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  1. #1
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    Default Fe and assuming how people feel

    I know I am gonna get crap for going into this topic, but I noticed that Fe types will assume how people feel based on what we see and history. I see this within myself, within my wife, etc. Its the basis behind wanting to monitor and take control of a situation in regards to feelings. How can you be a feeling police and act pre-emptively without assuming how others are feeling. While this may or may not be Fe, its something I noticed within Fe types.

    On a personal level I use this assumption to back down and judge when things have gone to far, how to step in, when to step in, etc. I watch people and what things they respond to and I "assume" how they feel based on what I see or percieve.

    I see this in INTPs also. They look at the detail, like if you change around someone they pick up on the details of what you do and assume how you feel by relating these things together. Like if you tend to text all the time around people and around this one person you avoid texts to pay attention to them you start to make assumptions on how the person feels about this other person.

    edit: I am Fe so I am analyzing myself and not just bashing Fe people.

    edit again: I think the key to assuming is that we respond based on this assumption and its not always something we let out, but it is what we internally believe unless we see otherwise.
    Im out, its been fun

  2. #2
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    This could get exciting ...
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #3
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    There are people that don't do this? How do they function? Or do they just not care about how people feel?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #4
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    but I noticed that Fe types will assume how people feel based on what we see and history.
    I got tertiary Fe. I don't really assume how people feel (it's quite foreign to me even thinking about how they're feeling as a natural line of inquiry), but, I do assume what their pattern of thoughts are indicating. And, yes, I utilize the "general rule" - generally, a person in such a situation has interpreted it to be X (recalling past examples), and given all the other "clues", my dot-connection has led me to assume...they're thinking Y.

    The underlying (overarching) thought to something, I am guilty of doing it. I try to find what all the little seemingly separate clues are trying to tell me about the overall picture, what the leaving out of certain relevant pieces mean, what the contradictions mean (what it's trying to cover up), what all this pattern is pointing me towards. As well, I come up with a few likely pattern of thoughts and then I utilize Occam's Razor a lot in narrowing all those likely scenarios down to my conclusion.

    Sometimes, I am on point, and other times, I'm off. Usually when I don't take the individual that much into consideration, but see them as an example of, and because I don't account for their nuanced individuality...I miss. Or, if it's an issue squarely in the Fi domain, I miss, because I don't really take what they may be feeling about the situation, leading to their interpretation, into consideration. Just their thoughts on it.

    So, if I know the person really well, and have a big databank of their personal history, their wants, their irritations.....very rarely am I off (I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but, I'm recalling my own personal experience). Fe allows me to state it in a way where I make it resonate with the other person.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    There are people that don't do this? How do they function? Or do they just not care about how people feel?
    There is a difference between assumption and think, neither has to do with caring though. One we act on before we truly know, the other we question and verify before we act on it.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #6
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    I must admit, I'm at a loss here, poki. Are you pro or against doing this? Or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    edit again: I think the key to assuming is that we respond based on this assumption and its not always something we let out, but it is what we internally believe unless we see otherwise.
    Yes, I agree. It is something that I think is inevitable with all kinds of relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    There are people that don't do this? How do they function? Or do they just not care about how people feel?
    Hm. Yes. My thoughts exactly. People are not mindreaders but they'd have to assume something to analyze other people's behaviour and contrast it to their own. It is something that comes naturally, I don't see how it could be otherwise. The key is what you're going to do with the assumptions. If you believe that basically, what you have made up by yourself, is the absolute truth and there's no way of ever changing that kind of opinion, then you're on the wrong path.

    I make assumptions all the time but I'm also aware of the signals coming my way so while I accumulate new information, I change my assumptions and opinion accordingly. It's a constant process.

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    There is a difference between assumption and think, neither has to do with caring though. One we act on before we truly know, the other we question and verify before we act on it.
    Oh, ok, I see. Yes.

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    There is a difference between assumption and think, neither has to do with caring though. One we act on before we truly know, the other we question and verify before we act on it.
    There are times when a situation merits such effort and even as an Fe person, I'm always trying to improve my calibration for individuals, but generally the assumption allows for efficiency and efficiency is almost always a good thing.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    I must admit, I'm at a loss here, poki. Are you pro or against doing this? Or what?
    I am neither pro nor against it. Its not right or wrong, but an understanding of what people do.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Yes, I agree. It is something that I think is inevitable with all kinds of relationships.
    Some like to talk about it though while others like to act on it and see how someone responds.



    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Hm. Yes. My thoughts exactly. People are not mindreaders but they'd have to assume something to analyze other people's behaviour and contrast it to their own. It is something that comes naturally, I don't see how it could be otherwise. The key is what you're going to do with the assumptions. If you believe that basically, what you have made up by yourself, is the absolute truth and there's no way of ever changing that kind of opinion, then you're on the wrong path.
    Yes, some assume thoughts while others assume feelings. What else is their to assume that would not fit into thought or feeling(probably another thread all together though)? Sorry, that sounded sarcastic, but didnt mean it to be(Fe assuming how you will feel and it doesnt jive with the way I meant it). We have to assume something like you said, but MBTI is about categorization and this is one way to categorize. When we assume others thoughts or feelings, doesnt mean they wont changin, but it gives us something to test and play with by our actions and words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    I make assumptions all the time but I'm also aware of the signals coming my way so while I accumulate new information, I change my assumptions and opinion accordingly. It's a constant process.
    I do the same thing and it causes me to change my opinion or assumption.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #9
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    Poki, you're killing them with your neutrality.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
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    I know, I wanted people to fight my logic, not my stance
    Im out, its been fun

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