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  1. #11
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    .it's not necessarily untrue kindness. It depends on the person. Some people feel cared for by the inquiry and don't view it as inappropriate at all. TBH, I don't think many people inquire about others, or maybe that's just where I'm from.
    I've experienced this myself, and I can say that I'm really pissed off by it as well. I simply feel disrespected - it's like assuming that I'm just too polite or shy to ask for help myself, which mostly isn't the case. Even if I don't feel fine, I can say "I'm fine, thanks" out of politeness instead of "Don't bother". And I wouldn't even say that in most cases it's out of false empathy or anything like that, - which can make it even more incomprehensible to the person that offers help.
    When it happens, the person offering help has motivations I usually don't understand. And after all, helping and being helped is a mutual process that requires cooperation, which requies that each participant is willing - not just the person trying to help.
    I'll just make it unmistakeably clear that I don't want to be helped, even if the effort is appreciated. But I need my privacy.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  2. #12
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quit picking on FJs. They already are well aware of how much they suck by know. Geez Typ0C...you really are a heartless bunch...

  3. #13
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    I don't see a rant against FJs in here.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  4. #14
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avis View Post
    I don't see a rant against FJs in here.
    You need to calm your mind and shut down all excessive noise first, my friend

  5. #15
    Junior Member Anastar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sketchymcsketcherson View Post
    This is one of my pet peeves. Some people who are very close to me do this, and it secretly annoys me to no end. It might sound odd to complain about such a positive trait, but let's be honest here.

    For example, if you aren't feeling well or aren't in the most talkative of moods, this person will ask "Are you okay?" When you say that you're fine, the person repeats the question and tries to pry any information possible regarding your current state.

    While I appreciate the concern, in the end, what good does it do to ask? If I have the flu and feel horrible, no matter how many times you say you are sorry I feel bad, or ask what you can do to make me feel better, or ask if I need anything, it won't help. If I'm sick or depressed or feeling down, I usually like to sit quietly and deal with things on my own. If I need help in some way, shape, or form, I will ask for it.

    I would assume that this is somewhat of an FJ thing, for obvious reasons. Not to put anyone down.

    It's interesting, but if a T does something nice for me, it sometimes feels more genuine than if an F does it. If a T logically thinks through things and figures that I might benefit from something, I think that's a big deal. Don't get me wrong, many Fs are very good, heartfelt people. But sometimes it seems like they are acting on impulses that they can't help. Sure, they're just trying to be nice, but that's sometimes all they can think about. When someone who isn't driven by emotions does something nice for me there's an element of sincerity in it (of course, sometimes the T is just doing it because he or she realizes it's beneficial in the long run for himself ).
    Have you tried talking to your "friends" about your "problem?" If you're really feeling like you want to be left alone because you are not in the mood to talk, why not say so? Why is there such a need to complain about how others express their devotion to you? Many are not so lucky to have friends with such admirable traits. How about this? Count your blessings and stop bitching about how your friends care about you too much.

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