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BULLYING: Personality type with a tendency to bully others? Type of the victims?

ChocolateMoose123

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Oct 4, 2008
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I think in some cases a 'bully' is the perception of the person being 'bullied.' That's not to say authentic bullies don't exist because they do (I dealt with some in grade school) but I've been called out for 'bullying' which baffled me because it wasn't my intent. I've never physically bullied anyone and always had an attitude that agrees with not initiating violence. However, in conversation, some people have felt that I've bullied them into certain arguments when that wasn't my intent at all.

I think bullying has an added element of harrassment in it. The fear of repeated attacks. Being a jerk isn't being a bully necessarily. But bullies are jerks.

What you describe sounds like you may have stepped on someone's toes but I wouldn't define that as bullying, unless you were aware of this perception of you and played it up.
 

ZNP-TBA

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I think bullying has an added element of harrassment in it. The fear of repeated attacks. Being a jerk isn't being a bully necessarily. But bullies are jerks.

What you describe sounds like you may have stepped on someone's toes but I wouldn't define that as bullying, unless you were aware of this perception of you and played it up.

I recognized when I might be treading in 'eggshell' territory and I typically abandon the conversation unless I'm roped back into it by the other person insisting I got it all wrong and making a public spectacle of it. When I 'fire back' with information that causes them to short circuit (it's hardly ever personal on my end) that's when I get called out for being 'bullyish.' To be clear, it rarely happens but has happened a couple times.

I've been shown in arguments that I'm flat wrong about something. My reaction is usually some degree of disappointment, not in the fact that I lost the argument, but more in the fact that I couldn't figure out the better argument ahead of time and someone had to school me. But then I also feel relief and some excitement because I still learned something and refined my own knowledge with better information. I usually end up thanking the person and the friendship/kinship continues on a better note or a new friendship is created.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Apr 23, 2007
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I think our culture has some tendency to frame bullying with strength, but the opposite is the reality. The people who are strong are the ones who solve the hard problems in society and face the ugliness head-on. People who work as EMTs, first-respondents to crises, those who work in burn units, etc.
 
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