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Thread: Baffled by Fi

  1. #21
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I'ld like to let my good friend Gnther answer your question LL:

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAohH3I01l0"].[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #22
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Hmm, could be.

    See, when I feel insecure, I want to make everyone ELSE happy because I think somehow that will bring ME happiness and security/stability. At the end of the day, if someone asks me, "What do YOU want?" or "How do YOU feel?" I just think, "Uhhh, uhhh, uh, well, um, yeah, I really, well, damn, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT. YOU CHOOSE!" lol Awful. I don't do it AS MUCH anymore, but I used to be REALLY BAD at that.

    Even worse, at work (if I feel uncomfy) I'll be 'everyone's darling' trying to do everything right for everyone until I'm so worn out that I just wanna.....GARHHHHHHHHHH. I'll wear myself out working like a dog. And THEN if I DON'T get feedback, that'll drive me crazy because I'll assume negative feedback is no feedback, and I'll do even MORE STUFF. Ugh. Someone slap me. And then I'll get even more organized and even more pedantic and even more anal-retentive.
    This is Extraverted Feeling! "It makes me happy to make you happy!" No wonder you don't "get" Fi, because it's not where your emotional barometer emerges from!

    ExFJ

    Ahahahahaha, you've almost cracked the code LL!
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  3. #23
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    But it makes me happy to make you happy too ... if an Fi user has the value that the feelings of other people are as or more important than their own, they would behave similarly.

    I think if Fe usage felt natural to LL, she would get satisfaction and receive a certain measure of energy back at meeting the group needs. But that doesn't seem to be the case. So I would posit that Fi is fueling that external desire to please.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #24
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    But it makes me happy to make you happy too ... if an Fi user has the value that the feelings of other people are as or more important than their own, they would behave similarly.

    I think if Fe usage felt natural to LL, she would feel satisfaction and get a certain measure of energy back at meeting the group needs. But that doesn't seem to be the case. So I would posit that Fi is fueling that external desire to please.

    I agree... I was explicitly raised with that value, and internalized it well. Took a while to gain a healthier balance and acknowledge my own needs as important (more important in some respects, since I'm the one responsible for taking care of myself).

  5. #25
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I agree... I was explicitly raised with that value, and internalized it well. Took a while to gain a healthier balance and acknowledge my own needs as important (more important in some respects, since I'm the one responsible for taking care of myself).
    Yes, I feel similarly. Internalized it almost too well ...

    Even at this point in my life, I still don't take care of myself as well as I should.

    Since we have moved, a part of me is hesitant to get involved in new groups because I can too easily fall into a particular role, one where I take on responsibility for group harmony and balance. Sensing the needs of others is hard when one doesn't have a good solid boundary line of energy in vs energy out. I can thus swing out of balance, feeling like I "should" be doing this task vs wanting to do it.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #26
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    But it makes me happy to make you happy too ... if an Fi user has the value that the feelings of other people are as or more important than their own, they would behave similarly.

    I think if Fe usage felt natural to LL, she would feel satisfaction and get a certain measure of energy back at meeting the group needs. But that doesn't seem to be the case. So I would posit that Fi is fueling that external desire to please.
    Well, it would only feel satisfying if it was an auxillary function, and she's clearly an extravert - dominant Fe types have to make other people happy, because they're easily the most emotionally vicarious of all the types - they take on the feelings and mindsets of others better than anyone else. It's almost like a survival instinct - I have to make everyone else happy by working as hard as I can, because I feel so responsible for it! In these cases, everything is externalised, in a very unhealthy and unbalanced way - resulting in the sort of frustration that LL was talking about.

    A Dominant-Fe type won't find true solace or satisfaction until they:

    • ESFJ: Consider what is important, and vanguard/preserve it against the changing tides (Auxillary-Si)
    • ENFJ: Consider introducing other possibilities to the existing framework, possibilities that are not suggestible by direct observation (Auxillary-Ni)

    Or so the theory states.
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  7. #27
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Both F-functions can cause this behavior. I myself have also been taught that other peoples feelings are important, more important than my own and it is part of my set of values aswell, part of my Fi. So this peace of info isn't really enough to determine Fe or Fe, I'm afraid.
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  8. #28
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    She did say it was when she was feeling insecure, so that could be some sort of shadow reaction. (which sometimes do come out in positive form like that).
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  9. #29
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Both F-functions can cause this behavior. I myself have also been taught that other peoples feelings are important, more important than my own and it is part of my set of values aswell, part of my Fi. So this peace of info isn't really enough to determine Fe or Fe, I'm afraid.
    But it is, because it's all external - "I feel insecure...wait a minute, their feelings are hurt, I need to work harder and take more responsibility for them! That will fix all of this! Wait, why isn't it working? Why aren't I feeling any better? I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do, and more! Maybe if I just keep moving, keep doing stuff in the external world, I'll feel better...". It's a classic case of the vicious Dominant-Fe cycle!
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  10. #30
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    I've finally figured out Fi. It's amazing, really.

    It's nothing but Ti in reverse.

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