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Thread: Male Feelers

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    They do what they do, cuz they feel like it, and others can just fuck off if they don't like it.
    Hey you took the words right out of my mouth!

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    NO!



    Not really.



    Some F males I know are actually quite hot-headed; they're rough, tough, quick to strike. Typical "macho" men. They do what they do, cuz they feel like it, and others can just fuck off if they don't like it. Some are quite zen and chill. Being an F does not mean you can have better emotional reactions that those who are T, just like being a T does not mean you can think better than an F. Those are short-sighted understanding of cognitive functions.

    "F" doesn't mean that those males are a bag of salty tears. Being an F male does not also necessarily make you more sensitive.

    It just means that their decision making process is given more weight to values attached to the decisions, versus, detached, logical interpretations leading to decisions, which would employ "T".



    BooHooo! Yew hurted my feewins...

    I am a "Bag of Salty Tears."


    But I took them from all the whiny people in the world.

    Cry me a river wusses.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    NO!



    Not really.



    Some F males I know are actually quite hot-headed; they're rough, tough, quick to strike. Typical "macho" men. They do what they do, cuz they feel like it, and others can just fuck off if they don't like it. Some are quite zen and chill. Being an F does not mean you can have better emotional reactions that those who are T, just like being a T does not mean you can think better than an F. Those are short-sighted understanding of cognitive functions.

    "F" doesn't mean that those males are a bag of salty tears. Being an F male does not also necessarily make you more sensitive.

    It just means that their decision making process is given more weight to values attached to the decisions, versus, detached, logical interpretations leading to decisions, which would employ "T".
    I'm thinking about 2 ENFJ guys I know. Stark contradictions- One guy's on the hotheaded side, ready to strike whenever they feel challenged. The other guy's more of the good natured, make the stranger feel welcome type. Neither is what you would consider feminine at all.

    I have an ISFJ friend who will shed a tear at any tender moment. It's so funny- he is afraid to disappoint people, but in the role that we're in you can't always deliver- you did your part, it's out of our hands. If the person has a problem they can take it up with the powers that be. He loves talking tough tony but then get all nice and gentle with people when he faces them. Again, real sensitive but was a lady slayer when he was younger. Definitely not gay.

  4. #34
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    ^Sounds a little strange to be defined by one characteristic. I've been both a little hotheaded, and a little sensitive. I've (unnecessarily) choked someone for repeatedly interrupting a conversation on purpose. I also cried at the end of Ghost.

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    I think this thread totally gets it wrong.

    ESFPs and ISFPs tend to fit in fine with their ESTP friends (the idealized male apparently).

    I think its once again a Se/Si vs Ne/Ni...notice how the SFPs in this thread dont think twice about being a male F, and yet the male NFs talk about it. Its probably only slightly better than being an NT.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    ^Sounds a little strange to be defined by one characteristic. I've been both a little hotheaded, and a little sensitive. I've (unnecessarily) choked someone for repeatedly interrupting a conversation on purpose. I also cried at the end of Ghost.
    My point was to demonstrate the 2 sides of an F male.

    In thinking about it, You can be masculine and still make judgements based on 'feelings'. I think a better word is values. If you value being able to make a point uninterrupted, someone butting in will strike a nerve within you. I guess it's a combo of Se/Fi.

  7. #37
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't even know why I did it.. He was beligerent and I was having a one-to-one with someone else. Kept being obnoxious, and I felt like the only way to stop him was being dramatic.. I felt a lot of animosity inside, but the funny thing was,he was carrying a sixpack, and I had the awareness to gently take it out of his hand, set it on the table, and then proceed to choke him. So I controlled my animosity in a way.

    Unfortunately, the whole thing wasn't as entertaining as I thought it'd be in the end.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    I think this thread totally gets it wrong.

    ESFPs and ISFPs tend to fit in fine with their ESTP friends (the idealized male apparently).

    I think its once again a Se/Si vs Ne/Ni...notice how the SFPs in this thread dont think twice about being a male F, and yet the male NFs talk about it. Its probably only slightly better than being an NT.
    Not to butt into the man cave or anything, but I've noticed this as well. My ESFP husband has always been a 'dude's dude'. Most of his friends are males, and they go drink and skateboard, be men together, etc. Where he notices the difference with a goodly chunk of his friends (who knows whether they are T or F?) has to do with conflicting values/principles. The boys come first for them over romantic relationships, while for my husband it's all about the wife and kids, being an honorable/good person, etc. For example, he just found out a friend of his is cheating on his girlfriend- he was the last in the group to find out, by the way, which I doubt is coincidence- his friends know how he is- and he says he just can't look at him the same way, it's hard for him.

