TJ corner

[Virtual ghost]

I am posting this thread as a place where all TJs can discuss topics related to TJ way of thinking/life.


The reason why I am doing this is because for most of my life I wasn't liked for what I am. To be exact a number of people said to me that I use too rigid approach towards life. What in a way is true but I can't go against who I am.


These are some of the topics that this thread should cover.



1.How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)


2.How likely are you to criticize others for something that you consider to be ...... I will call it "strategic nonsense" ?


3.Do you consider that you would be more succesful in the case you grew up in a more TJ environemnt ? (I mean on a healthy TJ environment)


4.How do you actually feel about spontaneous behaviour and how often do you engage in it ?

5.Did you play with militaristic toys when you were a kid ?


6.Are there people who are afraid of you and you are not sure why this is the case ? Or why they find your personality traits intimidating.


7.How do you see a differance between STJs and NTJs ?


8.How much are you tolerant of people who late regulary ? How do you deal with this.



If you want to make a post/big pist about a specific question I will not stop you. Non TJs can post as well but only if the don't drail the thread. (questions are welcome)

 

[Virtual ghost]

Ok so lets start with this one.


How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

How likely are you too criticize others

...

 

[murkrow]

Ok so lets start with this one.


How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

FPs are good for serious connections and the sharing of more F related ideas.

TPs are weird, I have quite a few close friends who are TP and they always seem to be mad at me. In the end they almost always aren't though, it's really strange.

FJs are either really fun or really annoying.

I'd like to actually discuss though so... I dunno.

 

[EJCC]

1.How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

I can relate to TPs and FJs pretty well. A lot of my very good friends are TPs and FJs. Although I'm friends with some FPs too, they can be a complete mystery to me.

2.How likely are you to criticize others for something that you consider to be ...... I will call it "strategic nonsense" ?

Pretty likely. But it depends on the situation. If it would be inappropriate, I won't do it, but it'll make me upset. Otherwise, I'll find a way to let them know what I think about it.

3.Do you consider that you would be more succesful in the case you grew up in a more TJ environemnt ? (I mean on a healthy TJ environment)

I like the balance I gained from being raised by a TP and an FJ. I wouldn't want to have been raised any differently.

4.How do you actually feel about spontaneous behaviour and how often do you engage in it ?

Depends on what kind of spontaneous it is. Spontaneous and fun, sure! Spontaneous and out of my comfort zone? Not so much. But in terms of spontaneous fun things, I'd say they happen on a semi-regular basis.

5.Did you play with militaristic toys when you were a kid ?

I played video games. Does that count? Also, I played semi-militaristic pretend games with my ISTx friend next door for most of my childhood. Just not with toys. That was more of a guy thing...

6.Are there people who are afraid of you and you are not sure why this is the case ? Or why they find your personality traits intimidating.

I think that my male peers are a bit scared of me for being smart and mature. But besides that, if they are scared of me, I haven't noticed. I'd like to think of myself as fairly friendly.

7.How do you see a differance between STJs and NTJs ?

NTJs are weirder, and more likely to think outside the box. They're completely unafraid of sticking it to the man. The INTJs I know have all had bizarro senses of humor; e.g. my INTJ female friend discovered a dead bat on the roof of her car, and decided to leave the carcass there and name her car "The Batmobile". The bat is still there and it's two years dead.

8.How much are you tolerant of people who late regulary ? How do you deal with this.

I'm okay, as long as it doesn't interfere with productivity, and as long as it's not a reflection of them being uncaring. If they care, and they don't mean to be late, and they still get all the work done, then I don't care. But if they're not, then I'll probably get mad at them and be a little snippy.

Edit: I just realized I approached this wrong... Whoops! Didn't realize we were going to deal with the questions one at a time.

 

[IZthe411]

Ok so lets start with this one.


How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

FPs- I get along with them. I dated an IFP; she will probably be the last. I know that there's a lot of discussion about Fi around here, which can be hard to deal with if they are too sensitive about things. I think I'd be better with an EFP if I date again, because at least they'd be more vocal about it (I think). I can be a jokester, make fun of people (nothing crazy) so if they are taking everything personally I can't mess with them.

