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BULLYING: Personality type with a tendency to bully others? Type of the victims?

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
MBTI Type
ENTP
hmm bullying. I was bullied quite bad at primary school. Mainly physicaly. I was the wimp, the weak guy and the only one who thought football was shit.

So it would be the "cool kids" would try push me around so I would in return verbally abuse them so they went mad and got in crap. It often didn't work as them getting mad got them more violent and then I got in even more shit.

By the time I got to high school though everyone had grown out of physical bullying and started verbal abuse and by that point I was immune to verbal abuse and half-decent at giving it. I still got shit for being weird and a smart-ass and being cocky but if any dished anything out at me I wasn't really bothered by it like other kids and was able to give it back which kept the "kool kids" away from targeting me.


As to bullying. Yeah at times I could be a bully. Mainly against people who tried to bully me though.

I know a lot of kids who had been bullied tried bullying me to make themselves feel better and raise their own social standing since I didn't really react much and had a habit of pissing people off (especially girls) so it was easy (in their minds) to bully me, look like a "hard guy" and turn people against me making themselves popular at the same time. Most regretted it as I would happily take the abuse and give it back laughing half the time as I actually enjoyed trying to outwit them all day.

Now that I'm an "adult" - in the loosest sense of the word - I've found that the bullyings far more political and more subtle. I still get stick off of some people for being a bit wacky and loud but most of them soon back off when they realise that I will keep on giving them shit back and not back down If they pick a fight with me.
 

Craft

Probably Most Brilliant
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
1,221
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
bullies are ESTJ's period
 

Kristiana

New member
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Messages
326
MBTI Type
INTJ
Bullying tends to happen when you're young and thus less developed.

Which is why middle school absolutely sucks. (Kids aren't motivated by stickers, are old enough to do damage, smart enough not to do it in front of teachers, the councelors don't know what to do, ect)

Also.... middle school girl hiarchy... hates NTs (female)
Why? because middle school girl politics are absolute nonsense.
The girls at the top hate not having control, and the rest of the girls just agree with the ones at the top.

They tried to assimilate me (after a while they gave up settled for labling me as a bitch... can't say I cared... to me they were inferior.)

Retrospectively I find this absolutely hilarious. Who says they don't want to be in a lab group with you because you're "too smart."

:yes:

It has nothing to do with being unhealthy. INTx girls are screwed in middle school regardless.

Unless, of course, they are homeschooled. Which I sadly was not. I did manage to get the bullies in big trouble with the teachers, though, and not even on purpose :D

I think that HSPs of all types tend to be bullied more.

The bully "leaders" I have known have been primarily ESTJs.

The bully "followers" I have known have been all different types.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I think most types could become a bully in certain circumstance. I do think some are more inclined to become bullies and some types are very disinclined. If you look at what motivates bullying (attemping to overcome insecurity, inferiority/powerlessness, or social pressure in a proactive manner) certain types are more likely to be suceptible to these pressures and to taking action to against them. Whereas for other types these pressures are insignifcant and/or they are not reactionary to them. I'm not going to point fingers at particular types because I have been on the receiving end of a whole range of methods of and approaches to bullying.

I do think that as an INFP, I was born with a target on my back. I feel completely defenceless when it comes to personal attacks and insults. I have no ability to counter them other than to just sit there and take it, like a deer in the headlights. My skin has thickened over the years but I'm always going to be the easy target. I am/was unusual in a number of ways (tall, thin, red hair, tomboy, awkward etc) but my father (an ISTP) was these things, yet due to great personality, was very popular. If someone teased him, he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. This leads me to think that this is primarily a personality issue - being different can't help but its not the main factor.
 

LunarMoon

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
309
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3
Most Likely: ESxJs
Least Likely: INxPs
Different types have different motives in regard to bullying behavior though some are more likely to bully than others. Types that accept social norms and who have developed a firm idea of how one should act are more likely to bully others because they differ from the norm. Extroverts and Judgers, for that reason, seem to bully more often than Introverts and Perceivers. INxPs seem the least likely to be bullies; they aren't generally proactive enough and have a tendency not to fit in themselves while ESxJs (ESTJ for males, ESFJ for females) are the most likely to bully for the traditional reasons. Male adolescents who have a studied tendency to describe themselves as noisy(extroversion), courageous, and strong (masculine SJ values) tend to more often be bullies. They also have a tendency to pick on males who differ from the norm and who would describe themselves with feminine traits. The stereotypical clique of female high school bullies, on the other hand, are more likely to be ESFJ. They have a strong sense of group loyalty and generally bully through social ostracism.

-Note that both of the respective groups of bullies in the hyperlinked study strongly identify with their gender role. Ns are less likely to do as such and Ps are less likely to care.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
I think Ps are most likely to tease (everything's a game) and Js are most likely to boss.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
ENTP's aren't bullies, if they're seen 'bullying', it's more likely the bullee actually deserved it. And it wasn't really bullying but in the mind of the ENTP, deserved.

