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Thread: Fi Doms & Subs

  1. #51
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    i learned early on that i was hypersensitive in a certain way and that i should find appropriate ways to deal with it. typically, i just create something like a poem or a drawing, and that's that. if i find myself really offended or unable to forget about something, i just tell the person in question that i felt slighted and why i did, while also making the disclaimer that i realize that much of what i have experienced may have been reactionary and not directly tied to anything they intentionally did. this can seem unnecessarily complicated to some, but i find that regardless of that most people find more relief in knowing what's up with me, rather than sensing something is off and not knowing how to inquire about it.

    i try not to over-personalize what i hear or read, but i feel the need to express that not all enneagram 4 INFPs are exploding messes of emotionality without a sense of what is appropriate or considerate to others. most INFPs are actually more concerned with others than it seems. we use "i" language because we trust it more and believe in the supremacy of human subjectivity, i guess (and not so much because we can't see things from or appreciate other perspectives).

    also, i do agree there is a tendency to read things into others' words and/or actions that are not really there, but i also believe that sometimes i do pick up on something that is legitimately there and people find this uncomfortable. sometimes i suspect the bad rap we INFP's get is related to others being unnerved by our tendency to access their Fi realms so to speak, even when they have it well on the back burner themselves. i think in these cases sometimes the other person freaks out, feels sort of violated or judged, and thinks the INFP is digging into someplace we don't belong. what some people may not consider is that we are not intentionally doing it, even if we are doing it... it just happens, much in the way an impersonal analysis might happen for a Ti-dom without conscious planning or intent.

    the most threatening part of being Fi-dom that i have noted is that people expect me to be a sort of moral/ethical police, or simply that i will harshly judge their human mistakes and therefore tread lightly with me, avoiding too much disclosure for fear of judgment or condemnation.

    the truth is that the severity of Fi is mostly directed toward the self, and that the only real hope for others actions is in the abstract; that they be somewhat thoughtful, and not particularly damaging in nature. there is no long list of Do's and Don'ts!

  2. #52
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It's interesting, because I don't see any other types having a similar issue like this. NTJs and NFJs get along great (and usually prefer each other for romance). SFPs and STPs are fine, STJs and SFJs are fine, etc. But why would NTP and NFP turn out this way so commonly? Those other types *should* have similar issues, similar perception but judging it different. Yet the NPs are the only ones who conflict from it.
    I've seen many, many instances IRL which contradict this. I really don't think there is any rule. My ISFJ mom frequently gets offended by STJs; they can be too harsh for her & she takes it personally. My ENTP dad & ESFP sister have waaaaay more drama than I do with him; I ignore him much more easily.

    The only place I've seen the theme of NFP/ENTP miscommunication is this message board. I say "ENTP" because I don't even notice the trend with INTPs. I get along swimmingly with many online.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    INFP type 9 ftw!

    It's the 4s that cause most of the trouble
    I'll cut you.

  4. #54
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    ESTP's are devoid of having to deal with "feelings" for the most part.

    We just roll them up in the melee that is our lives and cast the whole damn thing forward come hell or high water.

    We have really deep feelings, but they somehow remain subordinate to the total nature of our other psychobabble. At least that's how it seems to me.

    There is one critical point in my life where my "feelings" reared their head and commanded I recognize them, so I did, and we have been at peace ever since, and now they pop up and tell me what I need to know and then politely retire to the twilight of my consciousness enjoying the view of what everything else is stirring up, in a restful slumber...
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

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    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  5. #55
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    -NFPs seem a bit more eloquent willing to be verbosely wrong when it comes to talking about Fi, so their responses are probably more interesting and insightful.
    Fixed.

  6. #56

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    Why did NFP use such subjective, concrete, personal examples? Then the SFP that posted used more objective, abstract ideas on the subject (apart from Jeff and pies, which is kind of abstract in it's own way). I know that the archetype of NFP is like that. But shouldn't N as an abstract function play out differently?

    Using people from your environment you have typed as objective examples of type traits seems really weird to me.

    So how does Ne affect Fi and Se affect Fi? Are there any real sources of information on how they affect each other?

  7. #57
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Why did NFP use such subjective, concrete, personal examples? Then the SFP that posted used more objective, abstract ideas on the subject (apart from Jeff and pies, which is kind of abstract in it's own way). I know that the archetype of NFP is like that. But shouldn't N as an abstract function play out differently?

    Using people from your environment you have typed as objective examples of type traits seems really weird to me.
    I think it's Si coming in to play? I think NFPs will see one or two specific examples of something IRL, store these examples via Si, and then Ne+Fi will extrapolate a pattern from these examples and will attempt to apply that pattern to people in a more universal manner. Then when we have to explain our theory, we'll pull out anecdotal (Si) evidence to support it because we're trying to show other people that our theory has some grounding in reality but that's the only connection to reality that it actually has.

    I don't understand Se + Ni that well but I'm guessing since Se is more about being in the moment and less about having a databank that SFPs actually end up turning to Ni to come up with answers to these kinds of questions because you guys aren't pulling from an Si databank?

    Err, that's my sketchy 2 cents anyway *retreats into the shadows to wait for more answers about Ne+Fi vs. Se+Fi*

  8. #58
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Why did NFP use such subjective, concrete, personal examples? Then the SFP that posted used more objective, abstract ideas on the subject (apart from Jeff and pies, which is kind of abstract in it's own way). I know that the archetype of NFP is like that. But shouldn't N as an abstract function play out differently?

    Using people from your environment you have typed as objective examples of type traits seems really weird to me.

    So how does Ne affect Fi and Se affect Fi? Are there any real sources of information on how they affect each other?
    They are examples to illustrate a point. The examples are not used to define the type, but to reference noted patterns of behavior among people who are that type. My main point was, NFPs are not the devil incarnate, and SFPs can sometimes be sucky to deal with also.

    My other main point is, outside of this message board, I have not seen anything to justify this theory that NFPs & NTPs are naturally at odds. I don't buy it, basically. I think it's just a bunch of bored people squabbling.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #59
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    To me there is this general, inaccurate assumption that INFP dumps emo all around the world and I feel compelled to publically reject that view. Because my life personal experience is very contrary to this representation; I am very private and hold my feelings even closer to me. You may never know what I really feel because I keep any external expression tightly reigned in; like a delicate flower or crystal vase, emotions don't react well to rough handling. So I tend to their care myself. And trust only a very very select few to even see these precious glimpses into my soul.
    This is me in offline life.

    it isn't even really a choice, it is that I am unable to express outwardly and my emotions burn inside of me.

    Really, the reverse happens. People dump their emo on me all the time, even Thinkers will open up when no one else is a around and leave me all .

  10. #60
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This is me in offline life.

    it isn't even really a choice, it is that I am unable to express outwardly and my emotions burn inside of me.

    Really, the reverse happens. People dump their emo on me all the time, even Thinkers will open up when no one else is a around and leave me all .
    Yeah, same here. I'm always accused of being "guarded", and I seem to be the venting ground for everyone I cross paths with. And I AM an enneagram type 4, albeit with a heavy 5 wing.

    I think INFPs may vent online because it's anonymous, which gives a sense of safeness. Plus, they're interacting with other INFPs & getting that rare chance to relate to people.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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