TPs are cool; in a way I respect their laidback approach to things. I work with an ISTP and an ENTP;and I have the best interactions with them out of all of my team

FJs are cool; my closest coworker is an EFJ; we get along very well, although it was rocky at first. We patched that up, and now we are tight! He has this way of going out of his way to help everyone; real gracious. For instance, each morning we go to the cafeteria for coffee. He'll ask everyone in our group do they want to go. It's not that I don't want them to tag along; it's just that I dont' think to ask people. Guess that's the Fe in him. I know another EFJ guy who is real good with people; seems to get along with everyone. Neither of them hold back expressing themselves. There's one IFJ girl I work with, and she laughs a lot and is extra 'nice'. She's cool; but the giggling can get annoying after a while.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I am posting this thread as a place where all TJs can discuss topics related to TJ way of thinking/life.

The reason why I am doing this is because for most of my life I wasn't liked for what I am. To be exact a number of people said to me that I use too rigid approach towards life. What in a way is true but I can't go against who I am.

These are some of the topics that this thread should cover.

1.How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

2.How likely are you to criticize others for something that you consider to be ...... I will call it "strategic nonsense" ?

3.Do you consider that you would be more succesful in the case you grew up in a more TJ environemnt ? (I mean on a healthy TJ environment)

4.How do you actually feel about spontaneous behaviour and how often do you engage in it ?

5.Did you play with militaristic toys when you were a kid ?

6.Are there people who are afraid of you and you are not sure why this is the case ? Or why they find your personality traits intimidating.

7.How do you see a differance between STJs and NTJs ?

8.How much are you tolerant of people who late regulary ? How do you deal with this.

If you want to make a post/big pist about a specific question I will not stop you. Non TJs can post as well but only if the don't drail the thread. (questions are welcome)

1.
I relate to FP as having thought being one. Really, as wrong as it is, it opened my eyes. I wasn't as good an FP as other FP, and I wasn't nearly as good TJ as I am. So why I thought having been FP? I got out of my shyness at the age of 22, and I immediately wanted to do all the things I hadn't dared to do before. The experience made me think I *am* the personality that I'm experimenting. It was wonderful, and being an FP might be wonderful. If approached from a background of T and J, being an FP might be fun AND wise.

TP, the thing I thought I was after burnout. It's close to me. My natural J preference is weak. I think of it with much the same way as the people on the forum in general. NO news from me.

FJ. Again as a personal experience. Okay, it can be good, given background in T. But. I guess most of my life I've been fighting the FJ's.

2. Very GODDAMNED likely.

3. Very much so. I'm a natural TJ, if weak on J. I grew up in a loving religious environment which had elements of goddamned SFJs, oh for the love of god.. *shakes head* ... oh, shit. What a struggle I had to maintain identity.

I'm sure I'd have tons more money now with growing in a TJ environment. I am extremely happy with my life though, so I guess I'm more happy now, as not having grown up in a TJ environment. I'll explain more if anyone cares.

4. Spontaneous - I had idea of it as a child, that it is erroneous behavior. I thought that people take a glamorous approach over their errors and promote spontaineity. But, really, I thought of behavior as a multilayered model. There's theories that a person uses to teach themselves procedures, information gathering views and other stuff. The stuff that a person has learned extremely well can be spontaneous. So I think of spontaneity through a learning model.

Then again, I find that spontaineity is strongly associated with perceived quality of life and things someone might call fun. The FP experience. Opening up. Getting out of shyness. These are personal observations.

5. I imagined wars, war machines. I modelled a novel walking military attack vehicle with a 3d studio modelling program at the age of 12, and the idea of making a game out of it.. that was an obsession. But no, I didn't play with militaristic tools, perhaps quite much because of my mom's decision. I was quite cool with it though. I think I had the coolest toys as a kid.

6. People have been afraid of me. One case: extremely smart, if batshit nutcase FJ girl .. she had influence, and she was goddamned capable.. then one time she told she was afraid of me. There's been occasions like this. It's the ability to influence trough people, the ability to teach intelligent stuff, that kind of stuff that scares people. That's a reason why some people have been afraid of me. Oh, and the ability to absolutely cut through any goddamned shit that has been put in front of me.

