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ENFJ or other E have a need for isolation???

Robert165

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2009
Messages
257
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I'm ENFJ and I need a good bit of isolation and time alone. The world, people and events press in upon me. I'm also bipolar and have anxiety to deal with as well as a need for certinty and control. Would it be typical for a more "stable" ENFJ to need a good amount of isolation?
 

Shaunward

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
297
I'm not quite ENFJ (infact I score 100% T), but I understand the need for "me time." My impression is that most people, regardless of their typological classification enjoy some level of "me time." I know after long periods of face time, I feel the need to get some alone time to read. Once in awhile I just feel like being left alone.

Typologies are not absolute.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I'm ENFJ and I need a good bit of isolation and time alone. The world, people and events press in upon me. I'm also bipolar and have anxiety to deal with as well as a need for certinty and control. Would it be typical for a more "stable" ENFJ to need a good amount of isolation?

yes... this seems to be a general theme for most ENFJs and some ENFPs. I like alone time but it has to be intertwined w/ some external stimulation or I go nuts.... no more than a few straight hours of isolation.
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
I need and enjoy my time alone. I could spend days alone and be just as happy as I am when I'm around lots of people, busy, doing "something". My thoughts easily serve as entertainment.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I absolutely MUST have alone time every day or I get very agitated. It's not negotiable.
 

syndatha

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2009
Messages
255
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
After the last 1,5 weeks, I *know* that I need me-time. I almost thought about switching from E to I.
My parents in law have stayed with us for 1,5 weeks. We've just moved to our new house, after redecorating it (with their help) for 1 week. At the same time I've been packing our stuff, as well as having several people living with us. (Also brother in law some nights.) After about a week with togetherness, I normally feel completely neurotic :yes: Combined with moving, it has been awful. At the same time, I feel guilty for not being able to be as grateful as I know I should be :cry:
I need a lot more me-time than my EN*P husband :blush:
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I'm nowhere near a peaceful, loving enfj unless i have some time away from people.
I love spending time with my friends and i could do so frequently, but when i come home i need some time by myself. It's been compromised a lot lately by my brother living here, so i am 10x as irritable as i normally would be.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
After the last 1,5 weeks, I *know* that I need me-time. I almost thought about switching from E to I.
My parents in law have stayed with us for 1,5 weeks. We've just moved to our new house, after redecorating it (with their help) for 1 week. At the same time I've been packing our stuff, as well as having several people living with us. (Also brother in law some nights.) After about a week with togetherness, I normally feel completely neurotic :yes: Combined with moving, it has been awful. At the same time, I feel guilty for not being able to be as grateful as I know I should be :cry:
I need a lot more me-time than my EN*P husband :blush:

My E/I axis is almost balanced. I have a LOT of trouble coping with tons of activity if I haven't been able to charge up or get away alone somewhere.

My ENFP twin's alone time needs are practically zero compared to mine. She stays mad for about ten minutes. She HATES being left alone for long periods of time (even just sitting quietly with someone else is fine; there doesn't have to be talking). Me, on the other hand, I look forward to being alone. For someone who really likes people and city life, I'm a very odd solitary creature who roosts up in her head 90% of my waking life. I look forward to going to bed too because I like to lay down and close my eyes and disappear into whatever thoughts/scenarios I had been entertaining all day (but couldn't pay total attention to because of outside demands).

My ENFP twin is a cuddle monster. lol
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Not only is having alone time a mandatory need for my sanity, but due to my almost hyper-sensitivity to external stimuli, I prefer being in positive environments filled with positive and, or neutral people.

People have an almost palpable energy, to me, and this can be a wonderful thing sometimes yet is often exhausting.

When I'm alone I'm allowed to check in with myself and focus my energy on myself without feeling guilty for neglecting the person/people I'm with.

So, yeah.

:)
 

Supah

New member
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
7
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
As an ENTP, I LOVE being alone. Tested that INTP vs. ENTP a bazillion times, I'm extroverted. Trying to get motivated enough to leave the house and entertain my peeps at the moment. My prediction is I'm not going to deliver, and would rather spend some time dealing with the ants that have taken over the cat's food bowl (I have another one out for them someplace else, but it's much more important than more socializing right now)



I've heard my type is the most introverted of the Extroverts. Possibly ENFJ too?




Confession: I don't think I know any ENFJs in real life. Every other N type but which is weird to me.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm not even remotely ENFJ, but I definitely need alone time, especially when I'm upset. It's mostly so I can do stuff that I want to do without needing to impress anyone or cater to them or deal with them in any way.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
NEWSFLASH: Even extroverts need to be alone!

