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  1. #21
    Senior Member Robert165's Avatar
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    hey, you're not going to be young and pretty forever!
    i mean, what do you want to do
    marry some rich guy and live off him?
    i'd think/hope you want your own life.......
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/robert165/

    I'm just trying to do this Jigsaw puzzle, before it rains anymore.

  2. #22
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert165 View Post
    hey, you're not going to be young and pretty forever!
    i mean, what do you want to do
    marry some rich guy and live off him?
    i'd think/hope you want your own life.......
    WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?

    I'll have you know that if I wanted to whore myself off, I could've done that years ago, and could still do that now.





    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #23
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    I will tell you about a conversation I had with my Dad.
    My Dad asked me the very same question I asked you.
    He said he could die tomorrow, with no regrets. Happy.
    I told him I envied him, because I could not do the same.

    There is a divine discontent that lives within some of us.
    No matter what we do, we still want to do more.
    To envision things that other people cannot is a blessing and a curse.
    It demands more of us as human beings.
    We cannot settle. We are restless.

    But does that make you a failure, or fallen angel?
    My dear, I don't think you will hit your stride for several years.
    But in the meantime I want you to focus on a word.

    Passion.

    When you know what you are passionate about, things will begin to make sense to you.
    It will push you, and you will have no choice but to do something about it.
    Until then, do not be so hard on yourself.

    Even fallen angels can rebuild their wings, and fly once again.
    Every now and then I come to a point where I exclaim that I can die a happy man. And then a few days later "I can't go like this! So much more that I need to do!". Heh.

    But I'd still die happy, knowing that I have done as good as I could've in all situations.

    I hope you won't become a ghost! I don't ever want anyone to become a ghost, lingering with the belief that they still haven't managed to do life as they wished. Not that I believe in ghosts but you know what I mean right?
    That's just a sad and tragic thing. And Just imagining what it must feel like. :cold:

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post










    Don't make fun of me, but I watched Avatar the other night, and I felt shaken, like I wasn't following the right path.

    Like I've been neglecting my Fi-ometer.

    I just need to feel *right*.

    And, I guess, right now, I don't feel *right*.

    Am I lost?!!?

    I don't know, but I think I have lost sight of my truest self, and what I'm meant to be doing.

    I'm still processing a lot of pain, and overcoming a victim complex.

    (I was severely abused by my asshole, (deceased) father).

    But, I can't let the ugliness he expelled upon me to take over me, and hold me down, down, down.

    I can't let him win.

    I'm a good person, just a little aimless at the moment.

    I just want some poetry, love and some good conversation.

    I dunno.

    I'm an underachieving perfectionist.

    Sorry, this thread is so self-indulgent.

    Please, anybody, gripe away, too.

    T'will help me to feel a bit less pathetic.
    I like it. It helps me to put the me back into a track that I almost had forgotten in all my gloomy-ness. I should really stop being such a worry-wart and get going with the way I want to do it again. Thanks, I guess!

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert165 View Post
    hey, you're not going to be young and pretty forever!
    i mean, what do you want to do
    marry some rich guy and live off him?
    i'd think/hope you want your own life.......
    Ok, dude.. Honestly. Young and pretty?
    I'm always going to be beautiful, and as young as my heart desires.
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  4. #24
    Senior Member Robert165's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?

    I'll have you know that if I wanted to whore myself off, I could've done that years ago, and could still do that now.





    i'm not trying to be mean or judgemental
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/robert165/

    I'm just trying to do this Jigsaw puzzle, before it rains anymore.

  5. #25
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I can relate. I was 17, without purpose, without worry, persuing art, writing, and any other stupid idea that came to my head. I thought, oh I'll be a hat maker this week. Or next week, maybe I could draw.

    I think the major driver that made me choose rigid, solid plans for life was the fact that I was the oldest, and thus relied on the most amongst my siblings and parents. Even now, I want to fall back into a life the way you live it, and watch it from within my little box.
    You remind me of my eldest sister, here.



    It ain't easy for you first borns.

    I'm the baby of the bunch, aka, the brat!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Meanwhile, get other people to do the things you don't like doing, like organising your bills and doing your tax. The responsible thing to do is to make sure it happens, there's no rule that says you have to do them!
    I currently have my cognitively challenged, FOB, Korean mother doing all my important-real-life-drudgery stuff for me.

    Does that make me an asshole, a parasite, an idiot, or all three!??!



    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Hell babe...Are you quoting my biography?


    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    There is a divine discontent that lives within some of us.
    No matter what we do, we still want to do more.
    To envision things that other people cannot is a blessing and a curse.
    It demands more of us as human beings.
    We cannot settle. We are restless.

    But does that make you a failure, or fallen angel?
    My dear, I don't think you will hit your stride for several years.
    But in the meantime I want you to focus on a word.

    Passion.

    When you know what you are passionate about, things will begin to make sense to you.
    It will push you, and you will have no choice but to do something about it.
    Until then, do not be so hard on yourself.

    Even fallen angels can rebuild their wings, and fly once again.
    Holy hell, man.

    Phenomenal post.

