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Thread: Fi Doms & Subs

  1. #21
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    My ISFP step-dad is moodier than any PMSing woman and has a hideous temper and cruel sarcastic streak (ENTJ shadow is scary....). This idea that ISFPs are just happy go lucky is ridiculous.

    My ESFP sister & a good ESFP friend of mine are far more delusional and out of touch with reality than me on any day....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    My ISFP step-dad is moodier than any PMSing woman and has a hideous temper and cruel sarcastic streak (ENTJ shadow is scary....). This idea that ISFPs are just happy go lucky is ridiculous.

    My ESFP sister & a good ESFP friend of mine are far more delusional and out of touch with reality than me on any day....
    I think these descriptions are very apt. My high school bf AND the longest relationship of my adult life AND my mother are all ESFPs, and yes, I identify with all you say here.

  3. #23
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    My main issue with NFPs (irl and on this forum) has to do with a huge communication gap. The Ne is that is coupled with an NFP's Fi causes NFPs to make emotional connections and see emotional implications (hostile, hurtful, condescending, etc.) where I do not intend for there to be any emotional ties at all. My blunt style of communication lacks a certain amount of nicety to it, and this lack of nicety, for an imaginative Ne-er, is invariably viewed as [insert some negative emotion here].

    SFPs, on the other hand, are more focused on what's actually apparent in the here and now instead of attempting to read into potential emotional connections and possible paths to hostility. They don't take offense until they've been given a clear-cut reason to be offended, rather than (mis)reading into the possible underlying connotation.

    So yes, I think when I complain of Fi in regards to how I don't get along with it, I am typically speaking of Fi coupled with Ne.

    (This isn't to say that SFPs, or any other type for that matter, don't generally possess features that bother me as well. I just think that the part of Fi that annoys me is more prominent in NFPs than SFPs.)
    Yeah I guess I can see that. I have the same issue with ENTPs and their NeTi..they see logical and social implications that just *aren't* there for me and assume that I did something for motivations I never had...whereas with STPs their Ti takes apart my behavior and goes..ok, I need more information and they *ask* what my logic was there and don't assume *anything*.

    Because Ne does the whole pattern seeking thing, together with Si, you base it often on patterns you've already seen before and the implications those patterns had. Se seems to just check what's in the moment and how to practically get the jist of it to actually get somewhere. I think Ne, when backed up by an openminded Fi or Ti can step out of its own perspective and truly see things from all angles, beyond Si's experiences so far. But it takes time and effort, to dig that deep and truly understand. And it is far easier to see a similar pattern and assume it'll give the same outcome as before and not doublecheck if everything really *is* the same. And that's where jumping to conclusions comes in.

    Se is thorough in the moment, right there and then, so doesn't suffer from prejudices previously perceived, usually and is really good at solving the problem at hand or understanding that one part being discussed right there and then. Its downside seems to be (correct me if I'm wrong here) that it takes snap-shots and doesn't build an entire image, which means less info in the long run.

    Ne on the other hand can be abused by a narrowminded Ti/Fi or a frightened/irritated Si, which makes it really tempting to jump to conclusions. When used properly though, it can go very much in depth and build a very extensive, rather accurate (motion) picture based on relatively little information.
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  4. #24
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Fi in SFPs vs Fi in NFPs has always presented it to me differently irl. Say something has happened to upset a Fi user, this is my experience;

    NFPs come across protective, guarded but not vocal about the issue until it's been bothering them for a while so if something has bothered them I may 'vibe' that something's wrong and feel like I've overstepped a boundary but asking a direct question will either be fobbed off or make things worse so I no longer know where I stand and what is acceptable which causes me to be wary and back off, depending on who they are and how and what they reacting to it may even upset me.

    SFPs will usually distract me with something else unrelated as they don't want to focus on it or react immediately in an unmissable way, if they don't 'explode' so to speak I will not 'vibe' that I've bothered them unless they mention something.

    Reading this thread I can see a micro version of that happening here (from my perspective), Quin and Wolfy give some ideas, Jeffster responds with something totally random, all posts leave me expecting that I can give my view, but a few NFPs suggest things that put me on edge, like if I say something contrary to their beliefs they will personally be offended and while I understand having to deal with stupid negative topics coming up again and again and getting sick of it, I don't understand the defensiveness so I don't know where I stand. I simply haven't experienced that uncertainty with SFPs.

