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Thread: Baffled by Fi

  1. #11
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I don't know about you, but I am positively baffled by Fi. When people tell me to "go inside myself and see what I want and need and feel and believe and blah blah blah," I just scratch my head and wonder what the hell that means.

    Of course, I wouldn't say that I have no values or principles! I have very strong values and principles. I just find it hard to go 'inside myself' to see what 'I want' if it is not an 'instilled principle.'

    Can anyone else relate? How did you overcome it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Forgive my silly comment, but doesn't everyone have that?

    When I ask people about my type, people tell me to use Fi and go inside myself to 'find the answer.' Well, damn, I find it hard to go in myself to find any answer. Or maybe I just don't realize it.
    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    It's much more simple.

    Fi is one's inner sense of right and wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Yes, everyone has that. Everyone uses Fi.
    Quit the folk-typological interpretations of Fi. Fi is merely a cognitive tendency to become in tune with one's ego or a sense of what feels pleasant or unpleasant in response to the inner content of the mind rather than what is observed in the external world.

    LL, what you are baffled by is people who advise you to make decisions on the basis of your private, often vague and amorphous feelings rather than something that is clear and coherent. This is not the same thing as 'Fi', people are perfectly capable of clouding their minds with muddle and mystery without relying on Fi exclusively.
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  2. #12
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I want to know where the hell this annoying tendency of mine comes from: When someone is grumpy, I automatically assume I am the problem. If someone's angry at work, I assume I didn't work right. If someone is angry at me and a friend of mine, I'll over-analyze everything I have said, might have said, how they might have possibly interpreted it, how I might have come across, and then analyze how that may be responsible for how they are feeling.

    DAMN IT.

    And the worst part is: When I get like that (which thankfully is not all that often) I'll run around in circles, but be too worried to say anything, and then it balls up inside me like RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR. But since I don't want other people to know that I feel like that, I'll keep it to myself, even though it probably does not exist, and ....

    Damn it.
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  3. #13
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Insecurity.

  4. #14
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    Quit the folk-typological interpretations of Fi. Fi is merely a cognitive tendency to become in tune with one's ego or a sense of what feels pleasant or unpleasant in response to the inner content of the mind rather than what is observed in the external world.

    LL, what you are baffled by is people who advise you to make decisions on the basis of your private, often vague and amorphous feelings rather than something that is clear and coherent. This is not the same thing as 'Fi', people are perfectly capable of clouding their minds with muddle and mystery without relying on Fi exclusively.
    So what does this mean exactly?

    You could be right about the folk-typology.

    Still, I find it difficult in certain situations to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,' as I tend to take on other people's stuff as my own, which is not so good. And I would like to learn how to avoid doing that.
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  5. #15
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Insecurity.
    Well, gee, I kind of knew that. I only feel that way when I am insecure. When I am in a secure place and position in life, I don't feel that way.

    The question is: How can I avoid that pitfall in situations where I am NOT comfy, as there will inevitably be certain situations like that in my life.
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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I want to know where the hell this annoying tendency of mine comes from: When someone is grumpy, I automatically assume I am the problem. If someone's angry at work, I assume I didn't work right. If someone is angry at me and a friend of mine, I'll over-analyze everything I have said, might have said, how they might have possibly interpreted it, how I might have come across, and then analyze how that may be responsible for how they are feeling.

    DAMN IT.

    And the worst part is: When I get like that (which thankfully is not all that often) I'll run around in circles, but be too worried to say anything, and then it balls up inside me like RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR. But since I don't want other people to know that I feel like that, I'll keep it to myself, even though it probably does not exist, and ....