    Need to digest and process these insights, they're recurring themes in my life, that I insolently perhaps choose to forget?!!?

    My passion is so dispersed.

    I'm on fire one second, feeling so alive, then I'm nothing but a heap of ashes.

    Ashes to ashes, everything crashes.

    FACK BALLZ!!!

    What am I *really* passionate about, need to rethink this.

    People.

    I'm passionate about people.

    And, love.

    And, connecting.

    And I want to help others fulfill their potential, ironically. :/
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #26
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Why can't I focus on ONE THING, why must I constantly get side-tracked and distracted!?!?!?

    I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I "GROW UP"

    And, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

    But, I think... somehow, someway, I need to become more responsible.

    But how?!?!?

    I just want to be happy, pursue things I love, and, in a small way, make the world a better place.
    Some people, SS, are just as responsible as they need to be (I consider myself among this group -- seriously, no derogatory implications intended here). Especially when it comes to deciding on a focus in school/career, some people just aren't permanently comfortable in any one niche, and what one person considers "responsible", another can legitimately consider "stifling".

    Take me... I'm a twin. My twin sister knew, at something like the age of 15, what she wanted to do in college and after that, professionally. To the best of my knowledge, she never had any doubt -- over 20 years later, she does exactly that, excels under pretty much any standard you could name, and likes it. I wasn't sure at all... thought I knew, changed my mind on more or less a whim after a semester of college. Stuck with that until I finished college, and waffled what to study in graduate school. Did that for seven years and changed my mind to something else. Now, I'm debating on making a (minor) change again. I suspect that I'll never find "my thing".

    That's not all bad, though. I wouldn't call myself traditionally responsible (especially in comparison to my sister), but I do just fine. There's a limit to how carefree you can be and not adversely affect others, of course, but it doesn't sound like you (or I) are anywhere near that line. Variety has its advantages too, even if they're not always quantifiable.

    Anyway, you're not alone in that, and it can certainly work out okay -- so while it's definitely something to think about, a lack of certainty isn't the end of the world .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    Some people, SS, are just as responsible as they need to be (I consider myself among this group -- seriously, no derogatory implications intended here). Especially when it comes to deciding on a focus in school/career, some people just aren't permanently comfortable in any one niche, and what one person considers "responsible", another can legitimately consider "stifling".

    Take me... I'm a twin. My twin sister knew, at something like the age of 15, what she wanted to do in college and after that, professionally. To the best of my knowledge, she never had any doubt -- over 20 years later, she does exactly that, excels under pretty much any standard you could name, and likes it. I wasn't sure at all... thought I knew, changed my mind on more or less a whim after a semester of college. Stuck with that until I finished college, and waffled what to study in graduate school. Did that for seven years and changed my mind to something else. Now, I'm debating on making a (minor) change again. I suspect that I'll never find "my thing".

    That's not all bad, though. I wouldn't call myself traditionally responsible (especially in comparison to my sister), but I do just fine. There's a limit to how carefree you can be and not adversely affect others, of course, but it doesn't sound like you (or I) are anywhere near that line. Variety has its advantages too, even if they're not always quantifiable.

    Anyway, you're not alone in that, and it can certainly work out okay -- so while it's definitely something to think about, a lack of certainty isn't the end of the world .
    Yeah, I've never truly known what I wanted to be or do with my life.

    Still learning, deciding, being, so to speak.

    Great post, Kelric, very uplifting!!!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #28
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post
    I'm always going to be beautiful, and as young as my heart desires.
    ^100

    I've never really questioned my core, which is beautiful, I just constantly question my actions, which can be, well, questionable, at times.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #29
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    `
    I'm 27, and, in many ways, refuse to "grow up".

    And by "grow up" I mean, settle down into an occupation, an academic field, or, I dunno, do such stifling things as my taxes. :/

    I'm a perpetual child, and I CAN'T STAND doing things that I do not LOVE!!!!

    At this point, I have accumulated over 140 credits but have yet to get my B.A.

    I need to feel INSPIRED in order to really do anything, seriously, I do.

    Yeah, and I am indolent, too.

    le sigh...

    Why can't I focus on ONE THING, why must I constantly get side-tracked and distracted!?!?!?

    I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I "GROW UP"

    And, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

    But, I think... somehow, someway, I need to become more responsible.

    But how?!?!?

    I just want to be happy, pursue things I love, and, in a small way, make the world a better place.

    I want to continue to explore and learn and absorb new things, and live life to the fullest, but alas, that dreaded reality-factor comes in.

    Having to pay bills and shit.

    It's all about the path, right?

    The journey, the process...

    But, am I aimless?!?!?

    Doomed to go nowhere?!!?

    I do not have a set destination.

    I just know what feels right, when it feels right.

    Who can relate?!?!

    Can you relate??!?

    I think I may need help.

    Do I need help!??!

    Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

    With love and respect,

    -SS

    I relate to ALL of this, even down to the 140+ credits but no degree.

    Being married and having kids has given me a sense of purpose, but,to a large degree, I still have those core issues you speak of.

    I don't know if it applies to other EPs, but I certainly feel your pain, my ENFP Sista.
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  10. #30
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    I'm a make-believe grown up.

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