  5. #25
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    My main issue with NFPs (irl and on this forum) has to do with a huge communication gap. The Ne is that is coupled with an NFP's Fi causes NFPs to make emotional connections and see emotional implications (hostile, hurtful, condescending, etc.) where I do not intend for there to be any emotional ties at all. My blunt style of communication lacks a certain amount of nicety to it, and this lack of nicety, for an imaginative Ne-er, is invariably viewed as [insert some negative emotion here].
    This makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Reading this thread I can see a micro version of that happening here (from my perspective), Quin and Wolfy give some ideas, Jeffster responds with something totally random, all posts leave me expecting that I can give my view, but a few NFPs suggest things that put me on edge, like if I say something contrary to their beliefs they will personally be offended and while I understand having to deal with stupid negative topics coming up again and again and getting sick of it, I don't understand the defensiveness so I don't know where I stand. I simply haven't experienced that uncertainty with SFPs.
    So most enfps know we read into things-we understand tesla's point above, thus as you communicate, perhaps it is best not to worry about where you stand and just post what you think?? There will always be offense but inherently some form of communication.

    Also-I think enfps can have a very terse Te bite in text and we shoot off at the mouth-or the keyboard-thus perhaps you guys Fe-read anger/hostility/combatitiveness into the situation sometimes? I dunno, just a suggestion.

    For the record I have seen some batshit crazy ESFPs. They have the same anger/bitchslap issue ENFPs can have but the ENFP version is usually cuter and involves foot stomping. The ESFP version can escalate to physical violence.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    The ESFP version can escalate to physical violence.
    This.

  7. #27
    Circus Maximus Sarcasticus's Avatar
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    Damn. I thought this was going to be about INFJs that are into BDSM. *leaves*

  8. #28
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    My main issue with NFPs (irl and on this forum) has to do with a huge communication gap. The Ne is that is coupled with an NFP's Fi causes NFPs to make emotional connections and see emotional implications (hostile, hurtful, condescending, etc.) where I do not intend for there to be any emotional ties at all. My blunt style of communication lacks a certain amount of nicety to it, and this lack of nicety, for an imaginative Ne-er, is invariably viewed as [insert some negative emotion here].
    It's interesting, because I don't see any other types having a similar issue like this. NTJs and NFJs get along great (and usually prefer each other for romance). SFPs and STPs are fine, STJs and SFJs are fine, etc. But why would NTP and NFP turn out this way so commonly? Those other types *should* have similar issues, similar perception but judging it different. Yet the NPs are the only ones who conflict from it.

    It really must be Ne. As you said, Fi with Ne assumes emotional implications. And that's because Ne is all about thinking out of context (while Se is thinking about the current context). And Fi would react to the NFPs perception of the implication, which when Ne is given room to wander, it will. And that's where the problem lies. With someone's blunt style, they will think that the person is trying to be hurtful. You know, all that jazz.

    SFPs, on the other hand, are more focused on what's actually apparent in the here and now instead of attempting to read into potential emotional connections and possible paths to hostility. They don't take offense until they've been given a clear-cut reason to be offended, rather than (mis)reading into the possible underlying connotation.
    Yup!

    What people don't get is that TPs and FPs can get together just fine, but ENTP + NFP doesn't usually work out as well as the others. So when ENTPs experience this, their immature Si and their Ne makes them assume that all FPs are going to be bad partners (just how I see it work out on here anyway). It's not Fi that causes problems, it's Ne. And it's really obviously that too. When NFPs and ENTPs talk about what they don't like about each other, they label it "Ti" or "Fi" and then start talking about NeTi or Fi + Ne. You'd think that these hardcore rationalists would be able to notice that obvious fact.
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  9. #29
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Reading this thread I can see a micro version of that happening here (from my perspective), Quin and Wolfy give some ideas, Jeffster responds with something totally random, all posts leave me expecting that I can give my view, but a few NFPs suggest things that put me on edge, like if I say something contrary to their beliefs they will personally be offended and while I understand having to deal with stupid negative topics coming up again and again and getting sick of it, I don't understand the defensiveness so I don't know where I stand. I simply haven't experienced that uncertainty with SFPs.
    Haha. Yeah. I was thinking that too.
    -end of thread-

  10. #30
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah, I don't know what's up with that, like SFPs and their Fi is never offensive, crazy, and annoying. My eSFP ex is batshit crazy.

    There are just certain stereotypes on this forum, most of which involve putting Ss down and complaining about how emo NFPs are.

    It's almost like people just regurgitate the same complaints to have something to talk about. It's almost like following the crowd.

    I'm starting to get bored with it.
    I actually agree about FiSe; I think NTPs (your main critics) simply avoid that kind of annoying SFP instinctively, but we're less inclined to avoid NFPs because we usually find you more interesting. We value you for your Ne ability but we find Fi trite and irritating sometimes...with batshit crazy SFPs, we don't really see anything worth pursuing in the first place, so, spending so much more time with NFPs, NTPs probably notice their dislike of Fi in NFPs more often than in SFPs.

    EDIT: Yes, as tesla notes, there is also the interpreting negative intentions where none exist problem. I've seen SFPs do this occasionally, but not nearly to the extent INFPs do.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

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