7. Much with the same ideas the forum members have found. This has been discussed before. NTJ, founding member of a new club. STJ, precident of an established club. I'll explain in detail if asked.

8. I'm an J who's late, but a J who's extremely reliable. My being late causes trouble extremely, extremely rarely, whereas my reliability is much higher than that of the people who are most often on time. I am very ok with people being late. People rarely come later than me, and if they often come later than me, and they aren't super people, I get tired of them.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Edit: I just realized I approached this wrong... Whoops! Didn't realize we were going to deal with the questions one at a time.

No problem since the only point of this thread is to help me (and others) understand how other TJ relate to the word.


For example I am wondering how TJs functions in the case that that it has a FJ and a TP parent. Instead of two FP parents (like in my case)

 

[EJCC]

For example I am wondering how TJs functions in the case that that it has a FJ and a TP parent. Instead of two FP parents (like in my case)

In what sense? What type of "functioning" do you speak of?

 

[Virtual ghost]

In what sense? What type of "functioning" do you speak of?

Casual.

To me it can be really hard to be on the same level with FPs (similar is with FJs).

Which means that I have to distort myself to be able to be have a normal/longer conversations with them. I mean this most of the time has a high energy cost for me while results are often bad. Especially since they can sense "the lie"


So I am wondering how many other TJs have this problem and how many of you had a FP parent ?


(the question is strictly pointed at TJs)

 

[highlander]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Antisocial one
1.How do you relate to the 3 other combinations ? (FP,TP,FJ)

I relate to all of them pretty well. There are some specific people I may not relate to as well but I'm not sure it has to do with type.

Quote:
2.How likely are you to criticize others for something that you consider to be ...... I will call it "strategic nonsense" ?

I don't believe I have ever considered something strategic nonsense. I may consider that they have a different point of view, that a) i don't understand, or b) don't agree with. Generally in those cases, I'll ask questions to better understand their point of view and engage in a dialogue which often results in an agreement that considers both perspectives. Sometimes, I'll just tell them that I disagree and why. Sometimes, you just end up having a difference of opinion.

Quote:
3.Do you consider that you would be more succesful in the case you grew up in a more TJ environemnt ? (I mean on a healthy TJ environment)

I don't think so. It would have been easier being surrounded by more Ns - until college, I felt somewhat like an alien amongst my peers. My mom was an NF and dad an SJ. They both had very good qualities.

Quote:
4.How do you actually feel about spontaneous behaviour and how often do you engage in it ?

I often enjoy it as long as there is no particular pressure to perform. However, sometimes I am just not in the mood.

Quote:
5.Did you play with militaristic toys when you were a kid ?

Some - sure especially when I was really little. I remember having a tree fort and carting all kinds of rocks up there in case we were attacked.

Quote:
6.Are there people who are afraid of you and you are not sure why this is the case ? Or why they find your personality traits intimidating.

Maybe ones that don't know me well. I don't think this is generally much of a problem though. I'm direct and don't avoid conflict, which may turn some people off. I've learned to temper this behavior and throttle it up or down based on the situation, which I still don't think I've got totally down but am a lot better than I used to be.

Quote:
7.How do you see a differance between STJs and NTJs ?

STJs are more responsible and conscientious I think. They make decisions based on what they've experienced before, vs. NTJs that are more inclined to pursue new or innovative things without facts or experience.

Quote:
8.How much are you tolerant of people who late regulary ? How do you deal with this.

It is a mixture. Often, I really don't care that much because I have other things to do. Other times, I'm annoyed when I have to wait for someone because I cannot stand idle time waiting (like the short wait in a supermarket line always annoys me). Since I can be late myself, it is not something I get too worked up about though.

 

[EJCC]

Casual.

To me it can be really hard to be on the same level with FPs (similar is with FJs).

Which means that I have to distort myself to be able to be have a normal/longer conversations with them. I mean this most of the time has a high energy cost for me while results are often bad. Especially since they can sense "the lie"


So I am wondering how many other TJs have this problem and how many of you had a FP parent ?