A lot of men who hit their girlfriends or wives say things like "you made me hit you." Is that what you mean when you say "And it wasn't really bullying but in the mind of the ENTP, deserved"? Because that's kind of how some of them strike me.
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
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Jul 7, 2007
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3,895
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ENTJ
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8w7
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sx/so
The bullies in my school corridor were ISTJ guy, ESTJ(guy), ISTP(guy), ESTJ(girl), ESTJ(girl), ESTJ(guy), ESTJ(guy), ESFP(girl), ESFJ(guy) and an ISFJ(girl) (!??!).
There is a particular order, but I thought it out according to three separate classes, and they didn't stack neatly. Lots of ESTJ rich kids(with no love from home), though.



Victims: all types possible. From ISFP to ENTJ. It was a shitty social climate, over all.
To avoid physical bullying, I had to beat up the ISTJ and two ESTJs quite badly.
Edit: just to clarify: these were big guys ganging up on the tiny goofy ISTP below.
That ended it for me and a couple of others, especially a goofy ISTP, but I never
escaped the verbal abuse campaigns and backstabbing the girls were engaging in.

What's quite odd is that 9/10 of these people are not really that bad one on one.
It was in reality only one of them who is purely fucked up in the head and downright evil.
That was an ESTJ butch of a girl. Most ruthless and awful person I ever encountered.
She looks like a pig, and doesn't behave as well as one. Guess she realizes it and makes up for it by stomping down others.

Thankfully, this ended when I moved on to secondary highschool (age 16-19).
The ISTJ whom I beat up was still in my class, I beat him and another guy he had riled up when they tried to step on me again.
They both quit doing that and were forced to accept me being different.
Even fixed ISTJ up with a job in Norway later.
I can always see the hint of shame on his face when I talk to him.


Edit: i'd say that bullies are generally people who play team sports, read too little and can't accept people being different than them.
STJs overall seem to be the most common types, especially ESTJs, and this is probably why I have such a hard time liking them or even tolerating them.
Believe me, I am trying to do so. It's getting easier as both me and them are getting older/more mature.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
I was occasionally the target of bullying when I was younger; but I developed the facade of the "crazy kid" so I was left untouched. The act of bullying probably extends from some insecurity within the bully. "Tread on the weak so you remain strong" kind of thing. I would always forecast the bully as someone who wouldn't progress in the real world as long as he continued his childish ways. Of course, I was wrong.

I would say that EXXJs would be the most likely to bully, but any type can victimize or be the victim.
 

Eckhart

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Jan 6, 2010
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1,090
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INFP
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???
Assuming I am really INFP, projecting from my own experiences while not really being comfortable with saying it, I would say INFP can make a good enough target to be the victim.

Well, it was ridiculously easy to hurt or attack me in my young years, I can hardly believe that. I am happy that it didn't happen very often in my youngest years (at basic school), I was very popular. In secondary school however I had some time early where it was really horrible for me. People going on my nerves all the time and having lots of fun with it because I did not react angry but sad and rather wearing all those negative emotions with me, avoiding conflict (I remember I was often "ill"). In very rare situations I would have burst emotions, probably angry, cannot remember exactly.

I can even remember random kids (how to describe, I would say the associal kind of people) on street finding in me some victim sometimes when I just passed them; I seemed to have a big "Good Victim" sign on me. Must be the body language.

Well, I grew up and I learned to handle it better. I don't let things touch me that easy anymore (well, it is sometimes frustrating still, but not that hard anymore) and I will show much less reaction openly and react very harsh so people don't see such an ridiculous easy victim in me anymore. I learned when you just do so as if you don't care people loose interest quickly (though, it depends on WHAT they do). But maybe people at school just found that there were better victims, because they terrorized some much more than me (I know someone who was always in the Bullying position and got bullied himself later). Or they just learned to have more mercy with me when they grew up themselves because I am such a kind person :p

Oh well, when I read what I wrote I think I fit really to the stereotypical INFP profiles? It is awful :D
 

HollyGolightly

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Nov 29, 2009
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293
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1w2
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sp/so
Meh, any type can be a bully or a victim.
I'm INFJ, I was constantly bullied as a kid. One of my bullies was also an INFJ. Nobody believes me when I say that and all I get is "are you sure she was INFJ?". Yup, 100000%. She tested for it and shejust acted very INFJ and she was similar to me in many ways. Bullying can be done indirectly, doesn,t always have to be verbal and physical abuse to your face, doesn't always have to be direct insults...
Got bullied by two ENFJs. The best friend I've ever had was ENFJ. My mother is an ENFJ....what I'm saying is there is good and bad in every type and any type can have people who are unhealthy enough to bully.
Joining in, being a bystander etc is also bullying. You are on the bully's side so aren't you as bad as them? And I think we;ve all done that at some point in our lives, whether we meant to or not.
 

the_red_crusader

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2010
Messages
4
MBTI Type
INFP
I am INFP, and as much as I dont want to admit it, I do agree it is one of the more bullyable types.