    But he definitely behaves differently around them- he'll try to keep up the dude act, but then he gets drunk and blabs on and on about how awesome his wife is.

    I love this thread, btw- I like the male club feel. And here I come and fuck it up... sorry...


  9. #39
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    So, I tend to "meta-think". Rather than thinking about the subject at hand, I end up thinking about my own thought processes regarding the subject, about the overall context, or about the relationship between me and the subject.

    During meetings, I'll pay barely any mind to what's actually being said. I tend to focus on how people are interacting, how they're feeling/reacting to the subject, and so on. I pick up on the personal priorities of other people during a discussion. I tailor my speech explicitly to harmonize disparate approaches and look for points of agreement.

    But I don't readily state my own opinions as often as others do.

    I don't get into deep, personal conversations with many other guys. I do with women, though. I view lots of guys as being completely out of touch with the most important parts of reality.

    I've discovered, accepted, and then completely embraced all of this over time. But I guess it took a while to figure all of this out.
    i identify with this a lot. i see myself as a connector. i get the subtext as much as what is said, and i also have plenty of my own context to put everything into perspective. i won't listen to the letter most of the time because i'll be thinking and processing on a number of different levels. this kind of abstraction is why i think i can see how many different directions individuals in the group are going. i've noticed enfps are much better, however, at communicating with the entire group all at once (as are enfjs), whereas i really need to focus 1-1 to harmonize and shed light on other processes that are effecting the situation negatively. if in the lead, i need to be in a more facilitative role than an out and out solver, bc i'm not so great at imagining solutions as much as i am at identifying the problems and allowing the discourse itself to become more self-aware.

  10. #40

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    1)What is it like being an F male in your culture? Does the dominance of thinking preference in men affect your interactions with other males?

    2)Do you feel very different/challenged by your preference?

    3)What defines the F male compared to the T male?

    4)How are Fi males and Fe males different/similar?

    5)Did you have to peel back a culturally imposed layer of Tness to realise you are an F? Do you often test as a T?

    Discuss.
    There are going to be severe variances in people's answers but I will answer from my experiences and views

    1) I am usually labelled as a wimp or a sissy. I have also been accused of being gay a lot.I do not readily interact with other people to start with, but whether or not depended on the individuals. I do not like sports, do not like cars, I loathe crass humour or any joke that involved someone else's pain, I do not listen to much of the same music - although these may not necessarily be due to my F, at least not alone.

    I got into some serious clashes of perspectives at times with some teenage guys at times though. I believe in taking consideration other people's feelings a lot and always looking for a way to mitigate other people getting hurt,and they did not really care about if what they did would have hurt or did hurt another person or living thing.

    I also do not agree with any " brotherhood" philosophy. I believe that we are members of humanity. I would never place a higher degree of "allegiance" to a male over a female because of gender alone.

    2) Do I feel challenged? No. In fact I will go as far as saying I enjoy my preference. I believe my F preference helps me to care for others, to make them feel appreciated. I always am sure to offer my thanks for whatever people do for me. The very idea of not making those that I love and care about feel loved and appreciated; or the very idea of not caring about people and their well being and not taking people's feelings into consideration sounds really weird and even wrong to me.

    I sometimes probably exert a bit too much patience to people at time though. When people offend me, I rarely tell them because I do not want them to criticise me further, or for them to feel really bad. I also feel guilty for the slightest thing and sometimes apologise superfluously. Also there are times when I may walk pass an acquaintance or friend and feel as though something is wrong with them, and want to help them. But sometimes I feel as though by asking them if something is wrong, I may make them feel exposed and thus ashamed, and thus I may make things worse. I feel really guilty at those times.I also get worried a lot about my loved one's well being. If one of my family members feel unwell I get really worried and the feeling does not subside until I know that everything is going to be okay. I also feel unappreciated at times and I am hurt very easily. I also find it difficult to be " hard" on someone as I do not want to them to feel hurt or that they are undervalued. But as I said I am fine being a F.

    3. Well the functions do.

    4.The effect produced by the functions may relate to the person's own's views. In this thread I have seen that people articulated that they believed that Fe males are more accepting of the role but I personally do not relate to that statement. I believe in being an individual and in being myself. I do not place any worth on gender roles, as I view them as oppressive to people's holistic development and rights to being an individual.

    5. No I pretty much always test as INFJ or INFP. That being said I believe that I have well developed Ti
    The MBTI is a tool to help you on your self discovery. It nor any other the label can ever hope to describe you, because you are are unique and special, we all are. Any comments made regarding a group of people should be considered to be general and not ubiquitous; and no one should lose of sight of that. . Do not stereotype other people or yourself for that matter, but generalise if you must when a general example or pattern is required. And if you took the time to read this thank you

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