i think avis clarified the "pretentious" thread by using the word presumptuous. which fits in all dominant situations where one function presumes to know the whole truth and ignore others. that makes itself resistant to feedback elsewhere.
i find a different Fi response more interesting: wrath. with ixfps, particularly 4s and at times 9w8s, the response to critique is wrathful. it feels more vehement than anything else. it feels hateful.
i find this interesting in light of the ongoing threads about Fi duality. good/evil, light/dark, love/hate. the romanticism of polar opposites and extremes. Fe may loathe itself, may detest itself, may disgust itself, but Fi can actually practice a form of self-hatred. maybe this is misleading. Fi dom e4s can practice self-hatred. perhaps Fe dom 4s can as well. i don't identify with Fe as much as i identify with Ni, so i can't hate myself in that regard. i can see myself in all those different ways, and imagine myself in ways that would generate hate, but they disappear, just turn to morbid exhaustion and depression. i can't imagine storing them, keeping them, as part of your being, your identification, your sense of self.
but this brings me back to the main topic. the response of Fi e4 to critique. it is a threat to one's own self-identification. by changing your perspective, someone is trying to change your values. they are trying to draw you away from yourself. they are rejecting you. they are rejecting your truth, and your truth is you, and you are nothing without your truth. the idea that you don't have to be fully encompassed by one function, that your system isn't entirely based on Fi, but expands well beyond that, becomes a threatening thing.
but the response feels like wrath. with Ts such things/conflicts feel like a coldness, a detachment, a competitiveness. the anger is just frustration. but with Fi it's wrath, it feels so hateful. maybe it's a self-preservational thing.
my impression of most of the Fi people i know is very positive, but the experience of this is so strange to me. maybe it's Fe's interpretation, but my energy/anger immediately rise to meet it. i want to fucking destroy it, just like it wants to destroy me/the threat/attacker.