Yeah ... Although I share the lack of focus and the reluctance to do things I don't enjoy (these are things a lot of EPs seem to have in common), I don't feel this kind of angst.
And I'm not sure what advice to offer. I never know what to tell people who aren't sure what they want except to first figure out what they want and then proceed to step 2, which is the first action needed to pursue it.
But here's a hug:
(and i hope nothing in this post was hurtful)