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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    My Daddy wasn't either. I can't imagine anyone looking back on his life and simply saying he was such a nice guy. Quite a few people, including his own family, laugh and mention (with love) what an asshole he could be. I have a hard time accepting the stereotype that ISTJs are "nice guys." However, he was very responsible, loyal to his family, and capable of deep love for particular individuals. That's nice.
    Wait a minute... my father has a second family???

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Wait a minute... my father has a second family???
    Ha ha ha ha ha

  3. #53
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Some people just don't get each other. I don't understand why that's annoying to you.
    Oh that's not annoying, but to call people boring is a different matter. It's funny, there's a thread about that going on right now, an INTJ called her ISFJ friend boring and everyone rallied to the ISFJ's defense.

    Now the tables are turned, ISTJs are the boring ones, INTJs are the interesting ones. If I don't get someone, I don't baseline assume they're boring. Most people you ask believe their sense of humor is odd and off-color. If you're saying what makes INTJs funny and interesting is that they find things funny that most people don't find funny, then my next question is what are these "things" they find funny that makes them so much more interesting?

    I brought up the song because I it has an undertone in it I don't particularly like. I find that many people on this forum enjoy INxJs because they find them difficult to reach, but when you reach them it's a supposedly more satisfying experience. The flipside to that is why do people want people they find emotionally inaccessible? The song was the first thing that sprung into my mind that gets at that idea... "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you."
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #54
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    I think people hugely underestimate ISTJs around here.
    Their efficiency is sometimes undoubtful, and they were just as succesful in high school as INTJs. Their work is necessary in almost every field, that's it. They're the strong fundaments of society, or whatever you'd like to call them.

  5. #55
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Oh that's not annoying, but to call people boring is a different matter. It's funny, there's a thread about that going on right now, an INTJ called her ISFJ friend boring and everyone rallied to the ISFJ's defense.

    Now the tables are turned, ISTJs are the boring ones, INTJs are the interesting ones. If I don't get someone, I don't baseline assume they're boring. Most people you ask believe their sense of humor is odd and off-color. If you're saying what makes INTJs funny and interesting is that they find things funny that most people don't find funny, then my next question is what are these "things" they find funny that makes them so much more interesting?

    I brought up the song because I it has an undertone in it I don't particularly like. I find that many people on this forum enjoy INxJs because they find them difficult to reach, but when you reach them it's a supposedly more satisfying experience. The flipside to that is why do people want people they find emotionally inaccessible? The song was the first thing that sprung into my mind that gets at that idea... "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you."
    I feel dizzy in the head now
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #56
    Senior Member Bri's Avatar
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    I have one INTJ brother and one ISTJ brother. I'd say that the main difference is in their need to please people. The ISTJ is totally the find-a-role-and-stick-with-it/peace-keeper type, which may be why he'd earn the 'nice guy' moniker out of the two. The INTJ is much more independent and daring, and more likely to share his typical detached INTJ-style insights with the world even if they don't care to hear it.

    When it all boils down, they're both really great men in their own ways, and their girlfriends are incredibly lucky to have them!

  7. #57
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    well, if there weren't plenty of INTJs wandering about on this forum posting sinister avatars and claiming that most supervillans fall within their MBTI type some of us would consider you guys less evily bent... blame the bad apples for your image
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post

    I brought up the song because I it has an undertone in it I don't particularly like. I find that many people on this forum enjoy INxJs because they find them difficult to reach, but when you reach them it's a supposedly more satisfying experience. The flipside to that is why do people want people they find emotionally inaccessible? The song was the first thing that sprung into my mind that gets at that idea... "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you."
    I think everything you said is just a matter of personal taste which varies from individual to individual and I can only express my own opinion. But I'm going to specifically address the last paragraph because I think this might have something to do with Fi vs. Fe. Fi really has thing for being "special" and "unique" and having a very specific love tailored toward certain individuals, xNFPs and enneagram 4s I think romanticize it even further, or at least more openly.

    I also think sometimes people who have felt misunderstood in their lives really want to connect with other people who sort of "get them" and the usual explanation for this is that the world is dominated by S types, so Ns are more likely to seek this idea of "the one who understands you" because it's more rare.

    As for wanting people who are emotionally inaccessable, that may have something to do with parental influence during formative years, family dynamics, and people's personal psychological love maps/sexual maps.

  9. #59
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I think everything you said is just a matter of personal taste which varies from individual to individual and I can only express my own opinion. But I'm going to specifically address the last paragraph because I think this might have something to do with Fi vs. Fe. Fi really has thing for being "special" and "unique" and having a very specific love tailored toward certain individuals, xNFPs and enneagram 4s I think romanticize it even further, or at least more openly.

    I also think sometimes people who have felt misunderstood in their lives really want to connect with other people who sort of "get them" and the usual explanation for this is that the world is dominated by S types, so Ns are more likely to seek this idea of "the one who understands you" because it's more rare.

    As for wanting people who are emotionally inaccessable, that may have something to do with parental influence during formative years, family dynamics, and people's personal psychological love maps/sexual maps.
    Ahh, the elusive pink diamond relationship. I see.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  10. #60
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    I can't speak on INTJs, but I can certainly understand why ISTJs would be considered nice. We work hard and care about proving ourselves as dependable pillars of our communities. Now, I'm not nice for the sake of being nice; leave that to the ENFPs. I'm nice because I want people to perceive me a certain way and because it is advantageous to be so. Admittedly though, ISTJs like myself have no tolerance for stupidity, but when it comes to the people who matter things go extra smoothly. Service is our pride.

    I don't think N's work that way though. Like I said, I'm not familiar with INTJs well enough to make any statements that I want to be held accountable for, but from what little experience I have combined with what I know about the MBTI, my guess is that INTJs don't care about how other people perceive them. That doesn't necessarily make INTJs mean, but my guess is that INTJs simply view people like test subjects and treat them accordingly (in contrast to ISTJs who wish to impress).

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