    Damn it.
    LL, really, look around on this forum and see what type has what hang ups. It's not an infallible system, but it helps to recognize those things irl as well, and helps you identify why people are pissy and stops you assuming that it is in fact your fault. Same thing, you can see which types piss each other off what way, which in turn allows you to figure out how you are likely to piss off others, once more being able to recognize those reactions irl. You'll learn what's important to people, what pushes their buttons and you'll realize that everyone is different and has different buttons. And it's not because they get their panties in a bunch that they are in fact right on the issue at hand. It just means that this particular issue pushes their buttons, or for that matter, that they're in a pissy mood coz they didn't get some at home. It'll give you a lot more peace and quiet and trust me, you'll suddenly have a ton more energy available to yourself, instead of putting it into worrying and stabilizing your own emotions all the time.
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  7. #17
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    So what does this mean exactly?

    You could be right about the folk-typology.

    Still, I find it difficult in certain situations to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,' as I tend to take on other people's stuff as my own, which is not so good. And I would like to learn how to avoid doing that.
    It means that you're asking the wrong question. Your problem is not with Fi but with people who ask you to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,'.

    This problem is too broad to be investigated from a typological perspective. There are many reasons why people want others to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,'. Most of them depend on empirical factors such as the social circumstances and their idiosyncratic personality qualities. We can't know what those factors are without studying each instance on a case by case basis: this requires an empirical investigation of each case rather than typological apriori reasoning.
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  8. #18
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LL, really, look around on this forum and see what type has what hang ups. It's not an infallible system, but it helps to recognize those things irl as well, and helps you identify why people are pissy and stops you assuming that it is in fact your fault. Same thing, you can see which types piss each other off what way, which in turn allows you to figure out how you are likely to piss off others, once more being able to recognize those reactions irl. You'll learn what's important to people, what pushes their buttons and you'll realize that everyone is different and has different buttons. And it's not because they get their panties in a bunch that they are in fact right on the issue at hand. It just means that this particular issue pushes their buttons, or for that matter, that they're in a pissy mood coz they didn't get some at home. It'll give you a lot more peace and quiet and trust me, you'll suddenly have a ton more energy available to yourself, instead of putting it into worrying and stabilizing your own emotions all the time.
    Hmm. Good point. Thanks for that - one of the big reasons why I'm interested in MBTI at all - understanding others and myself. Maybe it will help me over time if I persist and learn enough.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  9. #19
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    It means that you're asking the wrong question. Your problem is not with Fi but with people who ask you to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,'.

    This problem is too broad to be investigated from a typological perspective. There are many reasons why people want others to be 'in tune with a sense of what feels pleasant,'. Most of them depend on empirical factors such as the social circumstances and their idiosyncratic personality qualities. We can't know what those factors are without studying each instance on a case by case basis: this requires an empirical investigation of each case rather than typological apriori reasoning.
    Okay. Very well.
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  10. #20
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I want to know where the hell this annoying tendency of mine comes from: When someone is grumpy, I automatically assume I am the problem. If someone's angry at work, I assume I didn't work right. If someone is angry at me and a friend of mine, I'll over-analyze everything I have said, might have said, how they might have possibly interpreted it, how I might have come across, and then analyze how that may be responsible for how they are feeling.

    DAMN IT.

    And the worst part is: When I get like that (which thankfully is not all that often) I'll run around in circles, but be too worried to say anything, and then it balls up inside me like RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR. But since I don't want other people to know that I feel like that, I'll keep it to myself, even though it probably does not exist, and ....

    Damn it.
    I think that's a natural response. The Feeling function in general is about achieving emotional/value harmony between different elements, oneself and others. Fe focuses more on group harmony, and Fi more on internal harmony.

    When something is badly out of harmony, it's like having grit in the eye to a Feeling user. It's hard not to want to fix it, whatever it is. I think it takes maturity for Fi-doms to realize they aren't responsible for the feelings of others, and to realize that someone can be yelling in your direction/vicinity without yelling at you.

    I still find it difficult to be around upset people and keep my equanimity. While I now know not to feel responsible, having to consciously shut out the upset is draining and eventually gives me a headache. I find going elsewhere is a perfectly reasonable coping technique, unless there's a good reason to stay.

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