yeah, INFJs are very interesting to me, because they are so graceful, yet i always get the feeling that there's more to them... as there obviously is! it's just for me, it's hard to get to know them... they seem very caring and genuinely interested in you, though.
You can tell the difference between an IxFJ and ExFJ so easily. An ExFJ is not nearly as deliberate and graceful. The Fe is carefully directed, rather than aimed around you.
If I were to go by what people first notice, and notice from a distance IRL, I would think I had Fe (which I did, in fact, before I came here): warm, friendly, talkative, devoted, outspoken, bossy. I remember once when we did a group project for my appalachian studies class I kind of took control of it, no one really seemed to mind, but a couple people told me to calm down they would have the stuff on time (at the last fucking minute). That might be tertiary Te, though.
You know, then later when people get to know me all the talk about how weird or 'creative' I am starts. I also get called "quick learner" a lot and people usually trust me to handle things, like they think I'm competent or in control. In fact, I can trick people so much sometimes into thinking I'm in control IRL that it freaks them out to find out how emo and sensitive I really am. I can hide it well, depends on how you know me.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
I think my aux Ti is as visible as my dom Ne and if pushed to pick one over the other I suspect most people, esp in a work environment, would see my Ti more as my Ne connections are often unspoken.
People who know me and know MBTI wouldn't been confused about my dominant function but esp in that work environment I can be pretty closed, private, anti-social, inexpressive emotionally and read as direct and cold.
Also in other people I know who's types are verified and undisputed:
ISFP: Se is waaaaaay more obvious
INFJ: Ni is clearer
ISTJ: Te for one, both for the other
ISFJ: Fe comes out strong
ISTP: Ti is way clearer
... in other words I don't think your extroverted function is always going to be more visible, it depends on what you show people, it's behaviour based and therefore not accurate or consistent, people are complex.
Fe supposedly comes off strong but Ni seems pretty hidden unless you read my academic papers. But then some people see a strong Ni+Ti combo with semi hidden Fe (pretty abrasive sometimes). It really depends on the situation.
Compared to my ENFJ teacher, I seem to engage more in a Ni+Ti hat while he wears a much bigger Fe+Ni hat. Let's just say he's a lot more personable while I come off pretty critical/analytical.
Most of the INFPs I know seem to have really strong Ne over Fi. A couple are insanely Fi that the Ne seems subtle.
I have a eNTP teacher: He's pretty personable, is a discordant speaker, really tenderhearted (he will sound staunch with rules but he gives in pretty easily. At first glance, he comes off like a F type with strong N (that is if you don't come off as a complete moron... which I did.. lol) but once you start listening to him extendedly, it's rather clear that he's NT of some sort.