When I was younger I was a target a few times, BUT what saved me all through grade school was the fact that I got a long with so many people. This allowed me to be friendly with almost all the cliques but belong to none. When someone would try to bully me I've had other people that were more aggressive types stick up for me.

Great example was in high school, I was in all honors classes and thus labeled, geek/nerd etc. This was easy target for a lot of people, like most of the jocks that had to look and act badass. What prevented me from being bullied was the fact that I knew a lot of people who played sports. I've had football guys stick up for me in front of their friends.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I had the potential to be bullied badly because of my childhood gender confusion (I was a severe tomboy...and by severe I mean that I practically thought I was a boy) and because I had weird ideas/interests (I always had some sort of weird project, like building traps to catch squirrels and other crazy things), but I was physically stronger and taller than most until about seventh grade, I didn't have a sensitive personality, and apparently my neutral face appeared (and still does appear) angry. Those few things together saved me from being bullied or even made-fun-of.

To make a more useful, on-topic comment, however, I do think that personality type is not predictive of bullying or victim tendencies. The key word is "predictive," because while you cannot say that being an INFx makes one more prone to being a victim, or that ESTP makes one more prone to bullying, or whatever, you can see how, if one is a bully or a victim, their types played into how they came to inhabit that role, and how they behaved while acting in it.
 

mrcockburn

Aquaria
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Jan 3, 2010
Messages
1,896
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¥¤
Enneagram
3w4
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sp/so
It really depends on the person, any type could be a bully and any type could be a victim, but these types would be more prone to suit those roles

ESTJ - ENTJ - ENTP - ESTP - for bullies.

INFP - INTJ - INTP - for victims.

ENTP?? Are you sure. I've never been into that playground S&M business...I'm just the quintessential "buddy". :headphne:
 

Parrish

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Dec 12, 2009
Messages
106
MBTI Type
infp
I think unhealthy people can be of any type or sort. I know people of the same type aren`t really the same, so I may just be stereotyping with what I`m about to say, but in terms of the openly bully-type person I associate it best with EXTX types.

My brother was being bullied in grade school. He was the more quiet, somewhat nerdy, fantasy prone glasses wearing sort of guy (I suspect him being an INTP but am not sure), while the bully was what you usually imagine; a big, bulky and loud mouthed guy. I didn`t really know about it until later, since I`m 6 years younger than my brother, but from what my parents told me, when they talked to the bullies father he gave of the same impression as his bully son, so I guess the growing environment is an important factor as especially little kids pick up on the behaviour of those around them pretty fast.
And I think the whole incident deffinitely left a scar.

As for INFP`s being the bullied type...In grade school I had two (girl) friends (probably both ESFP), who lashed out at the slightest attempt of bullying and the bullies usually ended up being sorry. I do seem to get unwanted attention from people who think I`m all marshmallows and rainbows and easy to mess with, but they find out pretty quickly I`m not that soft on the inside when I don`t react the way they wanted and focus their attention elsewhere. But I don`t like using violence in return. My grandma said I was like that ever since I was little and described it as (not literally, but you get the picture) :"wouldn`t take sh*t from anybody, even if they were twice your size":D
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
659
MBTI Type
eNfj
Enneagram
2
Gee, I don't know if I could isolate this to type. Especially becuase you can be a bully through guilt and manipulation just as easily as you can through sheer force and an I is just as capable of slinging guilt around as an E.

I see that several people mentioned ENFJ's or ExxJ's as bullies. I can only speak for myself when I say I have been known to bully bullies. If anyone tries to intimidate me or any of my friends I will turn on a dime...I rip their beating heart out of their chest and stick it where the sun doesn't shine (and they invariably give me a hug and thank me afterwards...it's pretty weird). I've always been that way...it makes for good stories :) But otherwise, I would say I am very cooperative and easy to get along with :)
 

Grace

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
I have to admit that I was slightly a bully (?) when I was younger. In the way that girls are to their friends sometimes. Example: I made my friends give me things like candy and whatnot in order to hang out with me... This was when I was like 7 and 8. I grew out of that gradually and I think it's safe to say that from the age of 16 on I had completely grown out of that "Mean Girl" phase of my life. I never picked on any of the so-called geeks or anything like that though. I just was a bitch to my friends so don't know if it counts as bullying or not.
 

Grace

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
Oh, I would have to agree with those who are saying that ENTP's are not typical bullies. The ones I know don't seem like they would be bullies at all. And if they did bully people I have a feeling that it would be to people who they thought deserved it for being assholes or something.
 
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