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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling Characteristics?

    My boyfriend does have thinking characteristics, and Ive been thinking he s T. However there are a few things that sway this, and I am wondering if feelers can exhibit these traits :

    He is tactful as well as truthful and he says he cares about me.
    When he had a forceful argument about something, where the other person , who was a stranger to him. did not back down, he claimed afterward that he didnt like the person who he was arguing against.
    He has personal values and wants to be a good husband and father.
    And-at one point, we went to see a marriage specialist together since I was having doubts then. He insisted on paying for the whole session, since he felt it was only right. He even argued with my father to the point of being stubborn that he wanted to pay. My father saw that a lot of it was coming from pride, which is more of an emotional thing. He also is stubborn when he wants me to accept his help.
    Can this make someone more of a feeler?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Most of these anecdotes and qualities aren't F exclusive. T's have values, tact, desires to be a good father, stand their ground, etc.

    Think about:

    When you try and persuade him, what works best: appealing to his feelings or his logic?

    Is he people-oriented or object-oriented?

    Does he make value judgments that may defy all logic?

  3. #3
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Having feelings isn't exclusive to Feelers, you know. Acting on them can be an indication.

    I recognize a bit of my husband (ESTJ) and my father (ISTJ) in your description, especially the stubborn thing... Is your boyfriend an SJ? Because wanting to pay and help can also stem from tradition, "that's how it's done!"
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  4. #4
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    Default

    Actually, he may be an SJ, possibly an SP. Definitely not NT or NF.

    Another thing I thought of-he went to a religious high school geared for a certain sect thats known to try to "convert" their students to that sect. He had a bad experience there, and didnt want to be "brainwashed" so because of that, he has bad feelings toward that sect. Im not sure if that can be feeler making a decision based on bad feelings, or if that can be possible for a thinker too, for any reason.

    He wants to help and pay, since he feels that that is only right, and it wont look good if he doesnt.

    Good Q's. When I persuade him, yes it usually works toward appealing to his logic, although feelings can play a slight role.
    I would say hes both oriented, but I think hes an extravert, which I think is more people oriented.
    I think he makes value judgements-but only if its consistant with logic, although feelings may play a part in it as well.

    What is weird is that he considers himself much more feeling than he actually is. lol

  5. #5
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Does it work via appealing to his sense of responsibility, accountability, morals, and need to care for those he cares about?

    That sounds very STJ to me. But his logic it may have a "feeling" of idealism and adherence to values via his tert/inferior Fi peeking out and helping to drive his thinking choices, especially when related to things that he cares deeply for-like you. When he does "feel" it might appear to be somewhat simplistic or even innocent and unsophisticated-yet he may feel it very strongly and love you very much.

  6. #6
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oxymoron View Post
    My boyfriend does have thinking characteristics, and Ive been thinking he s T. However there are a few things that sway this, and I am wondering if feelers can exhibit these traits :

    He is tactful as well as truthful and he says he cares about me.
    When he had a forceful argument about something, where the other person , who was a stranger to him. did not back down, he claimed afterward that he didnt like the person who he was arguing against.
    He has personal values and wants to be a good husband and father.
    And-at one point, we went to see a marriage specialist together since I was having doubts then. He insisted on paying for the whole session, since he felt it was only right. He even argued with my father to the point of being stubborn that he wanted to pay. My father saw that a lot of it was coming from pride, which is more of an emotional thing. He also is stubborn when he wants me to accept his help.
    Can this make someone more of a feeler?
    He seems like he uses Fi.

  7. #7
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    Actually, he strongly fits the description of the ISTP and thats what I am thinking. Ive read that ISTPs can be committed and responsible, just taking oneday at a time. He does have a strong developed J as well. Do you think the ISTP can be congruent to what I wrote above?
    When he feels for someone, its obvious that he does, but its in more of a logical way, which he mistakes for emotion. ("I care about you, and you wanted me to do that, thats why i did it")

  8. #8

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    Some ISTPs can be very hard to type. They can seem extroverted but like their space. They can be far more assertive than most P types. They are social, and have a very good rational understanding of their surroundings and social cues, body language, etiquette. Actually they seem to pick up and master skills in most domains. And normally understand them well enough to teach them in detail to others. The ones I know are free spirits, with a touch of style and class, often neglect the laws but have strong principles (or a sense of duty) when it comes to people and are quite dependable and sincere. They don't like anything overly emo and feel uncomfortable with it, but quite like the mysterious and the deep. One of my most respected types.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  9. #9
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    That was very helpful, Thanks

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