User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: ExxJ.

  1. #1
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default ExxJ.

    Is it fair to attribute the attitude and quote of "Do as I say, not as I do" to the ExxJ personalities?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #2
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    I don't know. When I get around to say "Do as I say", which is extremely rare (probably twice in my lifetime??) I'm just being extremely furious.

  3. #3
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Is it fair to attribute the attitude and quote of "Do as I say, not as I do" to the ExxJ personalities?
    Are you asking if it's fair to attribute hypocrisy to the EJs? I say no. Any type can hold that attitude and not express it.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Are you asking if it's fair to attribute hypocrisy to the EJs? I say no. Any type can hold that attitude and not express it.
    That sounds like a closer to me.

    Any last words for this thread?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Dunno, but you can say it of me quite often. I know it well enough, that I've translated it into Latin and used it as a tongue in cheek motto for years (non ut faco sed ut dico facite).

    Thing is, someone not doing a good thing themselves, doesn't make the suggestion that you do so invalid or unhelpful, or any less worth taking on board. edit - in fact, it might make the 'hypocrite' all the more qualified to advise you, since s/he knows very well the consequences of not following this piece of advice!!

    It's like a good tennis coach. He might not be able to win a Grand Slam himself, but if you want to, you'd better listen to him.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  6. #6
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    That sounds like a closer to me.

    Any last words for this thread?
    Last words as in "we're going to close this before it gets out of hand"?

    I'm not trying to label any type as one thing or another. I have observed that Js tend to get disappointed or frustrated in others when they don't follow the plan and yet themselves reserve the right to abstain from plans should they think it necessary.

    It's not supposed to be a criticism or one upmanship, just an observation to be discussed. If you have reason to think it's common in SPs, NTs, NPs or any other group of types then go ahead and say why. I'm only musing.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  7. #7
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Dunno, but you can say it of me quite often. I know it well enough, that I've translated it into Latin and used it as a tongue in cheek motto for years (non ut faco sed ut dico facite).

    Thing is, someone not doing a good thing themselves, doesn't make the suggestion that you do so invalid or unhelpful, or any less worth taking on board. edit - in fact, it might make the 'hypocrite' all the more qualified to advise you, since s/he knows very well the consequences of not following this piece of advice!!

    It's like a good tennis coach. He might not be able to win a Grand Slam himself, but if you want to, you'd better listen to him.
    I have a little counter saying too.
    "Being a hypocrite does not make someone wrong"
    A little logical flaw I noted in people many years back.

    This facet I've noted in many people though. It seems common between my sister and my father but my INTJ friend seems less prone to it, though it still exists so perhaps it should be attributed more to a J preference than anything.

    It just seems to me that ExxJs organise the external world and excuse themselves where as IxxPs do the opposite. I'm not sure about the other two groups though.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  8. #8
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    I think the word 'hypocrite' is bandied about too loosely, too. Someone just not being able to manage to always live as they believe they should, someone being human and falling for temptation now and again, though usually not meaning to and being sorry about it - that doesn't make someone a hypocrite. I've heard people use the word to describe someone who's just quite simply made a mistake, say, an oversight.

    Somebody who makes a lifestyle of telling other people how to behave whilst, say, abusing their wife/kids or just being a real terror to the people they live with, also as a lifestyle - that's a hypocrite.

    Someone telling people not to drop litter and accidentally dropping a Snickers wrapper, is not a hypocrite. Someone who gives someone else advice to avoid judging people, but who sometimes makes hasty judgements themselves, is not a hypocrite. It's just a human being.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #9
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I think the word 'hypocrite' is bandied about too loosely, too. Someone just not being able to manage to always live as they believe they should, someone being human and falling for temptation now and again, though usually not meaning to and being sorry about it - that doesn't make someone a hypocrite. I've heard people use the word to describe someone who's just quite simply made a mistake, say, an oversight.

    Somebody who makes a lifestyle of telling other people how to behave whilst, say, abusing their wife/kids or just being a real terror to the people they live with, also as a lifestyle - that's a hypocrite.

    Someone telling people not to drop litter and accidentally dropping a Snickers wrapper, is not a hypocrite. Someone who gives someone else advice to avoid judging people, but who sometimes makes hasty judgements themselves, is not a hypocrite. It's just a human being.
    Exactly. The situations I have in mind are more when they say to you "you should really do it this way as it helps you dot all the 'i's and cross all the 't's" but when you point out that they have just skipped half of that process the response comes back "ah well yes but that' because I know what I'm doing". It was something I spotted in specific with my father in fact "do as I say, not as I do" was one of his quotes.

    I'm now wondering if every ExxJ is "slitting their eyes" at me now.
    (That's still an odd saying.)
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  10. #10
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    Well I don't believe you were the first to use the word 'hypocrite'. It was inferred from what you were saying, by others. Though, IMO, you weren't quite as careful in the OP to describe these 'minor' incidents that you had in mind, as you ought to have been for it not to be misread, so it was inevitable that someone was bound to take it in that direction.

    What you describe is something I see very often in the ENTJ's I work with, but to me that's one of their endearing qualities and I see it as something completely valid and not hypocrisy or something 'bad'. But I also behave in that way when I'm supervising someone to do something in which I have far greater skill/experience.

    When you've gained a certain level of experience at something, then you're able to make those judgement calls as to when it's okay to skip something or play with the order of things, and when to go by the book. But if you're advising someone who doesn't have that level of experience yet, you'd naturally get a situation like you describe. I don't think it's a J thing though.

    Unless... unless... it's simply a J thing to be more likely to have acquired a high level of skill/competency/experience with something, and therefore be in the position to say that.

    edit - ENTJ in the room with me just now called it 'an executive decision'. He says if you're not an executive, you don't get to make them, but if you are, then you are for a reason!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

Similar Threads

  1. [Jung] I can't find my a description of my type EXXJ
    By Raicolaria in forum Myers-Briggs Type Profiles
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-21-2016, 03:38 PM
  2. What's my boyfriend's type (ExxJ)?
    By MissLizzy in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-25-2012, 06:54 PM
  3. Why are there no ExxJ and ISJ entertainers or artists?
    By proteanmix in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 01-24-2010, 10:21 AM
  4. How to communicate with an ExxJ
    By proteanmix in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 78
    Last Post: 10-22-2009, 06:59 PM
  5. ExxJs what's it like to be you?
    By proteanmix in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 08-17-2009, 09:43 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO