i learned early on that i was hypersensitive in a certain way and that i should find appropriate ways to deal with it. typically, i just create something like a poem or a drawing, and that's that. if i find myself really offended or unable to forget about something, i just tell the person in question that i felt slighted and why i did, while also making the disclaimer that i realize that much of what i have experienced may have been reactionary and not directly tied to anything they intentionally did. this can seem unnecessarily complicated to some, but i find that regardless of that most people find more relief in knowing what's up with me, rather than sensing something is off and not knowing how to inquire about it.
i try not to over-personalize what i hear or read, but i feel the need to express that not all enneagram 4 INFPs are exploding messes of emotionality without a sense of what is appropriate or considerate to others. most INFPs are actually more concerned with others than it seems. we use "i" language because we trust it more and believe in the supremacy of human subjectivity, i guess (and not so much because we can't see things from or appreciate other perspectives).
also, i do agree there is a tendency to read things into others' words and/or actions that are not really there, but i also believe that sometimes i do pick up on something that is legitimately there and people find this uncomfortable. sometimes i suspect the bad rap we INFP's get is related to others being unnerved by our tendency to access their Fi realms so to speak, even when they have it well on the back burner themselves. i think in these cases sometimes the other person freaks out, feels sort of violated or judged, and thinks the INFP is digging into someplace we don't belong. what some people may not consider is that we are not intentionally doing it, even if we are doing it... it just happens, much in the way an impersonal analysis might happen for a Ti-dom without conscious planning or intent.
the most threatening part of being Fi-dom that i have noted is that people expect me to be a sort of moral/ethical police, or simply that i will harshly judge their human mistakes and therefore tread lightly with me, avoiding too much disclosure for fear of judgment or condemnation.
the truth is that the severity of Fi is mostly directed toward the self, and that the only real hope for others actions is in the abstract; that they be somewhat thoughtful, and not particularly damaging in nature. there is no long list of Do's and Don'ts!
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