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  1. #11
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I am going through that right now and was just about to make a post. I have been biting people all month, and the month before that. I read that it is because of the ESTJ shadow when one is over stressed. The three most important things to me right now:

    Competence
    Truth and accuracy
    Decisive action

    Run away, dear friends.

  2. #12
    brainheart
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    Yup, my Te is evil. It should be outlawed- as should my Si. Probably my Fe, too.

  3. #13
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Just had a random thought. Would doing something like a hobby or activity that 'uses' the inferior function help?

    When I'm stressed or anxious, I would sometimes fold origami. It's not what you would call a Thinking hobby, but I'm also following specific linear steps to fold the model according to the instructions. Is this my subconscious way of channeling my Te in a productive way? And could this be applied to other hobbies if we can identify which cognitive process it 'uses'?
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #14
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Damn...that really is accurate for me.

  5. #15
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I just read this. I'm not liking it, but damn it's so true.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
    Junior Member Xenocide's Avatar
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    Return of Equilibrium

    As the preceding stories illustrate, some time is required for things to play
    out before equilibrium is restored in a person who has been in the grip.
    However, as the last story shows, chronically being in the grip may force
    a person to permanently leave the stressful situation.

    The following comments were made by some Introverted Feeling
    types about how they typically disengage from inferior function experiences.
    Note that for both ISFPs and INFPs, it is important that they be
    able to spend some time alone when emerging from the grip and not be
    “helped” by others.This appears to be less crucial for female ISFPs, who
    are likely to welcome talking to others early in the process. Female INFPs
    find talking to others helpful, but not usually right away. Male Introverted
    Feeling types mention talking to others less frequently. Engaging in relaxing,
    distracting activities and hobbies is helpful for both genders.

    “I need to get away and think things through,” said an ISFP.“People
    should just let me be,” he added. An INFP said she needs to “go with the
    flow, get away from the situation for a while. I need to talk about it without
    being censored (or taken too seriously).” And another INFP agreed
    that “I don’t like it when others help. I’ll just be with myself and work out
    solutions or compromises.”

    “It has to expire on its own,” said an ISFP.“If someone else says something
    about it, it can make it worse—unless I am already coming out of
    it. If someone I respect but am not emotionally close to says something, I
    may check it out. It depends on how it is said.”

    “I need to go with the flow and allow myself time to experience it.
    Others need to be patient and empathic.They need to allow me time to
    reflect,” said another ISFP.

    “Exercise helps, and so does talking to someone. But others need to
    listen and not try to reason with me or be logical. Having my feelings validated
    is important.”

    A consistent theme that seems to signal that the experience is winding
    down is an often painful awareness of the effect their inferior function
    is having on people.“We become aware of the damage to relationships
    caused by the episode and are thankful it’s over,” reported a group of
    Introverted Feeling types. One INFP said, “I become aware of being out
    of sorts, take a deep breath, chill out (after being embarrassed). Others
    need to give me space and be forgiving when I ask forgiveness.” Another
    INFP reported that “It helps if others let me have my say, don’t get defensive,
    and don’t challenge my ‘truth’ at that moment.Acknowledge that you
    understand what I’m saying.We can talk about it when I’m myself again.”
    The process of becoming “oneself again” can be aided by auxiliary
    Sensing or Intuition. ISFPs find it helpful to satisfy their Sensing need for
    sleep, or to simply “zone out” by watching a lot of television. Later, starting
    a craft project that uses established skills may signal the diminishing
    effects of an inferior function episode. Engaging in distracting activities,
    hobbies, and recreation is helpful. INFPs also can find new energy and
    motivation by coming up with an intriguing thought or a new approach
    to an ongoing project.

    INFPs report that the process of emerging from their grip experience
    happens simultaneously with the new learning or awareness that occurs.
    In line with their overriding focus on growth and development, they seem
    to welcome any opportunity to expand their self-awareness, even when it
    is painful. This happens for other types as well, but it seems to be more
    noticeable for those who have Intuition as their auxiliary function. Often
    the new knowledge comes in the form of a previously unrecognized idea
    or new insight.This is what occurred for the person who realized he had
    approached the take-home exam from the wrong perspective.

