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Thread: Baffled by Fi

  1. #1
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Default Baffled by Fi

    I don't know about you, but I am positively baffled by Fi. When people tell me to "go inside myself and see what I want and need and feel and believe and blah blah blah," I just scratch my head and wonder what the hell that means.

    Of course, I wouldn't say that I have no values or principles! I have very strong values and principles. I just find it hard to go 'inside myself' to see what 'I want' if it is not an 'instilled principle.'

    Can anyone else relate? How did you overcome it?
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    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    It's much more simple.

    Fi is one's inner sense of right and wrong.

  3. #3
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Forgive my silly comment, but doesn't everyone have that?

    When I ask people about my type, people tell me to use Fi and go inside myself to 'find the answer.' Well, damn, I find it hard to go in myself to find any answer. Or maybe I just don't realize it.
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    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Yes, everyone has that. Everyone uses Fi.

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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    The 'going inside' is more of a self-reflection function of Fi. It means that you ask yourself about your own reactions, your own morals, how that all resonates and connects together, and how the situation you're in really affects you and how you can change your own responses to deal with it better. You can also go inside and just shut up your brain and 'feel'. If you don't know what to do, let the situation go through your head and be aware of what emotions it provokes. Then think of possible ways to handle it and imagine implementing each one seperately, and what the consequences would be, and once again...observe how you 'feel', how you respond to those consequences. That way, you can find your way in the maze that is life
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  6. #6
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I guess what I mean is as follows:

    My husband is a rock-solid foundation that can withstand any storm with his strong values (Fi) and principles (Ti) to the point where he doesn't really give a rat's ass one way or another how anyone thinks. (Okay, that's exaggerating...somewhat).

    In contrast, I need a stable, supportive environment to hold strong values. If the external environment is not favorable, I start mirroring my environment, and I HATE that tendency inside myself.

    Perfect example: At work, if I am in an environment that appreciates my contribution and really challenges me and gives me ways to grow, I'm the happiest lark that ever was, brimming over with ideas, exuding happiness for everyone.

    However, if I am in a negative environment, I mirror my that environment.

    Sometimes I become pedantic, moody, grumpy, overly judgmental and sarcastic, agitated, dogmatic, overly organized to cover my ass in case someone wants to blame me for something, and well, you get the picture.

    Other times, I forget my values and start reflecting those around me, until reality kicks in and I say, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??????" At which point I high-tail it out of there before I COMPLETELY lose myself.

    My husband doesn't give a rat's ass if his environment is good or bad: He's always stable and running along, tilting back inside to provide stability if there's a tsunami outside. I wish I could do that.
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  7. #7
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Perhaps it is underdeveloped Fe

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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    THat's coz you miss a baseline. You're still building up your Fi-world as it were so you're not sure about things yet. I found that I had the same problem till i came to the forum here. Seeing how others respond and what is important to them and how the different types interact with each other, made me realize what is important to me and how far I should indulge others in their wishes, made me gain a balance. It does require a lot of self-questionning and introspecting though. Asking yourself..why does he respond to her that way and how would I have responded in his or her stead? How is that different? Is it typical for the type or is it an individual thing coming from their background?

    It's quite fun to do so
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  9. #9
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Hmm, could be.

    See, when I feel insecure, I want to make everyone ELSE happy because I think somehow that will bring ME happiness and security/stability. At the end of the day, if someone asks me, "What do YOU want?" or "How do YOU feel?" I just think, "Uhhh, uhhh, uh, well, um, yeah, I really, well, damn, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT. YOU CHOOSE!" lol Awful. I don't do it AS MUCH anymore, but I used to be REALLY BAD at that.

    Even worse, at work (if I feel uncomfy) I'll be 'everyone's darling' trying to do everything right for everyone until I'm so worn out that I just wanna.....GARHHHHHHHHHH. I'll wear myself out working like a dog. And THEN if I DON'T get feedback, that'll drive me crazy because I'll assume negative feedback is no feedback, and I'll do even MORE STUFF. Ugh. Someone slap me. And then I'll get even more organized and even more pedantic and even more anal-retentive.

    Thank God I'm finally doing work I feel comfy at. Whew. A lot less stress on my part, let me tell you. Now I can let the creative juices flow. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Sounds familiar
    Just remember that you cannot be responsible for everyones happiness. Sure, you can make it easier for them to forget their gloomy mood, but analyze where their 'unhappiness' comes from and realize that it's sometimes out of your control. For that matter...people are allowed to have a moment of non-happiness. And you're not their emotional babysitter. That means that they themselves, as clumsy as they are at it, need to learn how to deal with negative emotions. Sure, if you can assist, feel free to, but don't consider it a failure when you're not able to. It is still their own task, not yours.

    You'll find that just that realization will give you some breathing space and distance, and will allow you not to be flooded by others emotions constantly, leaving room for your own
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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