(the question is strictly pointed at TJs)

I haven't had any experiences like that with my parents. (I never have to fake anything with them.) But then again, neither of them are FPs. Here's my experience in a little more detail:

With my dad (INTP), I have my best moments with him when we make jokes at each other's expense in a friendly, good-natured way (i.e. dominant Ti vs dominant Te), and when I speak his Ne language (e.g. "Whoa, did you see that article in the New York Times about how they found out what color those winged dinosaurs were? Wasn't that AWESOME?" *cue hour-long conversation*). He's really great to have around, because if I, say, want to buy a new camera, I know that just by mentioning it, he'll research it exhaustively for HOURS and come to me with this big spreadsheet/review compilation of the best-reviewed and cheapest cameras he could find. I sometimes have communication issues with him, which can be frustrating. But that's probably an N vs S thing, as opposed to a TP vs TJ thing.

With my mom (INFJ), we get along swimmingly almost all the time. We're best friends. Partially because she's a bit borderline on N, and partially because we're best friends, I think we're generally on the same wavelength. We speak the same language, for the most part. There are things that she does that really, really annoy me, that are type-related; e.g. venting about her unsolved problems and exaggerating them without wanting any help (which I can't relate to at all, since I'm indirectly asking for advice almost every time I vent about something that hasn't been solved). But in terms of communication, I think we get each other.

In case anyone may have been wondering what it was like for me (a TJ) to be raised by a TP and an FJ (not that you were wondering; I'm just throwing it out there), they hardly had to discipline me at all. From a young age, I had my own internal rules (which were generally in sync with their rules), and I'd feel horrible about it whenever I broke them. I was a very, very good kid, in terms of doing well in school, etc. Very independent, and not high-maintenance at all, despite being an only child. I guess you get the idea...

 

[Ezra]

I couldn't be bothered answering the first question. I don't know enough of each of the types well enough to be able to reach a conclusion about how I relate to each temperament. Also, I tend to relate to individuals rather than labels.

2.How likely are you to criticize others for something that you consider to be ...... I will call it "strategic nonsense" ?

Do you mean when people talk about strategy they're talking nonsense (in which case I wholeheartedly disagree), or do you mean when they're discussing a workable strategy in an unworkable way (in which case I tend to offer solutions... but to be honest I'm very rarely in this situation)?

3.Do you consider that you would be more succesful in the case you grew up in a more TJ environemnt ? (I mean on a healthy TJ environment)

Definitely. But nowhere near as psychologically healthy.

4.How do you actually feel about spontaneous behaviour and how often do you engage in it ?

It can be refreshing to "just do it". But in most situations I prefer a game plan that I can adapt as and when I need to. I'll have contingency plans for various options depending on how, say, a night out develops ("if I pull, I've got this money for our cab", "if I get hungry, I have some change for a pizza" - to be honest these examples are obsolete; I haven't been out for ages, nor have I thought about pulling for a very long time).

5.Did you play with militaristic toys when you were a kid ?

Absolutely. Micro Machines (a good friend and I used to have arms sales and trade-offs with each other), Warhammer 40K, Italeri-style 1:72 figures like Napoleonic and Civil War soldiers (sometimes merging the ages together), and Lego. I was into anything of which there were a lot of small, commandable pieces.

6.Are there people who are afraid of you and you are not sure why this is the case ? Or why they find your personality traits intimidating.

Some people have given me looks to suggest they're intimidated by me, but I'm self-aware enough to realise why they feel the way they do about me. I've learned to curb some of my habits.

7.How do you see a differance between STJs and NTJs ?

STJs are more focused on tradition and linear thinking than NTJs. They are less willing to cut corners to achieve their goals, and in my eyes are more naive - but perhaps on the plus side more loyal and faithful - than NTJs, who are more pragmatic in work matters and who are likely to entertain strategy at a higher level than administrative, single-minded STJs. While some STJs no doubt exceed, NTJs are the ones who reach the top (if they can get passed all the lowly middle management shit).

8.How much are you tolerant of people who late regulary ? How do you deal with this.

I adapt to tardiness, but fortunately most of the people with whom I associate myself are good timekeepers.