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Thread: Pretentious Fi

  1. #461
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    People tend to get annoyed with my observations because I notice things that they thought they had kept sufficiently hidden or that they're not prepared to deal with yet. Then sometime later they will come to me and tell me exactly what I have already told THEM... and act like it's a major revelation... I've just learned to keep quiet about many of the things I notice about people and let them find those things out in however much time it takes, since they won't listen to me, anyway, and they'll probably get all offended if I bring it up.

    And yes, other types seem to get really upset with me often for not being... irrational/hostile enough, when they try to inflame me with anger or antagonize me in some way. Well, that's not how I do. Sorry to disappoint, but at the same time... I'm not particularly sorry that I usually treat people well and generally have a calm demeanor, regardless of how I am treated.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
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  2. #462
    Senior Member Kenneth Almighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rowingineden View Post
    People tend to get annoyed with my observations because I notice things that they thought they had kept sufficiently hidden or that they're not prepared to deal with yet. Then sometime later they will come to me and tell me exactly what I have already told THEM... and act like it's a major revelation... I've just learned to keep quiet about many of the things I notice about people and let them find those things out in however much time it takes, since they won't listen to me, anyway, and they'll probably get all offended if I bring it up.

    And yes, other types seem to get really upset with me often for not being... irrational/hostile enough, when they try to inflame me with anger or antagonize me in some way. Well, that's not how I do. Sorry to disappoint, but at the same time... I'm not particularly sorry that I usually treat people well and generally have a calm demeanor, regardless of how I am treated.
    Overall, this bugs me. It may be Fi's nature, which can be a great boon, as when I'm feeling down they're always listening.

    But then the best way for me to feel better is to get some playful shit stirred, not be analysed!

  3. #463
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Almighty View Post
    Overall, this bugs me. It may be Fi's nature, which can be a great boon, as when I'm feeling down they're always listening.

    But then the best way for me to feel better is to get some playful shit stirred, not be analysed!
    When other people ask me to listen to me but don't want me to provide any advice or insight whatsoever, I tell them to go write a book about it - because the paper can't talk back.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  4. #464
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Almighty View Post
    Overall, this bugs me. It may be Fi's nature, which can be a great boon, as when I'm feeling down they're always listening.

    But then the best way for me to feel better is to get some playful shit stirred, not be analysed!
    Usually, if I notice that, I'll play about a bit, to relax you. After that, I'll check if you wanna talk

    Feel free to indicate that you'd rather not talk but go do something fun..you'll find NFPs tend to be responsive to your requests
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #465
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Almighty View Post
    Overall, this bugs me. It may be Fi's nature, which can be a great boon, as when I'm feeling down they're always listening.

    But then the best way for me to feel better is to get some playful shit stirred, not be analysed!
    This depends on the Fi users nature. If they are patient and loving and don't feel the need to influence their environment (usually extroverted) they will allow you to go create trouble as it doesn't wind them up. If they are introverted (or introverting) and feel the need to control their environment for self protection or other reasons then you will find they turn into an angry brick wall that doesn't like you messing up their self imposed security via idealism.

  6. #466
    Senior Member Kenneth Almighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Usually, if I notice that, I'll play about a bit, to relax you. After that, I'll check if you wanna talk

    Feel free to indicate that you'd rather not talk but go do something fun..you'll find NFPs tend to be responsive to your requests
    Now, are my requests limited in any way? ;p

  7. #467
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Almighty View Post
    Now, are my requests limited in any way? ;p
    That would depend on the particular NFP. You'll find most non-judgemental, and gently rebuffing if it's not their cup of tea, while inviting you to come back for other stuff
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #468
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    It seems like Fi people constantly think they know how other people are feeling but are wrong many times.
    I agree with this but only for myself. I used to think this way a lot more often, but I've misinterpreted things so many times that I find myself absolutely clueless as to how I should approach the world. When I try to guess at how someone is feeling, I'm often only relating it back to a similar experience I've had, and again, I'm usually wrong about how that other person feels.

    Since Fi is my dominant function, and it has a tendency to just consistently screw me over with unrealistic perceptions/ expectations/ wants/ needs, I find myself really unsure of how to make decisions in which I can feel comfortable or have faith.

    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    I see the value in Fi when it's used more realistically, but it seems to me like oftentimes it's just completely out of control.
    If Fi is "completely out of control" (and I agree for myself it's hard to keep under control at times), what is the best way to actually feel comfortable in any of the decisions or perceptions I have? This is, again, a serious question. What are good practices/tests to keep to make sure you're using Fi "realistically"?
    Last edited by TheEmeraldCanopy; 09-23-2010 at 02:22 AM.
    4w3 sx/sp? INFP, INFp

  9. #469
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    Fi can be as narrow minded as Ni supported by extraverted judging.

    Fi can be extremely subjective (functions aren't skill sets) and I have found that those infps' with a slippery grasp on Ne -think- they are right, even when external factors point that they are actually wrong. And yet they -continue- to pursue their judgment without considering new information.

    The most hypocritical people I have ever met or witnessed online have been fi-doms.

  10. #470
    Member Srho's Avatar
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    I constantly analyze people's emotions and motives, but usually just within my own head. I know this to be true of many of my close friends that aren't EJs.

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