can get lost in our pet projects and be inconsistent. On the bright side, that we're skilled at reading people and assessing the big picture.

  3. #63
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Do you feel that type is shrouded in mystery?
    I think that to an INFP, it can seem like ESTJ doesn't have much depth of caring, and nitpicks (1) to assert authority and (2) because they can. But INFP and ESTJ actually seem to be quite similar in the sense that strong purpose guides our lives. We just manifest that very differently.

    What strikes as the oddest thing in them?
    Haha, that they're really kind of similar to INFP. Purpose-driven and stubborn.

    Can you begin to understand what their life is about?
    They seem to be very much about actively making a good life - clear, efficient, secure, social, enjoyable, and moral. I think it's very similar to INFP's idealizations, but we see our visions of goodness implemented differently. I think ESTJs are more likely to climb to positions of power and make change from the top down, but INFPs are more readily able to influence people at the personal level and make change from the bottom up.
    This post was great! These portions seem especially accurate to me. I know I've said this before somewhere, but my INFP BFF and I come to the same conclusions so often, but find completely different ways of getting there.

    And I hate the idea that ESTJs don't care. I'm a very passionate person, I'm just not as attuned to others' emotions as some people are.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  4. #64
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    This post was great! These portions seem especially accurate to me. I know I've said this before somewhere, but my INFP BFF and I come to the same conclusions so often, but find completely different ways of getting there.

    And I hate the idea that ESTJs don't care. I'm a very passionate person, I'm just not as attuned to others' emotions as some people are.
    I'm glad that most of these perceptions were accurate... I think INFPs and ESTJs are more alike than any of us usually realize! That's cool about your BFF, I bet you guys push each other to grow a lot. :]

    Actually, that's one thing both types are really good at, isn't it? Unifying. Bringing people together and helping one another recognize our shared strengths and similarities.

    I can imagine that it would be pretty frustrating to have people think you don't care, too. I actually really disliked my boss because I thought she was petty, until I realized she had this vast underlying set of values that was driving everything she did. And that those values were really similar to mine! On the other hand, we INFPs get told that we care too much, lol.

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