  7. #17
    Junior Member Xenocide's Avatar
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    Expressions in Midlife


    Midlife is not always accompanied by a positive and progressive integration
    of inferior Extraverted Thinking. Nor do we see evidence of the
    inclusion of tertiary Sensing or Intuition in the personality of all aging
    Introverted Feeling types.

    The aging process finds some Introverted Feeling types becoming
    stuck in their type rather than broadening their perspective. They may
    appear to others to be perpetually searching for self-fulfillment, changing jobs or careers, assuring others and themselves that this next time will be
    the last and “right” choice. This may also take the form of repetitive
    searching for a “soul mate,” resulting in failed marriages and partnerships
    and dissatisfying romantic affairs.

    Some Introverted Feeling types may incorporate inferior Thinking
    and tertiary Sensing or Intuition into their personalities, but in a somewhat
    rigid, extreme, and stereotypical way. They seem hypercritical of
    others, obsess about minor details, and lose their former facility with ideas
    and possibilities. Rather than simply adding appropriate Thinking to their
    repertoire, they seem to delete Feeling.Aging finds them frequently in the
    grip of inferior Thinking and tertiary Sensing or Intuition.

    Introverted Feeling types whose course of development is more fortunate
    reveal increased confidence in their own values, a new interest in
    activities that involve their tertiary Sensing or Intuition, and an attraction
    to analytic approaches.They report more comfort in logical decision making,
    less concern about hurting others’ feelings, and greater impatience
    with sentimental expressions of feeling.

    In contrast to Extraverted Thinking types, whose positive midlife
    expressions include being more willing to let go of things that don’t fit
    their image of what is correct and logical, Introverted Feeling types
    become more confident and forthright in stating their convictions to others.
    They are more willing to tell other people what they need and want
    and are less concerned about fulfilling others’ expectations.They may also
    enjoy doing things in an orderly, logical sequence and appreciate the
    beauty of the universe as expressed in the laws of physics and chemistry.
    This may emerge in as common an activity as cooking. An INFP cook,
    who had habitually deviated from recipes as a young adult, discovered in
    his fifties that following the order and precision of a detailed recipe was
    quite appealing. He was intrigued with the particular mix of ingredients
    and the logic of their proportions. This INFP’s midlife change contrasts
    with that of an ISTJ cook described in Chapter 12, who, having adhered
    strictly to recipes in her youth, dispensed with them entirely in midlife.

    Positive incorporation of inferior and tertiary functions can appear in
    the career area. One 47-year-old INFP said,
    "I think that in the last ten years or so I have gained psychological reassurance
    that I am competent at some things. It needed to come first in
    my chosen professional arena—through gaining confidence as a professional,
    as a faculty member training students, and then as a bit of anauthority in certain theoretical areas. Then I could play with areas in
    which I had never sought competence before. I recently took a night
    course in electrical rewiring and practiced it in my own home. But the
    secure base of my preferred world (teaching and writing) needed to be
    there, as well as in my personal life (as a partner and a parent), before I
    could have energy to devote to such things as mastering electrical circuits.
    It had to happen at the right time also. I could never have done it
    in my twenties or younger."

    Sometimes spending a lengthy period in the grip of inferior Extraverted
    Thinking can serve as an important stimulus to midlife development
    for Introverted Feeling types. The combination of the natural
    upheaval of midlife and the disruption and distress of a chronic grip experience
    may push an ISFP or INFP into serious soul searching and reconsideration
    of long-standing goals, which may lead to significant changes in
    the way the second half of life is lived.

    *Delivered by request instead of Cegorach

  8. #18
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I feel like I'm slowly getting a handle on my inferior Te. I can definitely relate to this, but some aspects are less intense than they used to be, although Te certainly rears an ugly head when I am stressed.

    I don't relate much to Precipitous Action....I'm trying to think of an example of it in my life and I can't....the Aggressive Criticism is very much me though.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #19
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dali View Post
    Unfortunately, I identify entirely too much with that.
    ditto. i am exactly as that article described over the last few years. i have yet to go back to my nice and happy go lucky self. is there another article that describes how i can correct this current behavior of mine?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  10. #20
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    That is very accurate. Even the part about the gas company rings quite true, about a time when I was dealing with a small time conman who made the mistake of mixing me up in his schemes.

    But yeah, everything else as well, painfully true. Except maybe the parts about lashing out on people, unless they are causing me direct continuous distress.

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