Eh, this seems kinda obvious to me.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If I didn't have my ENFP twin (and other extroverted friends) around, I would never have left the house. My INFJ dad and I are so similar it's a little freaky. I'm like him only with the "volume" turned up a bit. My feral nature is very like his internalized ferocity. We both require a lot time to ourselves.

I know only one or two other ENFJs myself. Dunno where they've all gone around here.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
The only other ENFJ (male) that I got to know a little bit seems like he would be pretty low-key. He is more outgoing than I am but still seems a bit subdued. I am not quite sure about the 2-3 other ENFJs. However, the general vibe I get from all the ENFJs (including me) I've met is that they all seem fairly subdued w/ soft-spoken voices but still somewhat energetic. From that, I think ENFJs are one of the most introverted extroverts. However, ENFPs might take that title as they get older.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
NEWSFLASH: Even extroverts need to be alone!

Eh, this seems kinda obvious to me.
True, but there are some extroverts who need, or desire alone time a lot less than others.

I am quite balanced in my E/I divide but I don't think anyone who has ever known me, especially in social situations, would ever question the fact that I am an extrovert, well, cause I am. ;)

But, the mere thought of constantly, or frequently, being in the company of others exhausts me. Such is not the case for some extroverts.

My ESTJ sister and ESFJ mother not only need, but desire and prefer damn near constantly being in the company of others. If they can help it, the only time spent alone would be while taking showers/baths, and sleeping, I guess. My mother requires a daily down time consisting of a thirty minute bath while my ESTJ sister uses driving as a time to "sort her head", but other than these two exclusions, they just don't operate well when by themselves.

So, there are plenty of extroverts who thrive in the constant company of others, while there are others who thrive in a happy balance between being by themselves and being with others.

:)
 

Yloh

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
183
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Well it makes me feel glad to know there are other people who question their E/I line. Sometimes I question if I'm really an INFJ myself, but I know I am overall an ENFJ.

Its kind of funny because I can get so much energy being around my friends or talking one on one with just about anybody.

Being alone is peaceful and I can do what ever I want in total peace. It could be reading a book with no outside noises, playing a video game with out eyes on me, watching anything and what ever I want, think about what ever I want to think about, search my deepest thoughts and feeling in any subject, etc.

Of course I feel life should be lived with a balance. There is a time and place for people and there is a time and place for being alone.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
If I didn't have my ENFP twin (and other extroverted friends) around, I would never have left the house. My INFJ dad and I are so similar it's a little freaky. I'm like him only with the "volume" turned up a bit. My feral nature is very like his internalized ferocity. We both require a lot time to ourselves.

How do your handle your alone time?
I haven't had enough of it in such a long time that i can't even fathom what i would be like. I want to say half elated and free and half drowning in a heavy sea of thoughts.

I prefer the outside world and outside people, but if i didn't have friends to connect me to it i wouldn't go out and obtain it on my own. I'd wither away a while unpleasantly. :huh:
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
True, but there are some extroverts who need, or desire alone time a lot less than others.

I am quite balanced in my E/I divide but I don't think anyone who has ever known me, especially in social situations, would ever question the fact that I am an extrovert, well, cause I am. ;)

But, the mere thought of constantly, or frequently, being in the company of others exhausts me. Such is not the case for some extroverts.

My ESTJ sister and ESFJ mother not only need, but desire and prefer damn near constantly being in the company of others. If they can help it, the only time spent alone would be while taking showers/baths, and sleeping, I guess. My mother requires a daily down time consisting of a thirty minute bath while my ESTJ sister uses driving as a time to "sort her head", but other than these two exclusions, they just don't operate well when by themselves.

So, there are plenty of extroverts who thrive in the constant company of others, while there are others who thrive in a happy balance between being by themselves and being with others.

:)
For sure. I was talking about this with my mother a few days ago, and it's almost like we're two completely different brands of extrovert. She needs to be around people most of the time, while I'm content being alone for very long stretches. The thought of sitting down, alone, and "just relaxing" is foreign to her. In that way, what's torturous for her is bliss for me.
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
659
MBTI Type
eNfj
Enneagram
2
I must have time alone becuase it is the only time I can focus on myself. I am hyper-alert to the needs of everyone around me so when I am in the company of others, I am constantly thinking about them (are they comfortable, hungry, are they bored with the TV show I am watching, blah, blah). So "me" time is a requirement for my mental health.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Sure.
After socializing, I need some alone time.
After being alone for some time, I become unproductive and frustrated.
I don't look forward to socializing, but I know I need it.
 
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